SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain

@Sistergold, thank you for your supportive words.  I do regularly stand back and look at the house and garden and pinch myself that I have managed to keep it.  DD desperately wanted to stay here and I did it primarily for her but I'm so glad now that I did.  I'm looking forward to my next overpayment on payday as it will take me below £122k and each month the interest figure reduces by almost £1

Sistergold

@Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain, a reduction of £1 a month is an impressive reduction! Very soon the interest per month will be negligible! Xx

Sistergold

Good morning ladies
Just wanting to catch up with you all. Yesterday it was raining ☔️ heavily in my parts of London. Because of the unpredictable British weather I generally try to take children to school in the morning but due to work they come back by themselves. At least if I take them to school they are dry even if they might get wet on their way back. 

All this talk of the viral infection and deaths due to covid going up are causing me a bit of worry as it’s looking like we will be dealing with this problem for a long time. Had the vaccine and we thought that should “sort it” reasonably but now we are quickly talking of needing a booster.  Well we just need to pray now for a miracle. With all this I will now need to go back to wearing my mask consistently and keeping an eye to social distance! 

Next week is half term this end and children are going to their dads for the week. It will be a bit lonely and it always feels strange when they are not here. I thought I would have gotten used to these moments when they are not here but it affects me each time. Well I will later need to also get used to them flying the nest I guess. I do always find useful things to do when they are not here and in-fact I normally end up going to stay at my friend’s and going to work from there. 

Two days ago I ordered sone garage shelving which should arrive today. I hope to pack everything away from the floor so that things are easy to find and also so that less space is occupied. I rummaged through the garage to throw away whatever I could as it’s staff I have not needed for two years now. I did manage to throw away a full car load so that was good. The garage is looking less cluttered already. If shelving come today I will assemble it and pack away and hopefully throw away more staff. After that I will see if I need to buy another shelve. 

On Tuesday I also did a bit of gardening as flowers are now dying as going into cold  seasons soon. So cleared the garden of dying plants and went to the dumpster with full car load of garden waste. So did two trips to the recycle Center. The booking system to go to the dumpster is quite good now with slots easily available. I generally booked a slot once the car was full but I remember at some point in this covid I had to book a slot days in advance due to lack of availability. 

I watched a lady on YouTube, staying in a tiny house, well it was not as tiny as tiny houses go but it was tiny by American standards. She said “ she treats her place as she would if it was a place to rent out like an air b&b as that helps her keep everything minimal and tidy”. I felt that was quite a good mental attitude to look at my house to help reduce what I have. So I want to look at what I would keep if I needed to rent out the place and see how I can help use that mentality to decluttering some more. 

Working very hard not to go ahead with the new kitchen but I must say I have moments when I really want to just go ahead and do it! Sometimes wanting the new kitchen is like so strong but hey. I will control myself though as I want to do it when product supply chains and tradesmen availability moves to some kind of normal that way it will be easier to have a good kitchen done. 

I am actually not going to work today. I want to fill out some continuing professional development(CPD). I will also spend the day to do some tidying up around the house. I will also just rest. 

Well a lot written today let me get on with my day I guess? 

Tara for now! 😘 

Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain

Sistergold said:

Next week is half term this end and children are going to their dads for the week. It will be a bit lonely and it always feels strange when they are not here. I thought I would have gotten used to these moments when they are not here but it affects me each time. Well I will later need to also get used to them flying the nest I guess. I do always find useful things to do when they are not here and in-fact I normally end up going to stay at my friend’s and going to work from there. 

I find it odd when DD goes to her fathers, luckily its not very often these days as his interests are elsewhere. Just try and focus on other things and maybe throw in a few treats or pampering time for yourself, things you couldn't do if the children were home.  DD will be heading off to Uni next year, the last one to fly the nest and the first time in almost 30 years I will be child free!  I am excited for her, will miss her like crazy but it will also be good for myself and OH to have some time and space for us.

Life never stands still.

MvTMM

Sistergold

Thanks @Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain, I do need to find more ways to pamper myself. I do try to enjoy myself in a way and going away is one of those ways for now I guess as when they are here I stay home if not at work. When they are not here it means I can go out and sleep out as it were. I do feel sad but by the time they come back I would have enjoyed myself. Like you said it does just feel strange and I kind of have to find my bearings as it were. It’s almost like wearing a different hat, like okay kids are not here what should I do to have some fun! Like being bipolar, one personality with the children and someone different when they are not here. 

Four children means I now don’t remember a life without them! I do know that when they finally all go to make their own way I will definitely re-invent myself and I am sure it will be a bit strange when they do visit? Maybe when they visit from their own homes I will be wondering when they will be going as I will be more used to being on my own? 

Anyone here with children who have all flown the nest? Does it feel a bit strange when they come to visit? Something to find out I guess? Xx

Zulu_Dawn

Hi,

I've not read all the thread but have enjoyed zipping through it.  You sound amazing.  Well done on all that you have achieved.  I am married but our two children have now just about flown the nest.  In truth, we are loving it.  You tend to see them only when they are happy to see you.  There is always so much to talk about.  You can relive old memories.  It's great.  However we are very lucky in that they are both close by and we see a lot of them.  We've also found that our two often come over at the same time as they want to see each other so it is like the "band reforming".  Also when they do leave, your shopping bill goes down, your house is tidy again and calm descends.  So in short, I can recommend it.

Sistergold

Hello @Zulu_Dawn and welcome to this thread. Thanks for the input with regards to children flying the nest. I can definitely see how it will be easier to keep the house tidy with them gone! I can also see how enjoyable it will be to catch up with them and also see how I will need to look past the disorder their visit will cause! With four children no matter what some of them don’t care about being tidy! Both my sons if I don’t insist I will find breakfast, lunch and dinner plate all in the lounge! When I point it out they always look surprised that the plates are still there! Xx

Felicityfandangle

Good morning Ladies 😊
So I have my job offer subject to health screening and dbs check. I'm a bit concerned about the health check as I've been on medication for anxiety/depression off and on for donkeys years, so I'm not quite home and dry yet. I haven't had any time off sick since divorce number 2 which was about 10 years ago and I'd like to hope that employers are a bit more aware/forgiving of mental health issues especially since covid. I suppose I'll find out soon enough. 
@Sistergold I raised 2 daughters on my own. They flew the nest quite a number of years ago. These days I have a whole bunch of grandchildren that are a constant source of delight and I love my relationships with my daughters now, as adults, although it's probably fair to say the transition was tricky and living with 2 teenage girls was definitely not fun for a while. It was still awful when they moved out but it might have been less so if I'd realised that I was a very long way from the end of my parenting duties and how much I would enjoy them later on. There's still so much and more to look forward to once they are fledged and you'll be so busy with helping them find their feet (/wings) you won't have time to be sad for long! 
xx

Sistergold

@Felicityfandangle, congratulations on the job offer! Don’t worry, employers are very understanding of mental health issues and most are quite supportive! Most of us struggle with some form of depression or issue of some sort! Life is just so challenging it will be quite quite unfortunate to judge and not support! 

Thanks for the input regards children flying the nest, you are right there will be grandchildren to look forward to. One just have to evolve and enjoy each phase I guess? Xx

LadyWithAPlan

Sistergold said:

Both my sons if I don’t insist I will find breakfast, lunch and dinner plate all in the lounge! When I point it out they always look surprised that the plates are still there! Xx

It sounds like you need that fence gnome to run around in the house