April 2020 - loss of loved one and dealing with aftermath...

cbrown372

I'd be inclined to let the local police and council know that the house will be empty and locked up for the forseeable future so they can keep an eye on things?

hb2

OP, I am so sorry for your loss. A difficult time, made worse - as so many things are - by the current situation

74jax

I can't thank everyone enough. When dad died I found everyone so accommodating, yet in the unprecedented and sad situation we are all in, the compassion shown is overwhelming.

I spoke to the solicitor who will post mams Will to me, understanding I can't get the death cert yet. I've emailed water (fantastic advice on here regarding that), sorted house insurance, emailed dad's pension schemes who were paying spousal payments to mam, emailed BT, looked at TV licence (which turns out I don't need to do anything with) and spoken with funeral director.

Again the FD was brilliant, we are looking at next week one day for an interment. Picked coffin, no flowers (no florist), sorted death notice, looking at getting mams jewellery back from hospital, looked at a route to cemetery where mam can pass a few familiar places, sorted out grave number.... I feel I've really accomplished something today when yesterday I felt.... hopeless maybe....

I just need to drop an email to the police station to let them know the house is empty as suggested on here, and that's me done for today. 

Gers

Don't forget about Royal Mail redirection for post - I posted the link on the other thread.  It's an essential.

Hope you get things sorted soon.

74jax

Gers said:

Don't forget about Royal Mail redirection for post - I posted the link on the other thread.  It's an essential.

Hope you get things sorted soon.

Thank you, I need the death cert for that but I have the form ready to proceed. 

74jax

So, it's the burial today. It's a gorgeous spring day and I'm wearing a new pink (shock, horror) dress as pink was mams favourite colour.

I will drive over at 11.30, takes about 2hrs, I have an email from the funeral director in case I'm stopped by police for driving. We hope mam can leave from outside the house, and then arrive at the cemetery for 2pm. Not sure how she gets from the car to the graveside, my brother is unable to do a lift so perhaps a trolly?

My brother is saying a few words, we will say the Lords Prayer and she will be lowered.

I have created a lovely pink order of service, just because she doesn't get a church service she shouldn't miss out.... I've had to be inventive with what I put on it, but it works and something to send to family.

We have created what we can of the video. Her grandson introducing the video, some film of her street and the house, we will add in a short film of the car leaving the street and around the grave later, we have her granddaughter introducing the song Supermarket Flowers and have photos of mam growing up, then me introducing the song Hope you Dance and photos of mam and dad, and it ends on her great grandchild playing. I think the family who don't get to spend today with us will love it.

Had some problems in that her wedding ring and necklace have been misplaced at the hospital, still awaiting death certificate so still can't close anything down but for now we are as prepared as we can be.

Cemetery is allowing her children and grandchildren to be graveside, each stood within their households.

I managed to buy some Easter Wreaths which I have adapted and look good and are personal so we do have flowers (florists in town were shut). I also got a rainbow windmill which we can put in the ground - ever adapting to the circumstances we have...... 

Gers

What a lovely thing you have put together - I know it'll all go well.

badger09

@74jax

Virtual hugs and hope it all went as well as you deserve. The death of a parent is a horrible thing to go through in 'normal' times and these are far from normal. You have given your mam the best send off you you possibly could, which all we can ever hope to do for our loved ones.

Take care of yourself

cbrown372

@74jax I will think of you at 2.00 and love the idea of you wearing pink.

hb2

I hope that everything went smoothly for you today.

My Mum specified that she didn't want people wearing black to her funeral, so OP wearing pink doesn't fill me with horror at all.