Nervous Mum-To-Be

Hi everyone, 
I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post....

I'm 15 weeks pregnant with first child, and just found out my partner (baby's father) is likely to be made redundant within 12 weeks...

We're not living together at the moment, but I was relying on him for financial support once baby is here...

I've been off work since 2018, due to PTSD. However, I feel well enough to return to work now. I was previously a NHS bank worker, and worked on the hospital wards as a health care assistant. I'm more than happy to return to that, but I'm scared about Covid19 and the baby..... is it worth the risk?

Despite my worries, I contacted NHS bank and they're not taking on at the moment. So if I did manage to get back on the Bank, it won't be for a month or two. Not an issue, but I need to factor in I won't get maternity pay.

I'm just looking for general advice. I don't have parents to support me financially, and I have a mortgage and bill's to pay. I'm on ESA at the moment, totalling £450ish a month. My partner has been helping pay my mortgage, so I've not missed any payments etc.

My partner and I are getting along well, but I dont want to be reliant on him where the roof over my baby's head is concerned. Am I right in thinking this way?

Thank you all.
Emergency Fund: £300 / £1,000 (30%).


  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,107 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    My partner and I are getting along well, but I dont want to be reliant on him where the roof over my baby's head is concerned. Am I right in thinking this way?
    I suggest you look at what ESA you'll be entitled to: I think you'll still get that if you're not entitled to SMP or MA. 

    Your partner will have to pay Child Support. If he doesn't pay voluntarily, you can go to the Child Maintenance Service, although they prefer people to sort this out amicably, and it's to your financial advantage to do this.

    Given a choice between relying on the state, and relying on a partner, for the roof over your baby's head, I'd hope a loving partner would be more generous, but of course I don't know his financial circumstances. 
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • HampshireH
    HampshireH Posts: 4,496 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Your partner could pick up work in another role whilst looking for the work he wants.

    He should get some redundancy pay to enable this too.

    Your plans sounds good but at 15 weeks pregnant you will start to feel exhausted before it gets better. If you have been out of work for 2 years is going back in pregnancy a good idea?

    Alternatively you too could pick up other work that you may not have considered before. 
  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    edited 5 July 2020 at 10:12PM
    I agree at looking at work you haven't tried before. I worked in a call center when I was expecting. You don't have to do anything physical and can work really close to the birth. If you contact an agency you might find some temporary contracts. Obviously discrimination on the grounds of pregnancy is not allowed but once you start to show, people will be reluctant to hire you. If it's a temporary contract it will probably be easier. You may be eligible for universal credit as well. Worth checking. 
    It's natural to want to provide. Nesting instinct! I'd get an emergency fund together and then do what you can. Working a few hours may well boost your confidence but don't put pressure on yourself. Enjoy the pregnancy. Your partner should probably take on anything he can until he finds a 'proper ' job. A lot of supermarkets needs staff, delivery drivers and cleaners are in demand right now. 
  • NewMeNewLife
    NewMeNewLife Posts: 187 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    edited 6 July 2020 at 10:43AM
    Thank you all so much. Just reading your replies has calmed me, and now I know I can do this. 

    Partner will always support baby, I think. But I feel as if I need the security of knowing I'm self sufficient for the baby. Hope that makes sense?

    First task: £1,000 emergency fund.
    - I'm getting this together by selling my breeding reptiles. So far, £250 in the bank. So 25% of the way there! I'm calling the fund my 'rainy day divorce fund'. I read it somewhere, and even though we are not married, I feel the name fits well. I've also been open with my partner about this, and explained that I need a little emergency fund for myself, incase things go bad, in order to feel secure and in control. He understands. So no hiding, which is great.

    Task two:
    I've decided to try open a Help to Save account with £50 a month, and after 4 years, I should get 50% of what I saved added on top. Sounds way too good to be true, but I'm happy to try it! 

    Third task: 
    Contact creditors and get decent payment plans in order. Explain my circumstances, and try using the snowball effect? Pay off smallest to biggest? It's worth a shot, anyway. 

    Long Term Goals:
    1. 3-6 months emergency fund. This may take a few years, but better than nothing.
    2. Pay off creditors (will be a while, but hey ho).
    3. Focus on paying off mortgage? Won't be tackling this goal for a long while yet, but find it exciting to have in the pipe lines. 
    4. Save for kids.

    What does everyone think?

    Thanks again to those who replied, you boosted my confidence. 

    Emergency Fund: £300 / £1,000 (30%).
  • bearcat16
    bearcat16 Posts: 339 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Just a point about task 3 : Contact Creditors.

    Personally I would only do this if you are in financial crisis, as they are likely to view your actions as a notice that you cannot pay. That will trigger a whole process that will instantly wreck your credit rating, and they may even close your account(s) and pass them on to debt collection agencies.

    You can snowball your debts without contacting your creditors, it’s easy to overpay any consumer debt (ie loans, credit cards etc).

    You simply rank your debts in order of APR. Pay the minimum possible on all but the highest interest one, and divert any spare funds to that one until it’s paid off. Then repeat with the next highest one and so on.

    Of course you can only pay the minimum on things like credit cards. Loans usually have a fixed payment, which you cannot underpay (though you can make overpayments)
  • KimBaumgart
    Hi! I hope you are doing well! :) I am in a similar situation. it is a high-risk pregnancy and I can not work at the moment, Totaly dependant on him. It makes me super anxious because I am used to having my own money. All I can say is don't worry. The only thing that is important now is that you try to remain calm and positive about the future. Things will turn out great, you will see :)
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