It's time to begin.....

[Deleted User]

All that sounds great Kakiste, except for the going back on your own and telling him you are leaving. You can text him/ leave voice mail while he’s at his hobby, leave a note by kettle ( if you haven’t taken it!) just to let him know you have gone and that you and daughter are ok. If you somehow feel you have to see him in person than bring someone with you to stand just outside door, within hearing distance and with direct access to a mobile phone. Wishing you all the very best, you have come this far, so another week or however long it takes will be worth it for the end result of freedom.x

enthusiasticsaver

Good you have a plan and sounds very methodical. Keep you and your daughter safe above everything else but from the sound of things he is emotionally rather than physically abusive. 

warby68

I'm another checking in with everything crossed and wishing the very best for your new life.

How you are managing to be so organised and patient, I don't know.

I wish I could press a fast forward button for you to get to the good bit.

Keep safe above everything

GeorgianaCavendish

Good luck with everything Kakiste. I agree with Deleted_User  - you don't owe him a conversation about this. Leave a note or a voicemail and get somewhere safe. You can arrange a sit down with back-up at a later date. 

It might be a surprise to him, but during one of the many many many long conversations he's demanded where he goes on and on about your supposed faults, he could have turned some of that attention on himself to see where things went wrong. You don't owe him any more of your time, and his ranting and reactions are not your problem any more. 

Or at least have someone with you, even if just outside the door. 

Four_Seasons

Good luck, I totally agree with other posters please just leave a note if not definately have someone nearby, I am coming from experience things dont always pan out as we have planned.  This is the start of a big adventure for you and your daughter your new house sounds lovely and I am sure you will both be very happy there.
Thinking of you xx

Makingabobor2

Only recently discovered your diary. I have now subscribed to wish you all the best of luck. You seem to be so very organised with all this, hope it goes well for you. I have to agree with others, don't go back by yourself to talk to him. Leave him a note, or a voice mail. If you really feel you have to speak to him, take someone else with you.  
I did a similar thing with my ex, and when I went back to speak to him, he just sat on the stairs begging me not to leave and saying he would tell me he loved me every day if only I would stay...mmm, don't think so. 

Good luck.

Kakiste

Ok. Will ask a friend to wait outside then. 

New neighbour is going to wait until she has days off at the weekend to move most of her stuff as she's on nights this week. So it won't be Saturday. 

Daughter is with my dad today- her school is closed due to striking. She was still asleep when I left at 8am!  

Humdinger1

Thanks @Kakiste.  You are strong and capable and we all want the best for you.  Many of our concerns are coming from people having been in your situation.   

One question:  what's happening about post redirection? If takes a few days to kick in, from memory.  Are you expecting anything crucial shortly? Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Kakiste

Absolutely nothing- both my bank cards were due to expire in April so I pre-emptively ordered new ones to my current address which have already arrive and are now expiring in 2026. I don't get any bank/work/pension/car stuff through the post- I moved to entirely online statements and phone contact a few years ago.

I've made a big list of people to contact next week to tell them I've moved and give them my new home address and I'll start doing that as soon as I have the key to the cottage and the privacy to do so, It's in a notebook at work listed by priority so I'll start with the council, work, banks, utilities, HMRC, doctors etc and then work my way down to the lower priority stuff like opticians. 

Humdinger1

As ever, you are ahead of the game @Kakiste! Wonderful!