Facing reality

Lookafterthepennies2020

I printed out a copy of the organised mum method, its basically a little bit of cleaning approx. 15mins generally and then you really focus on one room per day for approx. half an hour.  Might be an idea to print out and split the days up between you both? Then if you don't stick to that, at least she might get the hint that it should be both of you doing half of the cleaning lol  

Sarahwithlove

Lookafterthepennies2020 said:

I printed out a copy of the organised mum method, its basically a little bit of cleaning approx. 15mins generally and then you really focus on one room per day for approx. half an hour.  Might be an idea to print out and split the days up between you both? Then if you don't stick to that, at least she might get the hint that it should be both of you doing half of the cleaning lol  

That might be a good idea. Or even just a list of jobs to be done at weekend and then can be split between two of us to make it more fair. 

alt80

Sarahwithlove said:

alt80 said:

@Sarahwithlove I could manage no takeaways but no restaurants / pub meals (well when we can ha), absolutely no chance. I know a lot of people have took the !!!!!! on my diary about running my RR and the champagne too but not likely to give up either. Aware it probably sounds bad but I earn well and can't do the whole knitting my own yoghurt stuff, just not for me so 100 get where you're coming from.

The addictive spending is a massive problem for me - I would 100 see a say £500/m personal spends fund as a min target so not at the stage of chilling out more about that side of things. 

Tbh takeaway wise it's usually once a month at the moment but McDonald's on other hand is becoming a weekend habit I need to break. Or midweek as well as case may be. I think because it's a 5 min drive away and I'm struggling at work to have a proper lunch break it's easy to order on app and just go pick it up. But have deleted the app and unsubscribed from the emails they send with the offers and going forward have scheduled a proper lunch break in every day so that I can make lunch and go out for a walk when possible.
I too like to eat out and probably did 5 to 6 times a month minimum before lockdown but again think it's something I need to cut back on. Making my own Nandos at home has helped.

If not having a goal makes it work for you then that's fine. Maybe instead put other rules in place. So only coffee once a week that isn't a business expense for example. Allow yourself £100 every few months to go spend on clothes etc. Going cold turkey doesn't always help but if you know say in Feb you'll have £100 to spend on clothing it makes it easier to go that long without. 

Ha the times I have a Maccies/ Starbucks because I’m just passing through is unreal - nature of my work, always expensed and think what I’m buying so not just getting massive from eating all the junk food lol. 

If we can ever eat out again wife and I agreed it’s once every other week and once a year at our favourite place which usually don’t get out with much change from £500.

My real dilemma when I spend I really like to spend and it becomes a habit all over again, get the buzz and need it again. Know it’s ridiculous and is 100 addictive behaviour. I also have enough clothing to probably last a couple of lifetimes and all decent stuff so better avoiding the triggers altogether for a while at least. I know what you mean about restrained spending the reasoning is sound but not really for me right now.

Sarahwithlove

alt80 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

alt80 said:

@Sarahwithlove I could manage no takeaways but no restaurants / pub meals (well when we can ha), absolutely no chance. I know a lot of people have took the !!!!!! on my diary about running my RR and the champagne too but not likely to give up either. Aware it probably sounds bad but I earn well and can't do the whole knitting my own yoghurt stuff, just not for me so 100 get where you're coming from.

The addictive spending is a massive problem for me - I would 100 see a say £500/m personal spends fund as a min target so not at the stage of chilling out more about that side of things. 

Tbh takeaway wise it's usually once a month at the moment but McDonald's on other hand is becoming a weekend habit I need to break. Or midweek as well as case may be. I think because it's a 5 min drive away and I'm struggling at work to have a proper lunch break it's easy to order on app and just go pick it up. But have deleted the app and unsubscribed from the emails they send with the offers and going forward have scheduled a proper lunch break in every day so that I can make lunch and go out for a walk when possible.
I too like to eat out and probably did 5 to 6 times a month minimum before lockdown but again think it's something I need to cut back on. Making my own Nandos at home has helped.

If not having a goal makes it work for you then that's fine. Maybe instead put other rules in place. So only coffee once a week that isn't a business expense for example. Allow yourself £100 every few months to go spend on clothes etc. Going cold turkey doesn't always help but if you know say in Feb you'll have £100 to spend on clothing it makes it easier to go that long without. 

Ha the times I have a Maccies/ Starbucks because I’m just passing through is unreal - nature of my work, always expensed and think what I’m buying so not just getting massive from eating all the junk food lol. 

If we can ever eat out again wife and I agreed it’s once every other week and once a year at our favourite place which usually don’t get out with much change from £500.

My real dilemma when I spend I really like to spend and it becomes a habit all over again, get the buzz and need it again. Know it’s ridiculous and is 100 addictive behaviour. I also have enough clothing to probably last a couple of lifetimes and all decent stuff so better avoiding the triggers altogether for a while at least. I know what you mean about restrained spending the reasoning is sound but not really for me right now.

It's good that you have enough insight to know that you would be tempted if you allowed yourself any spending. I find going through my wardrobe every now and then helps me to refresh what I wear as often things get forgotten about. Maybe spend some of your time over Xmas having a sort out. 

Sarahwithlove

I'm sad to say we have now moved into tier 4 as of tomorrow. Christmas is cancelled 😔

joedenise

Same here!  We haven't had to cancel Christmas plans - we had already decided we were going to stay home on our own.  I'm just glad I'm not on my own.  I'm hoping anyone on their own is in a "bubble" so that they count as a household - I know for my sister that isn't the case as her DD is in Scotland and her DS is in a bubble with a friend near where he lives so my sister is going to be on her own.  This was going to be her first Christmas not volunteering for Crisis at Christmas - this was not because she didn't want to but because she is over 70 and advised not to apply by the organisation themselves.  I really feel for her and anyone else who will be on their own.

Parkyp

Is tier 4 not allowed to mix with anyone, not even Christmas Day ? X

Parkyp

Oh just read joe Denise reply, oh that’s just heartbreaking that her sister will be alone. I do understand the most important thing is people have to be safe. I really don’t know what the answer is to all this x

Sarahwithlove

Parkyp said:

Is tier 4 not allowed to mix with anyone, not even Christmas Day ? X

No only your own household or a support bubble x

Sarahwithlove

joedenise said:

Same here!  We haven't had to cancel Christmas plans - we had already decided we were going to stay home on our own.  I'm just glad I'm not on my own.  I'm hoping anyone on their own is in a "bubble" so that they count as a household - I know for my sister that isn't the case as her DD is in Scotland and her DS is in a bubble with a friend near where he lives so my sister is going to be on her own.  This was going to be her first Christmas not volunteering for Crisis at Christmas - this was not because she didn't want to but because she is over 70 and advised not to apply by the organisation themselves.  I really feel for her and anyone else who will be on their own.

Looks like my dad will be on his own but he was last year and doesn't really celebrate it. Just very sad times for us all ahead.