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  • Skiddaw1
    Skiddaw1 Posts: 2,296 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  

    :D:D:D

    Actually, that has Premier League Footballer stamped on it with indelible ink I imagine. Or Bojo and his current bird possibly, if they could find a mate willing to stomp up a big enough loan.
  • Sarahspangles
    Sarahspangles Posts: 3,239 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Love the modesty panel in the bathroom Pic 18. Also features a convenient seat for easing oneself into the bath and a few handily-placed tiles for scented candles to aid the overall ambience...
    That’s possibly the last real cottage in England.
    Fashion on the Ration
    2024 - 43/66 coupons used, carry forward 23
    2025 - 62/89
  • Dustyevsky
    Dustyevsky Posts: 2,720 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Second Anniversary Homepage Hero Photogenic
    Love the modesty panel in the bathroom Pic 18. Also features a convenient seat for easing oneself into the bath and a few handily-placed tiles for scented candles to aid the overall ambience...
    That’s possibly the last real cottage in England.
    I know a few more, but they're fast disappearing as people find the last bastions of authenticity.
    Clue: Not on the coast!

    Just say, "No!"
  • YoungBlueEyes
    YoungBlueEyes Posts: 4,997 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Homepage Hero Photogenic
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  
    Semi-detached Ferrari :lol: 

    I know someone who would go mad for that. She married money but she's still common as muck. 

    Also - is that elephant a fountain..? Pic 35.
    Shout out to people who don't know what the opposite of in is.
  • Skiddaw1
    Skiddaw1 Posts: 2,296 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Love the modesty panel in the bathroom Pic 18. Also features a convenient seat for easing oneself into the bath and a few handily-placed tiles for scented candles to aid the overall ambience...
    That’s possibly the last real cottage in England.

    It's pure Thomas Hardy isn't it? Just gorgeous....
  • CSI_Yorkshire
    CSI_Yorkshire Posts: 1,792 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  
    I don't know much about Colchester - does it take a lot to be one of the area's "most prestigious, iconic and breath-taking" properties?
  • FreeBear
    FreeBear Posts: 18,306 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  
    I don't know much about Colchester - does it take a lot to be one of the area's "most prestigious, iconic and breath-taking" properties?
    It is Essex, so not really.

    Any language construct that forces such insanity in this case should be abandoned without regrets. –
    Erik Aronesty, 2014

    Treasure the moments that you have. Savour them for as long as you can for they will never come back again.
  • robatwork
    robatwork Posts: 7,298 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  
    You just don't hear "fundament" mentioned often enough nowadays. Did you ever write for Private Eye? 

    You could take this house out of Essex but....
  • Ditzy_Mitzy
    Ditzy_Mitzy Posts: 1,969 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    robatwork said:
    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/134554262#/?channel=RES_BUY

    Have you got the thick end of four and a quarter million nicker burning a hole in the pocket of your Armani jeans?  Well look no further than this place!  A three-ring circus of one's very own, complete with elephant statue, inland beach bar, football pitch and semi-detached Ferrari.  The agent's description froths like Veuve Clicquot that's been through a paint mixer and finally disappears up its own fundament with something about an alpaca farm.  

    Who would want this place?  It's baffling.  
    You just don't hear "fundament" mentioned often enough nowadays. Did you ever write for Private Eye? 

    You could take this house out of Essex but....
    No, I've never written for anybody but I do enjoy the aforementioned organ.  Heat et al promise all the goss, but have nothing on Private Eye.  

    Many of us would enjoy the spectacle of somebody trying to take that house out of Essex!  What would be used to move it?  Low loaders, conveyor belts or Bruce Dickinson's enormous airship?  
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