Separation Finances

LilElvis

I was a similar age to you when I split with my ex, but I certainly hadn't given my life to him after 9 years together! Twenty years later and I've been with my husband 18 years, married nearly 14 and we have a daughter together - so I've managed to live most of my adulthood in a happy relationship. I refused to let one fool ruin my life!

LilElvis

Deleted. Stupid new site double posted with no mechanism to delete.

Savvy_Sue

comeandgo said:

For future relationships you could start your p and l on day one so that there is no financial surprise to either you or your future partners.

  That may slightly dampen the ardour of any new relationship ... 

I'm not saying you're wrong, just not sure it sends the best message of a loving and committed relationship!

comeandgo

Savvy_Sue said:

comeandgo said:

For future relationships you could start your p and l on day one so that there is no financial surprise to either you or your future partners.

  That may slightly dampen the ardour of any new relationship ... 

I'm not saying you're wrong, just not sure it sends the best message of a loving and committed relationship!

I totally agree with you but it was a suggestion for the OP who wants financial compensation when a relationship fails.

goodwithsaving

We've offered sound advice, I think you are still in the bitter phase. Understandable, but don't let it cloud your judgement.

So to be clear: legally - no, you are entitled to nothing. Morally - that's between the two of you.

Time and emotion isn't factored into anything. If it were, we'd all do well out of break-ups. 6 years isn't investing a whole life.

I won't marry because I don't want to suffer the splitting of assets again. If someone moved in for 6 years but wasn't on the deeds (which they wouldn't because I won't do that again), then they wouldn't get a penny if we separated. In return, they would have had no rent to pay for the duration of the relationship and should have saved at least part of that.

This board can't detail what is morally correct, only on legal because that's more black and white.

poppy10_2

goodwithsaving said:

This board can't detail what is morally correct, only on legal because that's more black and white.

Doesn't have to be black and white to offer an opinion, which is what she was asking for. She has acknowledged that the legal position is the only enforceable one but what's wrong with asking what would be reasonable? You've been unnecessarily harsh

74jax

poppy10_2 said:

goodwithsaving said:

This board can't detail what is morally correct, only on legal because that's more black and white.

Doesn't have to be black and white to offer an opinion, which is what she was asking for. She has acknowledged that the legal position is the only enforceable one but what's wrong with asking what would be reasonable? You've been unnecessarily harsh

I think what GoodWithSaving is saying though, is everyones interpretation of 'reasonable' is completely different, the onklyt hing we can offer the same is legal advice.  Having 50 replies on 'i think this' or 'i think that' means nothing.  1 might agree with the Op, and 20 others don't.  But what does that show.... nothing.  as GoodWithSaaving says 'reasonable' isn't black and white.

Gavin83

kew85 said:

Actually I’m 36 and he’s 48, met 7.5 years ago, lived together 6 ish. And yeah it’s just surprising that everyone comes back to the legal aspect of things when I’ve said that’s not what I’m asking about. I know where I stand legally, but things aren’t always black and white with humanity involved 

I agree with the others, the question is largely irrelevant. Everyone will have a different idea of what's fair but it's entirely meaningless, the only person who's opinion on fairness that matters is your ex. Legally speaking you're likely entitled to nothing so anything beyond this is 'fair'.

If you leave with enough for a deposit on a flat and the first months rent I think you're doing well, so let's say a few thousand.