Missy’s family of 4, paying off debts, saving for a house and just trying to survive!

MagicCat

Glad you're ok @missymoo81, it's really difficult when things are so busy. Sorry to hear about the situation with your ex and maintenance, it does seem unfair that the non resident parent can just stop paying while the resident parent has to pay for food and housing whatever their situation is. Hope you can work something out.

missymoo81

Just at the Rec with the children. It’s so quiet! 

So I’m going to try and update as much as I can whilst everyone is having a lovely time.

So I’ve absolutely fallen off the wagon with food shopping and spending. I’ve needed some new clothes for work, and I’ve been nipping in the shop for top up shops and had to buy a new paddling pool as the old one broke. 

Ended up paying half of the vets bill from the cat and we’ve booked a week in Wales for the end of August so paid half of that. 

But I am working and some money is coming in, I just need to work out where money has gone and what accounts I’ve taken it from and try and get back on track!

Food has gone out of control and I’ve started to put weight on so need to curb that as I’m not doing as many classes I can’t eat the same amount as before. 

We’ve had porridge for breakfast today, I made a picnic for the children for the park and I think we’ll have chicken stew for dinner, I might even make a cake and some bread (how that’s going to help my diet I don’t know!) but will be fun.

Had to make a statement with the police earlier in the week, had to break up a fight with the neighbours, it was a noise complaint that then got out of Control! Me and OH are now questioning whether we actually want to live here, as there’s been several other annoyances over the past few months. I’d love to live more in the country as we live on a housing estate, but it all comes down to money at the end of the day! Hence why I need to get this spending back on track!

Positives of the last week:
business has picked up which is great! So come September I should be making money properly! 

I’ve got 2 private clients that are now paying £25 each a week. 

I’ve had some lovely time with the children and new paddling pool has given them hours of fun. It was £29.99 from Lidl and is amazing! Although had really weird valves and I had to blow it up by mouth! Which took quite a while!
I’ve found a new washing powder which is cheaper and I think smells good so no fabric conditioner needed.

Tomatoes are growing, only 3 but still small things! 

OH had ordered me a new washing line which I’m so happy about! (Sad I know)
Managed go watch a film on a free trial that we’d wanted to watch for ages! Very happy about that!
OH has been A LOT happier and relaxed and nowhere near as stressed. Which is amazing, and we even managed a really nice day at the beach for 5 hours and he splashed about in the water with the children and basically had an amazing time. So obviously the stress was just getting to him. 

So I’m going to try and sit and work out money now and come up with a plan. I’ve been trying to keep up with diaries but failing. So will try and have a read through shortly. Thanks so much for reading.

RobM99

My experience with child support (Child Support Agency years ago), money was automatically deducted from my wages. I couldn't get out of it.

RobM99

"OH had ordered me a new washing line which I’m so happy about!"
Crikey, slow down, you don't want to burn yourself out! 

missymoo81

Oooh other positives:
I won £100 on the premium bonds
and I’ve managed to cash out £35 of amazon vouchers on Swagbucks and I’m up to about £12 on prolific.

obv there has been plenty of negatives, but I’m really trying to not focus on them.
but in answer to your question. You don’t have to have child maintenance taken from your wages anymore, and there’s no such thing as the CSA. Ex is a massive tw@ considering he earns 100k a year, the £450 is obviously beyond him, but anyway. I’m not getting cross about it. 

Oh and There’s always something to buy isnt there, at the park today Roo came along as he was in pain as his trainers were too small 🙄🙄 so that’s another £23!

Washing line isn’t quite up yet Rob so I can’t get too excited!

Cheery_Daff

Ooh, exciting premium bonds win there Missy!! Well done! 

Less exciting on the ex though, how very vexing. I well remember the times my dad supposedly couldn't afford maintenance payments when we were kids, and the look on my mum's face when she realised she'd have to do without it that week. That was only £20 back in them days, but I remember going round the supermarket with her while she added up to £8 so twenty quid was a big deal. And your ex sounds like he can well afford it! 

But as you say, let's focus on the cheerful things!

missymoo81

Thanks for popping over cheery, so lovely to see you! It is really hard, I’d banked on that money, especially with trainers and school uniforms to buy! Not sure how to enforce it though?!

AnywayC this afternoon some friends popped round so I didn’t make bread but I did my online session which is £25 a time, so happy about that. 

Just sat with OH will look at money when he plays on the computer. 

Bluegreen143

@missymoo81 so sorry your ex is being an !!!!!! about money! It’s so frustrating and totally beyond me how some people think contributing to their child is optional! It’s not like you can (or ever would) go “oh well your dad hasn’t paid so I just won’t feed you or buy you clothes this month” 🙄 My dad was an !!!!!! about this when I was a child too and actually never really paid regular maintenance, it was very ad hoc (my mum never took him to the CSA or anything and says she just counted anything she got as a bonus rather than budgeting with it). I still have a relationship with my and he has improved heaps as he’s aged but it did take a toll when I was younger. I asked my stepdad to walk me down the aisle as I felt I wasn’t confident my dad would definitely come to the wedding which I think did hurt him but he was understanding about it too that he had brought it on himself. Anyway not to ramble but just to say I understand and your kids will know when they are older who has always been there for them!

missymoo81

Thanks BlueGreen. It’s crazy how some people’s minds work isn’t it. Thank you all for your understanding and kind words.

So! I have actually sat down and done my number crunching! Insert round of applause here..... 

soooooo I have sat and worked everything out and I should be back on track. Although have worked it out on ex paying as he should!  So I just need to make sure this month I don’t spend any more than £140 on shopping. I can pay back all of my spends I’ve taken out of my house deposit account and build my emergency fund back up.

Ive allowed £100 for all the extra things I need to get this month. And I’ve cashed out my prolific so I’ve got about ££113. And I’ve had a look at different websites but I should be able to get Roos  t-shirts along with May’s tights, need to check if she has T-shirts actually.....From TU for £27 have found I can get Roo some trainers and some sandals (For next year)  for £30! I was just going to get trainers but then I was going to have to pay postage so I just had a look and they have boys sandals on offer too! The trainers on their own should be £25 but with all the discounts and free shipping it’s all in for £30! Just need to check the sizes as have never bought this make before. 

Managed to get OH some cheap protein as is half price and like a meal replacement so should really help him. That was £19. Roos 4 school emblem jumpers are £37, so that pretty much makes up the £113.

I’m also trying to sort the food shop. I’ve got £140 left for the month. But we’re going away at the end of the month for a week in Wales self catering in a cottage and I know we’ll eat and drink more than normal, as it’s OH’s birthday and our first anniversary! I need to get some shopping around Wednesday next week too and some top up bits in between. Not sure if the money will stretch that far but I have some Clubcard vouchers which should help. But that is my plan! So before Wednesday, I’ll need to buy some more bread and maybe squash, some peppers for chilli, I can make tuna pasta bake as I have everything and I can make stew as we didn’t have it tonight. 

So bread, squash, peppers, bananas maybe some spinach. But I’ll use some left over cash Money to buy those. So if I try and spend £40 next Wednesday For ten days and £100 for our week away, but that’s to include all food, alcohol and OH’s birthday present. So going to have a look in a minute and see how far I can stretch everything.

I still need to dye my hair.... I’m so worried about it after last time but not paying the hair dresser £65 to do it! OH needs to help as it’s ombré and I don’t want to get the wrong bits at the back! 

As for the emergency fund. I’m just going to throw money at it as and when as I’m super worried about Ex being made redundant. I should hopefully have £750 in it at the end of the month. 

Ok I think that’s me updated! Feel better now I’ve written it all down! 

missymoo81

I’ve just had a look at my incomings and I’m about £80 short as I was looking at an email for OH’s account not mine! V annoying. But I haven’t done anything with the winnings from premium bonds so that will make up the difference. 

 

So today, I’m at work at 2- 11pm need to prob go to Macro before hand as running out of all cleaning supplies for work. I’ve only got around 5 hours sleep so I’m not sure how today will go! 

Need to do some washing at some point but may save it for tomorrow after OH has put the washing line up. Can’t wait for tomorrow evening when we don’t have work until tuesday, although we need to drive for 3 hours each way to get the truck serviced on Monday. Not sure what we’re going to do for the 3 hours it’s going to take! Going to google coffee shops in the area and hopefully get some work done!