It's time to begin.....

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry to read that your weekend has been tough with your OH’s comments.

Hope the rest rest of your week goes well. 

Kakiste

All deadlines met! (Even with an additional piece of paperwork dropped on me today at the last minute) I've a bit of marking and filing to do tomorrow morning before school but by 9am I'll be done with all schoolwork for the year. 

Next two days should be hectic but nice. 

I'm hoping my Tesco voucher turns up before the weekend as I'd like to go out on Sat or Sun and buy all the non-fresh stuff so I only need to brave the supermarkets briefly on the morning of the 23rd. Plus the kid really wants crackers, for which she's writing extra jokes!.

My friend is round tonight so we're going to finalise what we're eating for Christmas day/Boxing day and make a shopping list. 

enthusiasticsaver

It sounds like things are particularly difficult with your OH at the moment.  I would be saving every spare penny in an account he has no access to so you have a moving fund should you need to for you and your DD.  

Kakiste

He doesnt have any access to any of my accounts. 
He has calmed down significantly since last weekend's nastiness so seems to be back to normal.

Lookafterthepennies2020

I had to laugh at as long as it took your socks to dry off, I'm presuming home time came first lol  sorry you had it rough at the weekend, my relationship with oh went through a very up and down patch for most of last year and it can be very draining, and sometimes it's even worse when you get used to the pattern. Glad things are on the up and hopefully this continues over Xmas until you can decide where your at moving forward x 

Kakiste

Yes the day ended at 4.29pm for both of them. However they were absolute angels the following day so feel vindicated there. 

He's back in a !!!!!! mood again this evening after being OK since Monday (deadline of doom approaches this Sat which I think isn't helping)  

His big stick to metaphorically beat me with at the moment is that i won't emigrate with him(!) His argument is that;
I caused the situation we're now in by making individual decisions without giving him the heads up that i was even facing decisions and if I'd just told him then the situation we're now in wouldn't be anywhere near as bad. (i acknowledge and appreciate that this is all true) 
So now he knows everything I wont agree to emigrate even though he thinks it will make him feel loads better and remove a load of stress he's under and give us a "fresh start." So he still thinks I'm trying to "call all the shots even though I made all the rubbish ones in the first place and now i'm holding him to ransom in the UK"

My thoughts on it that are that 1) I don't want to emigrate and whilst it may not be 'fair' I don't have to move mine and my daughter's life abroad just because he's decided he wants to
2) I absolutely don't want to be cut off from my friends and family abroad with only him as my adult support network
3) It's absolutely not fair on my daughter 
4) Its a world pandemic and this is the start of significant economic downturn globally. I don't think I even /could/ get a job abroad right now, I imagine it would be super difficult to emigrate at this moment in time and  I think it would be insanity to leave an incredibly stable job in a really stable sector where i've just got a payrise.

All of that is very by the by as I'm flatly not emigrating. One of the things that he's most angry at is that I'm flatly refusing to say i'm considering it. After all the deception that went on, one of the things I promised in Feb 2019 was that I would be honest in even really difficult situations and he's now angry that i'm keeping to that. But saying that i'll consider moving abroad is a total lie, I know I wont do it so I'm not going to lie and mess his head about even if its the more difficult route (which is what we agreed)

Lookafterthepennies2020

Better to be upfront and honest saying you will consider it to pacify him would probably just get him more set on the idea, then a bigger blow when you said no.  
I think there must be something in the water atm, oh slept on the sofa yesterday as he had a blazing row with himself over the fact that instead of cooking and cleaning all day on my day off like a good little wife, I had spent the majority of the day wrapping the kids Xmas presents whilst they were at school. Which apparently is childish and selfish and should be the last on my list of things to do, as I wasnt biting he then went and slept on the sofa. Oh no, a bed to myself how ever will I cope? 

Kakiste

@Lookafterthepennies2020 That sucks. Its horrible when there's an atmosphere isn't it? Especially when you know that you've done nothing wrong.

Lookafterthepennies2020

Nothing is going to dampen my week to go until Xmas spirit lol, I think I'm probably very much like u and have learned how to block it out and carry on until it blows over x

Kakiste

Yep. I'm playing the mid-long game here. Its worth another year of this to have a completely fresh start with all the resources at my disposal