Almost 50, fat and depressed!

Pennylane

I know how you feel too!  I have gained nearly a stone in lockdown having lost 1.5 stones at Slimming World last year.  I lose weight really slowly and whether I do loads of exercise or hardly any seems to make no difference.  I just cannot face going back to SW as I have done it about 5 times over many years and if I hear “muller yogurts, quark or Hifi bars” ever again I will scream.  Oh and “you’ve gained a pound but that will be muscle!” 😂😂😂.   

I hope you find the right way to lose weight, I am still undecided but wondering about counting calories.

joho

Ah seriously, thank you all for your words and sharing your stories. Nice to know I'm not alone.

I had a meltdown the other day. I had wanted to lose a little bit of weight (just a pound or two) before having a weekend away with the husband, just so I could fit into some clothes I already had. But as that wasn't happening in time, I accepted being a size up to where I wanted to be and bought a pair of cropped jeans and trousers - both the same bigger size.

Guess what?

One pair too small, one too big! And the size down from the too big jeans was too small, and the size UP from the too small trousers was too big!

Seriously p'ed off and upset. Just wanted a couple of bits to see me through a few days before I could buckle down and work on my fitness and weight again.

Sat on the bed and cried and cried and cried. And then didn't get up for 2 days. Never done anything like that before (found it quite easy! ) . Really didn't want to get up again at all. Told husband to cancel weekend away.

Am up now. Not 100% over it, but it has focussed my mind somewhat. Have been good with food and had no alcohol for a couple of days (I'm not an alcoholic but have been drinking too often during lockdown!). Might lose a little bit of weight but not really too worried for this short while.

Supposed to be going back into work this coming week and I think maybe some of it was worrying about that. Might be time to talk to the doctor again.

Stay safe all.Jo.xx

belfastgirl23

I don’t know if it helps but on the alcohol thing I find it’s easier to just stop than to moderate. My problem is once I’ve had a drink all bets are off both in terms of drinking more and in terms of eating things that are not helpful to losing weight. I do a ‘dry’ month periodically when I’m trying to lose weight - this is dry July to make up for quite a wet June (and I don’t mean the rain).

It does sound though like you have more going on than just wanting to lose weight. It is a very stressful and difficult time for a lot of people (is there a menopause thing going on to, if so singing to the choir!). Definitely right to see the doctor if you have concerns about that.  And now is the time while things are quiet(er) - there may come a point again when we find it harder to access healthcare services so I’d say make the most of it now. Just to throw into the mix I know right now (perimenopausal) alcohol is NOT good for my mental health, I enjoy it at the time but it makes me feel depressed and sad the next day. I’m not saying it’s the same for you but I would say watch and see if you can notice any patterns. Similarly I know when I eat reasonably well and walk I definitely feel better and calmer and less prone to anxiety. Again it doesn’t mean that would be the case for you but worth noticing the impact of different kinds of foods etc on your own well being. 

And you’re right not to get overly worried about losing weight, focus on feeling better in yourself because that’s the basis that you can really build sustainable weight loss on. Trying to lose weight from a position of despair might work short term but really rarely does long term in my experience!

MrsStepford

My mother is a serial dieter. She weighs herself religiously every day and panics if she weighs 2lbs more. Jockeys will use a sauna to lose weight for a race. Two pounds is probably water. I find, if I keep hydrated, my body doesn't hang on to that water.  She is currently waiting for The Pioppi Diet. The one diet she never tries is low carb, because she loves her bread, spuds, pasta etc.
 
Clothes.. seems like every store has a different size guide. Men have it easy. They can get jeans and trousers in every waist measurement and up to three leg lengths. T-shirts are Small, Medium, Large etc. Often better quality cotton and roomier armholes too. I buy a lot of my clothes in the mens' sections in ASDA and Sainsburys. I used to buy linen womens' trousers from charity shops and Jaeger and Windsmoor sizes were sensible.  

[Deleted User]

38, over 18 stone at my heaviest after lock down with 50+ BMI.
High under active thyroid.
Could have cried today - got private prescription for Sazenda (didn't like the NHS diabetics alternatives) here is to getting my life back even if I had to deal with a needle.

joho

You can cry along with me @Deleted User ! I don't know what Sazenda is but well done on facing a needle!

I've joined Noom. No excuses about losing weight now! If anyone has any q's about it, I can tell you my first impressions.

I've also recharged my Fitbit and been out walking with the husband. One thing at a time. Hopefully the local gym will open soon and can get some classes in.

Back to work this week too at some point, though reduced hours and activities.

Feeling a lot clearer about things. PMA and all that.

As for clothes, I know a lot of people (my husband included) say that the size is just a number. But it isn't. You have to have a starting point in choosing the items that 'might' fit you. Personally I can't afford to buy 3 sizes of an item to take home and try on, and then have to (hopefully) take 2 back! If they were just a number they wouldn't need sizes in clothes at all! It is not fair that you can't pick up a 14 in any shop and it at least be close to a 14 in other shops.. But hey ho, the trials of life and first world problems.

Lots of people have it worse than me!

Stay safe lovely people. Thank you for letting me vent. Feel free to tell me to grow up!

Jo.x

goldfinches

Clothes are really annoying aren't they, they're not even consistent across one line or range let alone one shop. 
Great news that you're feeling a bit better and beginning to find ways to get outside in the daylight. 
I've never heard of Noom or Sazenda for that matter but big slap on the back from over here for searching for and then choosing to do something that will help you, that's never as easy to do as to type, is it?
Come back and vent whenever you need to and let us know how it's going.
Stay safe, goldfinches 

belfastgirl23

Will be very interested to hear how you find Noom, I’ve seen the adverts and been curious about it.  

I actually think walking can be as good as gym classes, besides anything else it clears your head and gives you time to think which can make a big difference in itself, hopefully the Fitbit will give you a lease of life, I know I find it really useful just to keep an eye on getting some activity in every day. And getting back to some sort of ‘normal’ life might also just help you settle into a routine that’s more helpful to losing weight. Good luck.

And oh lord, the clothes issue. I think I’m just sized all wrong for them, if something fits my shoulders it’s tight on my bust and hanging on my waist. Elastic waistbands are my friends because otherwise something that covers my bum gapes at the waist. As for sizes, all bets are off!  Clothes shops do depress me, I think you need a lot of time and patience to find something that actually fits and looks right, especially from your 40s onwards. I’m not ready to go into granny clothes but I’m too old for young clothes. No advice for you except that it’s not you, it’s the clothes.

belfastgirl23

By the way, one thing I have been trying out (based on advice) was to weigh daily at the same time and to use scales that sync automatically to an app, but to pay most attention to my weekly average not day to day changes. I use the Fitbit weight tracker for this and watch whether it’s trending up or down, because otherwise every time I eat something salty or even just weigh heavy, I’m tempted to fall into a pit of despair and eat like a crazy woman. I find this very useful. It also helps to notice that even if I have a bad day it doesn’t have to turn into a bad week. 

goldfinches

I agree with both your comments belfastgirl123 and join you in needing stylish clothes for the over 50s that don't signal that you have one foot in the crimplene grave! I'm currently wearing twenty year old Eddie Bauer chinos with a Uniqlo t-shirt bought in their online sale a fortnight ago and am eagerly browsing the lockdown clearout glut in the local charity shops. Once you are a 16 or smaller they're full of bargains, so keep up the good work and you can look forward to lots of choice.
Waving from my daily walks, goldfinches