Facing reality

Sarahwithlove

Been sorting my paperwork out and looking at potential bills I could pay up front instead of monthly and one was my service charge. Got a nice surprise when I realised that the DD for that is over 10 months not 12 so April/May will be no SC payments. Now I'm debating whether to work out the yearly amount over 12 months and pay that into my pots on ynab so that I can then pay less each month into it and the two months top it up or use the two months towards the card and clear or quicker. Think I'm leaning more towards that. Same with CT think I'm gonna stick to 10 months as I quite like the two months without. It also means when I show my housemate the budget I can justify increasing her rent for this year as she's been dropping hints that she doesn't want it to go up even though she pays less then rooms in the area on spare room and less than what she was paying in bills when she shared with her ex boyfriend. She keeps talking about how she wants her own place and has a H2B she puts money into every month but I keep wondering how in earth she thinks she is gonna manage to run her own place on just her wage if she is complaining about how much rent she pays me. She will also have to start doing her own cooking and cleaning as well as atm I do 95% of cooking and probably 90% of cleaning. She basically cleans the living room which is where her bunnies are kept so it's only fair i think that she hoovers up after them. She's lived with me 18 months and cleaned the bathroom twice in that time and kitchen maybe 3 it 4 times. I'd love to know other people's thoughts on this as a colleague had a lodger and she was totally OK with them doing no cleaning at all and only keeping their room clean. Should it be shared between us or should I be doing it as she's my lodger? She gets free reign of the whole flat and uses it all as much as I do and like I said I do majority of the cooking. 

Parkyp

I like getting the two months with no council tax to pay, I always buy use it to buy a wee treat for myself so I’d keep doing that with the service charge. Definitely up your lodgers keep money and if she’s not willing to pull her weight then she can pay extra for your cooking and cleaning services 😂😂. There’s not many people that would allow her to have rabbits in the house and certainly not in the living room so she should be thankful your nice  and laid back with her. You’ve got your finances and budgeting on track now it’s time to sort out your lodger 🤣🤣. 

t2rry

I don't know from experience as I've only ever lived with my current OH, but I would think it's got to be the same as that, hasn't it?  You both live there, you both benefit from the roof over your head, you should both contribute to day to day stuff.  She'd have to do it if she lived alone, she'd have to do it in most living circumstances I can think of.... she's not paying for you to look after her, she's paying rent, the same as she would do anywhere else where she would also have to look after herself and cook and clean.

Sarahwithlove

Parkyp said:

I like getting the two months with no council tax to pay, I always buy use it to buy a wee treat for myself so I’d keep doing that with the service charge. Definitely up your lodgers keep money and if she’s not willing to pull her weight then she can pay extra for your cooking and cleaning services 😂😂. There’s not many people that would allow her to have rabbits in the house and certainly not in the living room so she should be thankful your nice  and laid back with her. You’ve got your finances and budgeting on track now it’s time to sort out your lodger 🤣🤣. 

I've just sat down and noted in back if my diary all the payment breaks I get for different things it's very nice to see. So will be keeping them as is for now. Especially as I've done a budget for after my debt and it's very doable that way. 

It's become very difficult to do anything as we've become good friends and I have become close with her family and I don't want things to turn nasty but I have been dropping hints and she's started doing a bit more washing up. I'm gonna see if she wants to sort dinner tonight as it's easy (Kievs) and maybe on days like that when it's simpler get her to do some of it to give me a break. Im waiting to see what the bill increases are like for CT, water and SC before I decide but I'm thinking another £25 a month isn't much to ask and I'm going to make some cut backs on TV package as don't use most of it so that will help to bring it more even. It will then be about! £25 a month less than spare room lowest is for our area. But you are right I think I'm a very flexible landlady really and it often feels like she doesn't appreciate that. 

Sarahwithlove

So in usual me fashion I have been playing around with the budget again. 
I've kept my car fund and house fund at £500 each, put aside my money for ynab renewal next month and then made min payments for other sinking funds to allow me to make an overpayment on credit card of £300 and £25 left for the DD to come out on couple days. Not sure if processed payment in time to stop it or not so left the money there in case. If DD doesn't come out then will make the extra payment. Card is now below the £1k mark and debt below £5k. It's a nice feeling and I just want the card gone now. Often to do March's budget based on my new figures to see what kind of overpayment I can hopefully make there.
Also spoke with HSBC today and should get my refund for coach ticket through tomorrow so that's £30 to go into my spending funds and still got my £50 left from birthday. Wondering whether to have a category on ynab for it so I can keep proper track as I spend it. 

t2rry

Could you suggest that you were thinking of an increase in line with market rates, but you're willing to subsidise the difference with reducing the TV package so her increase is kept to a minimum, namely £25?!  Just psychologically it then might make her realise she's getting a bit of a bargain and she's saving the money from the TV package rather than thinking that you're saving the money and also getting her increase on top!?  Sounds like the kind of person where that kind of thinking might make a difference....!!!

mark55man

I think definitely there are words to be had, but not so many that she might start feeling unwelcome and accelerate her move out (which seems unlikely but people are funny) - there's many a landlord who would settle for a friendly tenant at a bit less than a demanding one at a bit more

Sarahwithlove

t2rry said:

I don't know from experience as I've only ever lived with my current OH, but I would think it's got to be the same as that, hasn't it?  You both live there, you both benefit from the roof over your head, you should both contribute to day to day stuff.  She'd have to do it if she lived alone, she'd have to do it in most living circumstances I can think of.... she's not paying for you to look after her, she's paying rent, the same as she would do anywhere else where she would also have to look after herself and cook and clean.

That's my logic and how I would look at it if I lived somewhere. If someone cooked for me (which isn't an issue really) I would be offering to do the washing up for them. In same way that when I visit friends or family I always offer to help. Some will let me others not so much and in same way that friends and family offer if they come to visit. Back when we could. Im not asking her to do it all just would like her to do her share. But it seems like because she cleans up living room after HER bunnies that's enough cleaning. But they are her animals so she should be clearing up after them. 

Sarahwithlove

mark55man said:

I think definitely there are words to be had, but not so many that she might start feeling unwelcome and accelerate her move out (which seems unlikely but people are funny) - there's many a landlord who would settle for a friendly tenant at a bit less than a demanding one at a bit more

In all honesty it wouldn't be end of world if she did move out. My debt is at a level now that I can afford it. The extra money is helpful don't get me wrong and we've become good friends as a result so I would like things to end amicably between us. But it wouldn't be end of the world.

I just need to put my big girl pants on and start the conversation about it all. 

Sarahwithlove

t2rry said:

Could you suggest that you were thinking of an increase in line with market rates, but you're willing to subsidise the difference with reducing the TV package so her increase is kept to a minimum, namely £25?!  Just psychologically it then might make her realise she's getting a bit of a bargain and she's saving the money from the TV package rather than thinking that you're saving the money and also getting her increase on top!?  Sounds like the kind of person where that kind of thinking might make a difference....!!!

Maybe. But when I put it up £50 last year I tried to explain to her that she was there full time now versus staying at bf 3 nights a week as she had at start, wasn't paying anywhere near what rooms go for round here, or what she was paying when she shared with her bf or even 50% of the bills but she still moaned for months about it. I think I'm just gonna have to accept that she's not gonna be happy but that it's got to be fair on me as well. I shouldn't have to struggle to make ends meet when she's looking at paying for nose jobs 🙄