Living in Probate House, brother being threatening.

Meyor

BrassicWoman said:

Meyor said:

I have not had any impact to his life at all. He still has his girlfriend even though we are in lockdown. As mentioned it is a large house and they mostly stay in his room..I stay in mother's old room. Also he is hardly ever here..goes out to wherever in the mornings and comes back high around midnight. There has been no changes to his life despite my being here as I do not get involved in his at all.

I live alone. It suits me. I've lived alone for years. I like the quiet.

If I were in the biggest mansion, me in one wing, and you in the other, your being there would irritate me. Especially if you had just rocked up, uninvited. Double especially if you spent your entire time disapproving of me. This isn't the case for you - you are sharing a bathroom! And a kitchen! Your concept of a "big house" is pretty weird if there's one kitchen and bathroom.  

Whether you - who is used to living with people - think you are being selfish or not; you are certainly being oblivious.

Move out, leave him in peace until you can sort the estate properly.

You can only speak for yourself

It's a large 4 bed family house with a very large kitchen (loads of cupboards, Large American sized fridge which I bought for my mother), two living areas which are currently unused plus a large cellar and actually two bathrooms  in zone 2 London. Most of the houses of a similar type are now tenanted by 4 or 5 students or have been turned into flats.

I also have my own life to deal with and haven't got time to disapprove of his. He is entitled to choose his own path in life.

He also doesn't have to invite me. it is the home that I grew up in. Out of courtesy, I told him I was coming to stay.

I would understand your point if this was a person living quietly by themselves or with a family, paying their bills without any help from his siblings but that is indeed not the case. As mentioned, his main issue is that I am not 'helping him'...meaning I am not a soft touch for his money requests. (He has complained to my other siblings about this) This is why he has started to try and intimate and threaten me in my own family home. 

pinkshoes

How much would the house be worth when done up?

I would write a letter to your brother stating that he has a X% share in the house as it is owned equally between all siblings. State that when the house is done up, it will be worth around £X, so his share would be £X.

State that the house now needs to be sold, so his cooperation will be appreciated. State that if he refuses to cooperate, then any legal costs incurred due to this will be deducted from his share of the estate. 

Money talks... You might want to also point out how much he owes in council tax, and state that if he cooperates, this debt will be forgotten, but any refusal to cooperate will see his debt deducted from his share.

Good luck!

pearl123

Meyor said:

getmore4less said:

Beginning to look like one of the motivations to not sorting out the estate is to control his money.
Letting the council tax get to a charging order after 4 years, the billing should have been checked as part of the administration much sooner.

Myself and my siblings are all gainfully employed in professional careers and own our own properties. In fact I own two. 

If you own two houses, why are you in your Mums room. Trying to keep out of the way. 
I would suggest you speak to your brother, perhaps early in the morning before he's hit all the drugs.  Tell him, exactly the situation regarding who owns the house. I suggest a sensible approach at present, due to the added stress of the pandemic. 
Clearly, after 9 years probate should be done. If the property is valuable there could be some tax issues. 

Norman_Castle

his main issue is that I am not 'helping him'...meaning I am not a soft touch for his money requests. (He has complained to my other siblings about this) This is why he has started to try and intimate and threaten me in my own family home. 

Lie to him. Explain your husband has frozen your accounts. The siblings, no one else, need to have a meeting at the home to agree and explain together the house will be sold. Would his share buy a property for him? Clearly you are all concerned for his welfare, arranging where he can move to is realistically all you can do. Spend your time there preparing the house for sale preferably with regular visible help from the other siblings.

Tell the girlfriend to mind her own business. Police involvement in the form of a visit might control his behaviour, contact them on 101 explaining the situation and ask if they are willing to get involved.