Divorce, Spousal Support and Division of Assets
edited 6 April at 9:03AM in MoneySaving Mums
15 replies 881 views
Hi, I hope this is the right part of the forum that I should post.
I'm 34, I've been with my Husband (38yo) over 12yrs, married for only 20mths, and have a 9mth old baby together. Recently I have found out, he has been lying and cheating behind my back throughout this relationship (I believe it has not got sexual, but I know he has sought after sex). I don't want to go into much detail but I still wish to keep it amicable for the sake of our Daughter.
So he earns around £72k per annum, but throughout the year, he would work extra shifts to boost his income (each shift can fetch between £500-£1000). I will return back to work end of July (if all plans out well), and will reduce my full time work to 4 days, my income will drop from £41k to £33k.
My Daughter will spend 2 days at nursery costing £92pw, and 2 days at my Mum's. His Parents live abroad, and usually visit each year for 3 months at a time. I feel my Mum's time should be compensated if we are divorced. My Mum is 58, and is a full time carer for my disabled Dad who is 78. So it's a lot on her to look after my Grandchild 2 full days a week.
Before I went on mat leave, we both subscribed into the joint account (him £800, me £600) to pay for joint bills. And throughout the relationship, I've always paid my own way through. Whilst I've been on mat leave, I do not put into joint account, and he has put in £1800 to cover for all of us. We separately put in £200pm into her account, which we use for her clothing, one off purchases etc. I have been using my own mat leave money to pay for myself such as lunches out, clothing etc.
CURRENT AND FUTURE HOUSING SITUATION
We've lived together for 5yrs. Bought for £180k in 2014 (4 bed terraced), worth around £250k. Last Dec, his Parents gifted HIM the money to pay off the joint mortgage, around £118k. And from our joint account, we pay them back at £660pm, for the next 15years - interest free.
Ideally, I would move nearer to my Parents', and for a 4 bed detached, I'm looking at £230k (needs doing up) - £250k (little work). A 3 bed detached FYI is around £200k, but this would mean a very small house.
We have a flat in his name only, mortgage is in his name, Asset worth around £150k, mortgage around £90k. This is a 3 way investment with us and his Dad. I spoke to a solicitor, and we would only look at the net asset value of £60k. I have put in around £16k, I was thinking of asking for 50% of this, as I would lose out on the income of this which is £775pm / 3 ways.
In UK, I have more savings than him, he has other savings abraod, so if we look at bigger picture, he has much more than me. I just want to keep what is mine.
He has an NHS pension, and I was not going to ask for anything on this.
I understand Child Maintenance is calculated separately, but I'm not sure how much spousal support I should ask for? I'm working a day less, to look after our Daughter, on the basis that our lifestyle could be maintained. And we will both save on a day's nursery too.
So far, I've got
1 day's nursery £46*52wks = £2392/2ppl = £1196/12mths = £99.67pm
1 day less at my work = £8264.41/2 = £4132.21/12mths = £344.35pm - I'm charging him half for me to drop my one day here.
Total: £444.02pm - not sure for how many years.
To conclude, I keep changing my mind as I'm still upset, but he is her Father at the end of the day (even though he doesn't really care - this is me being diplomatic about everything) and would like to remain amicable. At the moment, I'm thinking 60% (£150k) on house and 50% of the flat (£20k) and £450pm for spousal support, and then Child Maintenance on top (which is a given anyway).
Any advice welcome, I've been battling this over the lockdown period and it's consuming my life. We've had very brief discussions, and he's said 50/50 on house, he won't reveal anything about his flat, nor discuss what he should propose. I feel cheated if I'm honest £170k deposit, would still mean a £60k-£80k mortgage. I have savings of around £20k, so mortgage loan could be reduced to £40k-£60k, but it would mean I have no savings left.
Really, really pleading for any help I can get here. Thank you very much in advance.