A debt diary with a newly-aquired Yorkshire accent!

Milly1974

Hi Mccalls,

I really do like North Yorkshire, and would like to stay in the area, so I have been thinking that I need to convince the OH that staying is the best and easiest option.

and so the subterfuge begins....! :rotfl:

The two major sticking points to living here are my 3 hours a day of commuting, and that OH needs some friends nearer. So I have started properly looking for a new job. I had miscalculated my season ticket loan, and I now only have 4 payments left, not 5 as I thought I had, so that makes me about £250 better off than I thought I was! Can I add it to my £1000 challenge? :rotfl:

Also need to get OH out of the house and making friends. Not sure how best to do this, but I think £10 spent tonight at the local won't hurt the cause! Will also do my best to make sure he is out on Tuesday at one of his workmate's gigs in York.

Any suggestions anyone?

Milly x

Airwolf1

Without reading all of this (!!), where do you commute to? Are you living in a rural/semi-rural area, is it easy to make friends there? Are there lots of people about. Can he chat to his old friends on the pc etc?

Milly1974

Hi Airwolf!

Yeah, this is getting a bit long, but I've been adding to it for a year now. Probably the longest I have ever kept at something diary-related! I live in a village on the edge of the national park, so yes it is very rural. I commute to Leeds, which on a good day is a 3 hour round trip.

It hasn't been to hard to get chatting to people in the village, as they are all friendly and I have dragged OH into village activities. The only drawback, is that there is only one other person under 35 in the village, so age-mates are a real problem. There are a lot of retired people here, so unless OH wants to attend bingo at 2pm in the village hall, getting him meeting people isn't so easy.

He does see his mates relatively often over the summer as we go camping a lot with them, and sometimes speak to them on the phone or online. What he really misses though is being able to just nip round the corner and walk into a friends house, grab a drink, sit down and then say 'hi'. He has some very close and very long-standing friends, and it will take a long time to build friendships as sturdy as the ones he has had from his late teens.

Any suggestions from a male perspective (I assume, airwolf seems a blokey name to me!) would be very welcome.

M x

Airwolf1

Airwolf is a "blokey" name, yes - old TV program...

I used to live in Yorkshire (Pontefract area) and worked to the West of Leeds. I got married and the Mrs (who is 14 years younger than I) really missed her friends and family - so we're now in the Cambridgeshire area.

I used to see my mates often up in Yorkshire but its done by the phone now. It is manageable, and I've found other interests (online chess and scrabble!!) - as well as posting more on here.

A lot of people would probably be envious of where you live, however, the journey into work must be horrendous. Can't you move into a residential area nearer to Leeds? I know from Leeds, driving, you can be getting close towards the Yorkshire Dales in half an hour or so on a good day.

Milly1974

Just as I thought we were getting somewhere.

OH has lost his job ( :mad: ) and been signed off work/prescribed anti-depressants. So he will not be working until at least new year, and I am left to pick up the tab. I know it isn't entirely his fault, but it is still bloody annoying/frustrating/disappointing.

Do feel a bit bad that I hadn't twigged that the depression was creeping back. When I think about it, it was pretty obvious. Drinking more, sleeping less, being snappy, hating work and the general moodiness. Hope I can be forgiven as it is not something I have ever lived with before.

OH has been to the doctors today and been signed off work for two weeks to start with, and has started putting through a benefit claim, although I know next to nothing about that.

So the long and the short is, time to be stricter about money/outgoings again. Have already got in touch with nPower to reduce our electricity DD again. We are using about £60-70 of electric a month, but they will not lower the DD to less than £112. Now I just need to tackle the rest of the budget!

Need to reduce the food budget to £100 a month, and the same for the petrol. This will hopefully stop us from going further overdrawn. Grocery Challenge time!.

Milly1974

Going to try to keep a proper shopping tally if I can. Tesco seems to eat my money! Yesterday picked up 2.5k spuds, along with 1/2 price sausages and carrots, a sweet potato and some squash. Grand total of £4.61, but then also needed £10 cashback to cover £5 for a work collection and some stamps. My purse now contains £1.40 exactly.

Dinner last night was baked spuds with some blue cheese for me and cheesy beans for him. Tonight is bangers and mash. 1/2 price sausages for him, cheap veggie sausages from freezer for me, a mix of sweet and normal potato mash and some reduced carrots. Will (hopefully) also make up some bolognese tonight with leftover carrots, a couple of peppers lurking in the fridge, some soya mince, tinned toms and herbs to make lasagne/pasta type stuff for the freezer also.

Have my parents coming to stay on Saturday. We have booked to go to a restaurant on Saturday night, and now I just have my fingers crossed (so tightly that I have pins and needles!) that they will offer to pay!

Anyway, had best get back to work...

Milly1974

Time to update I think.

Did have bangers and mash on Thursday, then Friday we visited some friends for the evening. Just had a sandwich for dinner and then made lemon curd for christmas presents (£3.25 for 5 jars) Also bought loo roll and butter, so spent £11.19 on Friday night. Luckily, my parents did pay for Saturday night out. Used leftover eggs for saturday and sunday breakfasts.

Sent OH to shops on Saturday to get some basics, totalling £18 including sticky tape and some baking ingredients for presents. The temptation to brain him when he dragged in £21 of alcohol as well was strong, but since that is his money and not mine, I will resist for the moment. On one hand, I kind of hope that he will run out of money and stop being able to buy beer, but on the other hand I know that I need him to get back to work before I run out of money and cannot pay the rent.

The stupid thing is, he knows that we cannot even afford to eat while he isn't working, as I gave him a full breakdown of our bills the other day. How do I get it through his head? He has started to claim benefits, but it will take a while and isn't really a long term solution. The truth is that no matter what I do to reduce our outgoings, I need every penny he would have as IB/JSA in order to stop us being chucked out the house. I am not sure he has grasped that yet.

Milly1974

ps. sorry all for stream of consciousness negativity ramblings.

Airwolf1

Surely if he is on anti-depressants he shouldn't be having alcohol? That is what I got told 2/3 years ago - or just the odd glass of wine here and there.

Ember999

Hi Milly

Wow! I was browsing MSE and came across your thread by chance and started to read - from the beginning. Exactly 1 1/2 hours later (without even a break to make a cuppa, I was so engrossed) I have finished and am up to date. Your story is and has been quite fascinating. I think your BF is very lucky to have such a hard-working (that commute must kill you!) savvy lass. Life may be tough right now (sorry to hear he has lost his job, that sucks) but me thinks you will get through it and come out the other end smiling. To move cross county and to achieve what you have so far, you deserve a pat on the back.

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck on your journey through life. Hope things get better for you.

Happy Christmas!

PS. I've enjoyed your diary so much I have subscribed to your thread xx