Trying to get my debts off my chest.

pinpins

This is probably the 4th attempt at this. At the beginning of this year I had a overdraft of £3000 that I was fully using and a credit card debt of £6000.
Over the past 5 years I have been living beyond my means and also, bailing out my OH which I realise is terrible. He currently owes me over £2000.
I got completely overwhelmed and made myself feel so very unwell. I stopped checking my bank balance when I knew it was getting scary and would just check it again on payday when it didn’t look as scary.

I decided to write up a budget and be really strict with myself. I got a monzo card to have my personal spending money on. I sold old clothes/household items I no longer needed and added that to my spending money and also chipped away at my CC debt.

I did a balance transfer to my overdraft so I wasn’t being crippled with fees. Then the debt is in one place.

I have been doing this since January and am now with £6000 left of debt.
I also have a safety £1000 in my account for emergencies, which I have not touched since I built it up in March.

I know this is long waffled post but for the first time in my adult life I feel like I’m getting on top of this.
 I check my bank balance everyday. That may equally be as unhealthy and not checking at all but I really feel in control of it this time.

I can do this. 

fatbelly

Getting your debt down from 9k to 6k in 5 months is excellent. At this rate there's not going to be much debt left by the end of the year.

So the 6k debt is on a credit card - is it at 0%?

The key with your budgeting is to look at every figure and see if it could be reduced - even by a small amount

Do you use Quidco/Topcashback? Often a good source of free cash if you were going to buy anyway

pinpins

Thank you so much. Unfortunately it’s not 0%, it’s approx 20% and I pay around £90 interest but this is getting less and less each month.
I have changed things like insurance/ phone contract/ food shopping( this has become very thrifty) 
I do use Quidco a lot and the cash back goes onto my CC.

I found my head was feeling very cloudy, but with every bit I pay off my card it feels clearer. 

BabyStepper

You have done so well, I'm really impressed. £1k emergency fund and 33% of your debt gone. Great! 

Why don't you start a diary and we can all follow along and offer suggestions? You're not on you own. 

Also, any chance of getting the £2k back from your partner? 

sharpe106

You done well so far and at the rate going the debt will be gone soon.

 What are you partners finance like as it sounds like you have been helping them too, if they carry on spending you might find all your hard work undone. So it might be worth having a good conservation with them.

enthusiasticsaver

Brilliant result so far and I would say if checking your bank balance daily alleviates anxiety that is fine. Better than not checking at all. I would try and get that £2k off your OH and next time don't bail him out as you have now ended up with the problem instead. What did he need the £2k for? Keep going as you are and that debt will soon be gone. 

pinpins

BabyStepper said:

You have done so well, I'm really impressed. £1k emergency fund and 33% of your debt gone. Great! 

Why don't you start a diary and we can all follow along and offer suggestions? You're not on you own. 

Also, any chance of getting the £2k back from your partner? 

Thank you so much. That’s a really great idea. I’ve just used Ziffit on some dvds/cds/games and then musicmagpie on the items ziffit wouldn’t accept. Will wait for them to confirm the amounts on those. 

He is paying little bits back here and there but his income has changed and he can’t pay off as much as I’d like.
 

sharpe106 said:

You done well so far and at the rate going the debt will be gone soon.

 What are you partners finance like as it sounds like you have been helping them too, if they carry on spending you might find all your hard work undone. So it might be worth having a good conservation with them.

Thank you. His finances aren’t great and he used payday loans at the beginning of our relationship which I was unaware of. 

He is getting much much better but finds the topic stressful. But it’s a conversation that gets easier each time.

enthusiasticsaver said:

Brilliant result so far and I would say if checking your bank balance daily alleviates anxiety that is fine. Better than not checking at all. I would try and get that £2k off your OH and next time don't bail him out as you have now ended up with the problem instead. What did he need the £2k for? Keep going as you are and that debt will soon be gone. 

The 2K was little amounts here and there to pay bills etc, and there’s interest added as I was paying it on my CC and overdraft fees. I haven’t lent him anything in over a year.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I am really feeling like I’ve turned a corner and I know the more I talk about it the easier it’ll become. 

For anyone starting this journey, I’ve found that monzo for my personal spending money helps as it shows where you spend the most- a wake up call on buying unnecessary items. 

Also, the Fudget app is helpful for planning income/ outgoings. I like checking off lists and this satisfies that!!

Thank you all again.
X

pinpins

When I did a money transfer to get out of my overdraft seeing my CC so close to being maxed out and having no emergency fund really scared me and gave me the wake up call I desperately needed.

Singlespeeder

Good going ! I too buried my head and didn't check balances if I thought they were bad ... but would still take money out as obviously the requirement for the withdrawal was more important than crippling debt I found myself in .... DOH!
Since my LBM 18 months ago I now check balances everyday, plan what I'm going to allocate to where for the next month, opened a Starling account (love having those ringfenced 'spaces' !) & transfer the pre allocated amount to it every month and ONLY use that account for spending. Also a massive thing for me was sorting an Annuals space, the things I have to spend money on once a year, car insurance etc, birthdays, .... I simply worked out all of them and what I expect to spend on each, divide that by 12 and added 10% so I now transfer £150 a month into a space on Starling and pay for Annuals stuff from that account.... there's over £450 in there at the moment as I'm in a quiet period for Annual spends... Hopefully there will be a little left over too.
It's about LBM's and finding what works for you.

ryanm8655

Great work! Well done!
Have you checked whether you can get any 0% balance transfer cards to get the debt gone more quickly?
You're doing a fantastic job. I hope you're charging your partner interest!

pinpins

Singlespeeder said:

Good going ! I too buried my head and didn't check balances if I thought they were bad ... but would still take money out as obviously the requirement for the withdrawal was more important than crippling debt I found myself in .... DOH!
Since my LBM 18 months ago I now check balances everyday, plan what I'm going to allocate to where for the next month, opened a Starling account (love having those ringfenced 'spaces' !) & transfer the pre allocated amount to it every month and ONLY use that account for spending. Also a massive thing for me was sorting an Annuals space, the things I have to spend money on once a year, car insurance etc, birthdays, .... I simply worked out all of them and what I was prepared to spend on each, divide that by 12 and added 10% so I now transfer £150 a month into a space on Starling and pay for Annulas stuff from that account.... there's over £450 in there at the moment as I'm in a quiet period for Annual spends...
It's about LBM's and finding what works for you.

Thank you. That is exactly it. It was easier to not check it when I knew it was going to be bad anyway.
 I have a Monzo pot for those once a year spends. So far I haven't had to use it and have been using my spending money for birthdays etc. 

ryanm8655 said:

Great work! Well done!
Have you checked whether you can get any 0% balance transfer cards to get the debt gone more quickly?
You're doing a fantastic job. I hope you're charging your partner interest!

Thank you. I am just looking into that as that will help it shrink quicker. I think I can get the bulk of it gone by the end of the year. 
I certainly am! I shouldn't be paying it for helping him out. 
 
I haven't checked my credit score in a while and have just seen its gone up quite a bit. This has made me feel like I have got over another hump.