Does anyone else's child do this? 1 June at 3:38PM in MoneySaving Mums 21 replies 949 views

TiaLomax754

My 7 year old autistic Daughter sometimes does this thing where you walk towards her and she runs so your left chasing her round a shop or wherever it is.

Does anyone else child do this?

Have you found a way to stop them doing it?

Thanks in advance.

pramsay13

I don't have a child with autism but I used to work with young adults that did. 

If you chase them it turns it into a game which could reward the behaviour.

What is her understanding like? You could explain that sometimes in a shop or wherever it is not appropriate to run off as sometimes there are workers with big trolleys, or older people that might get bowled over, but if she wants you could go to a park instead and play that type of game.

If she does run off what will she then do. What if you just leave her and go to the door to wait?

One of the young guys I worked with did something similar and most staff members would chase after him. Luckily he wasn't too fast so they caught him fairly quickly. I discovered that if I just left him and waved goodbye and started walking the other way he would quickly regret running off and come quickly back to me. Only issue was he didn't have any road safety awareness so I couldn't do it near a road, but if it was safe to do I would so he quickly found out it wasn't worth his while doing it when he was with me.

Fireflyaway

My daughter used to do this. If we went out, whether to a soft play centre, shops or park etc. It was usually when she didn't want to leave. You would get within reach and she would run! Once we had learned this would happen, we insisted that she hold hands from when we said we were leaving until we got into the car. It was met with protest at first but then just became habit and it worked. 
Would your daughter understand if you explain that this behaviour potentially dangerous? Or babyish? Some kids would never want to appear babyish!  I suppose it's quite funny to her but you need to let her see it's not going to get the reaction she hopes. You will know if it's safe to ignore it, explain its dangerous or reward her for not doing it might work, depending on her ability. 

TiaLomax754

Fireflyaway said:

My daughter used to do this. If we went out, whether to a soft play centre, shops or park etc. It was usually when she didn't want to leave. You would get within reach and she would run! Once we had learned this would happen, we insisted that she hold hands from when we said we were leaving until we got into the car. It was met with protest at first but then just became habit and it worked. 
Would your daughter understand if you explain that this behaviour potentially dangerous? Or babyish? Some kids would never want to appear babyish!  I suppose it's quite funny to her but you need to let her see it's not going to get the reaction she hopes. You will know if it's safe to ignore it, explain its dangerous or reward her for not doing it might work, depending on her ability. 

She doesn't find it funny though.
Quick question, don't take this the wrong way, does your daughter have ASD?

TiaLomax754

pramsay13 said:

I don't have a child with autism but I used to work with young adults that did. 

If you chase them it turns it into a game which could reward the behaviour.

What is her understanding like? You could explain that sometimes in a shop or wherever it is not appropriate to run off as sometimes there are workers with big trolleys, or older people that might get bowled over, but if she wants you could go to a park instead and play that type of game.

If she does run off what will she then do. What if you just leave her and go to the door to wait?

One of the young guys I worked with did something similar and most staff members would chase after him. Luckily he wasn't too fast so they caught him fairly quickly. I discovered that if I just left him and waved goodbye and started walking the other way he would quickly regret running off and come quickly back to me. Only issue was he didn't have any road safety awareness so I couldn't do it near a road, but if it was safe to do I would so he quickly found out it wasn't worth his while doing it when he was with me.

She ONLY does it when she is having a ASD meltdown or isn’t happy with something and even then ONLY does it when I walk/move towards her.

I don't know what would happen if I didn't chase her, as I have always chased her.

TiaLomax754

My daughter is awake now so I am going to try and talk to her and see if she knows why she does it.

TiaLomax754

When I spoke to her she said that she doesn’t even know she does it sometimes as when she is having a meltdown she can’t control herself sometimes. She also said that she gets confused as she “can’t think properly” and doesn’t know “whether it is time to play with mummy and run as mummy comes towards her” when she is having a meltdown. She also said that she feels like she has no control over what she does when she is having a meltdown or isn’t happy with something.

To be honest I don’t even think she knows herself most of the time that she has done it.

She also does it when she isn’t happy with something and I come towards here and same when she is having a meltdown so I think she is trying to tell me something when she does it to be honest.

She only does it when she is having a meltdown or when she isn’t happy with something. Even then she only does it when I walk/move towards her.

Has anyone got any more advice?

Thank you so much.

Savvy_Sue

If it's possible to not move directly towards her, would that help? I know it depends on the situation, but if you don't head directly to her, but to a point six feet to one side of her, is that less threatening for her? And then circle behind ... 

TiaLomax754

Savvy_Sue said:

If it's possible to not move directly towards her, would that help? I know it depends on the situation, but if you don't head directly to her, but to a point six feet to one side of her, is that less threatening for her? And then circle behind ... 

I know what you mean but, if I even move more then one-three feet closer to her, she runs.

pramsay13

What does a meltdown entail?

If she just wants a bit of space then just let her do that and wait for her by the door.

If there's a risk she will hit out or damage something / herself then maybe you can't let her run off, but in that situation do you see it coming and can therefore distract her, or hold her hand until you know it has passed?

Fireflyaway

TiaLomax754 said:

Fireflyaway said:

My daughter used to do this. If we went out, whether to a soft play centre, shops or park etc. It was usually when she didn't want to leave. You would get within reach and she would run! Once we had learned this would happen, we insisted that she hold hands from when we said we were leaving until we got into the car. It was met with protest at first but then just became habit and it worked. 
Would your daughter understand if you explain that this behaviour potentially dangerous? Or babyish? Some kids would never want to appear babyish!  I suppose it's quite funny to her but you need to let her see it's not going to get the reaction she hopes. You will know if it's safe to ignore it, explain its dangerous or reward her for not doing it might work, depending on her ability. 

She doesn't find it funny though.
Quick question, don't take this the wrong way, does your daughter have ASD?

That's different then. My daughter used to laugh and think it was one big game. No my daughter isn't ASD but I am Autistic. However I'm obviously much older than your daughter! 
How does she respond if you ask her to come to you rather than you approaching her? Does she have something to take with her when she is out so it can distract / calm her when she gets anxious? I remember the worst place for me as a child was electrical stores, like Currys ! I could hear and smell the electric and got an instant headache from the lights. I used to bite the inside of my mouth and pick the skin off my thumbs. I mention this because have you noticed it happens more in certain places? If your daughter took a toy out for example, could you say that you need to speak to (toys name) ? Then she could bring said toy. I've seen some kids react well to that because it takes the focus / pressure off them.