Working mums what's the secret

ShirleyJohnson

I have planned my activities via weekdays and asked my mother-in-law and my mother for babysitting the time I am not at home

hb2

Among all the organising etc, don't forget that your kids will remember the times you spent with them, not how clean the house was!

TomokoAdhami

First of all, keep in mind, working ladies are not superhuman and they can't do everything. Yes, the family shares their workload. How a lady can fight on every stage? Sometimes, gadgets help her, sometimes husbands shares work and even kids become supportive. 

CreditCardJunkie

I only have one child (1yr) but I have a horse and a dog too. I work 30hrs a week and run a business from home on the side that's probably around 10hrs a week. I saw a quote online months ago which is my mantra. 
"I can do anything, but I can't do everything"
No I don't cook from scratch often. No my house isn't spotless. However my daughter eats healthy meals (which I batch cook and freeze), she is clean and she is happy. I clean as best as I can in the time I have without killing myself/sacrificing too much of my free time with daughter. Sometimes you just have to let some things go.

onwards&upwards

badmemory said:

Many many years ago I had a boss who said he would only employ women with children in the future as they had to organise & plan.

Lol, women without children can organise and plan their contraception! 

PommeVerte

A few things i do which i feel make my life as a working mum of 3 easier
Always having stamps and envelopes in the house so u can send off paperwork without much procrastination. 
Always have a pen near the front door for when i forget to sign school contact books the night before etc
Have a little box of plasters, antiseptic spray, cotton swabs etc ready in the kitchen for when the kids scrape their knees whilst youre simultaneously cooking dinner-feeding the baby-checking a bill online-chatting to your sister on the phone. 
Get school bags/clothes/my bag ready the night before.
Instigate rules so that life doesnt get too chaotic. My 6 and 5 year old must always put their shoes and coats in the correct place, not just strewn around. They must tidy whatever they were playing with away, made it as easy as poss for them with boxes and not too much clutter. They put their cutlery and plates in the dishwasher after dinner, and yoghurt pots in the bin. Makes u feel less like a slave !
Do your shopping with meals in mind, and make massive meals which will do for 2 days. I do a big spag bol every week which does us for 2 dinners for 4 people (1 of my kids is a baby!), and we do some cheat dinners too for when us n the kids are just knackered, like ham and pasta, or roast pork slices and mash. And for their veggie fix i stick some cherry tomatoes or cucumber fingers in front of them as a "starter". 
Ah and i bought myself a cordless hoover and a good mop which has made life sooooo much easier.
I only work part time though i hasten to add ! I feel its justified as we have a big house, a dog, 2 cats, a horse, a massive garden. If i worked full time we'd have to get a cleaner so me working less is cost effective !
I'm loving being a busy mum but i think thats because im right in the thick of it for now, i bet once theyre abit more autonomous i might be like, gosh that was hectic now rest !

Jet

I came on here today to basically ask the same question.  How do you do it all?  I already do a lot of what has been mentioned here - batch cooking, hanging clothes when the washing machine finishes so v little ironing, once a week shopping and meal planning.  I also have a cleaner once a week.  My children are nearly grown up now but some still live with us on a full time or part time basis. The full time one I don't do anything for except cook for him.  He dries up every night after dinner.   I really struggle and resent the mental load sometimes but also know there is a minimum standard I want to maintain and I simply can't expect anyone else in my family to think the same way.  I am having to go back to work full time with a commute after having a year or so of caring for a sick relative.  Aside from the caring issues, I have enjoyed having more flexibility with my time and my mental health has been so much better since I can actually have some time for myself that doesn't have to be squeezed around everything else which invariably means rushing and stressing over all the chores.

I think it is all those "little things" that add up and take a lot of time.  Folding the clothes, tidying, drawing the curtains , (and opening them again!) making the bed, emptying the bins, emptying the recycling, watering the plants, taking the pets to the vets, remembering to de-flea and worm the pets, feeding the pets, paying the bills, doing the shopping list, remember the shopping bags, cleaning the fridge out of out of date food etc etc.

When I have tried to get DP on board in the past, he will put some washing on, for example, but then put it on a fast spin and leave it festering in the machine before hanging it really carelessly.  So, he saves me a 10 min job of putting the washing on and hanging it, but creates me an hours worth of ironing. 

If I ask him to cook dinner, I will have to plan it and get the ingredients.  Or he just takes ingredients for a meal planned later in the week meaning I have to go out shopping again.  I have a supply of freezer food for this reason but I don't want to eat it on a regular basis.

The cat needs to take tablets before his food.  DP will just carelessly leave the tablet on the floor if the cat doesn't take it, then our dog eats it!

He won't rotate food in the fridge, so I end up wasting food and having to do more shopping because we only have the out of date stuff left.

I have tried to explain all this to him but he makes out I'm being completely unreasonable and that I'm picking fault with his "helping".

Aranyani

Jet said:

When I have tried to get DP on board in the past, he will put some washing on, for example, but then put it on a fast spin and leave it festering in the machine before hanging it really carelessly.  So, he saves me a 10 min job of putting the washing on and hanging it, but creates me an hours worth of ironing. 

Why do you have to pick up his slack?  If he creates ironing, why isn't he the doing that ironing?  

I say start just looking after yourself and let him sort his own food/clothes etc. out and give him a reminder of what being an adult means!

DD265

Savvy_Sue said:

Another thought: what DH and I do now is keep a list on Google Keep (we share an account). Either of us can update it, and we just consult it when either of us is shopping, because now there's just the two of us we don't need a Big Shop very often. It takes a little bit of discipline, because I remember what we need better than he does so I don't always Keep things ... but even after all these years he can't read my mind! :rotfl:

Just to take this a step further, we do the same (though we have separate accounts and share various lists) but we have various Google Home devices throughout the house. When cooking, if you use the last stock cube for example but don't have any free hands, just say 'hey Google, add beef stock cubes to the supermarket list' and it's on there. We do re-arrange the items into their categories before we go shopping as Google just sticks it at one end of the list, but it means nothing gets forgotten, and we're usually manually adding to the list after meal planning anyway.

I might also ask Google for the weather forecast whilst I'm getting washing out of the machine, so I know whether to hang it up inside or out. We also use shared Google Calendars, so we can easily see who's got what when/where. There's only two of us, but I don't think we'd change if we had children. I use reminders and tasks and schedule them, though you can't share those. OH can mimmick my voice and get Google to read them out (I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing...) but on the devices with screens they show up there.

I do make a point of specifically asking OH to do something, if I want him to do something. He does almost all the cooking (based on the meal plan which is on the calendar), and is great at running the vacuum round, but is less proactive on the non-routine things. I'm not sure that'll change! I feel like if tasks could be shared, it'd mean he could just check a list, so hopefully they'll bring that in soon. I've accepted that I'll be doing the bulk of the organising, but it is my thing.

clarejones

As soon as you can, invest in a cleaner! Research has shown that hiring a cleaner or paying someone to mow the lawn can have similar benefits for happiness as having more money