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Working mums what's the secret

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  • Jet
    Jet Posts: 1,644 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    elsien said:
    Jet said:

    I have tried to explain all this to him but he makes out I'm being completely unreasonable and that I'm picking fault with his "helping".








    He isn't helping - that implies the jobs are all yours and he is magnanimous enough to give a hand once is a while. What he should be doing is doing his fair share of all the jobs and planning that are required to keep a home running. . 
    I think some of the trouble is that there are a lot of "unseen" jobs in the home.  The big jobs like washing, cooking, shopping, hoovering are easy to identify.  It's all those little jobs that add up that seem petty to point out but added up, they amount to lots of time.  I have found it impossible to make him understand this over the years.  
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,432 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Division of Labour. When went off to do my degree we negotiated. OH picked shopping and cooking, I had cleaning and laundry, plus paper work. 
    At its worst, I found myself ironing school shirts and work shirts at 9pm on a Sunday night, but later I was able to afford a cleaner and what a difference. 
    It helps if school uniforms are low maintenance, like polo shirts instead of cotton shirts and ties. Luckily, OH's company also changed to egalitarian polo shirts for all staff. 
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • I work because I enjoy it and because I need the structure it provides. My son has a wonderful nanny who greatly enriches his life, but I'm home with him a lot (in the office 3 days a week) and he knows who his mom is. I was dying on maternity leave...staying at home I felt directionless and I am just not a pinterest mom who can engineer a full day of activities. I could stay home if I wanted too, but it's better for everyone if I work.


  • All sandwiches for the week including mine are now In the freezer.
    The chicken casserole with potatoes is in the king pro dish in the fridge and the timer will be set In the morning. All I have to do is put the frozen broccoli on l when we get in.

    Washing is on the aired.
    The dogs have been walked.
    Boys have showered and gone to bed. I have made them put their bags with all they need by the door and locate hat and gloves for the morning.

    Work washing is on hangers as soon as the wash finished to avoid creases.

    Boys uniforms were ironed last week.

    I feel alot better and more organised with these now done and hopefully will be a lot better and stress free in the morning.

    Il keep you posted if I find anymore backs that may come useful.
    Wow! That's really thoughtful 
  • The secret is not that simple. Supportive family and their contributions matter a lot. I would give its credit to my mother, my mother-in-law and my elder sister. Without their support, it was impossible. 
  • Hi. The first thing I want to say is that trying to do everything at once won't work. As soon as I started working remotely, I thought I could cook and clean and work 8 hours a day, but I only ended up getting tired faster. Okay, I have two sons, and they are perfectly capable of loading the laundry without my help and pushing the button. My older son helps me with the cooking because he enjoys it. Don't try to do everything yourself, and if you don't have time for something, that's okay. 
  • Penguin_
    Penguin_ Posts: 1,584 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Little things for me is keeping the ironing to a minimum, not letting it pile up as it will never get done. As soon as a load of washing is dry, get it ironed & get the kids to match socks up & put them in piles with the underwear. Kids walk the dog after dinner when I am doing the dishes, then I usually either run the hoover round upstairs or downstairs when they are out. I utilise the slow cooker at the moment, prepping dinner the night before then putting it on when I leave for work in the morning. Bathroom & toilet gets cleaned on a Saturday morning.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,273 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Penguin_ said:
    Little things for me is keeping the ironing to a minimum, not letting it pile up as it will never get done. As soon as a load of washing is dry, get it ironed & get the kids to match socks up & put them in piles with the underwear. 
    Better yet, GIVE UP IRONING! (I do hope you're not ironing socks and underwear???)
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Penguin_
    Penguin_ Posts: 1,584 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Savvy_Sue said:
    Penguin_ said:
    Little things for me is keeping the ironing to a minimum, not letting it pile up as it will never get done. As soon as a load of washing is dry, get it ironed & get the kids to match socks up & put them in piles with the underwear. 
    Better yet, GIVE UP IRONING! (I do hope you're not ironing socks and underwear???)
    Give up ironing? Not an option as I work in an office & wear shirt & trousers which need ironing along with jeans, t-shirts etc. Haha no I don't iron underwear & socks, I iron bedding & clothes.
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