Depressed with the insanity of this process

hb2

HomelessH wrote: »

We asked for more time from the landlord but he did not want to extend, because his daughter who is pregnant, was moving in.

Nevertheless, you could have refused to move until a court ended your tenancy. I get that you wanted to be nice but you did have a choice.

I do empathise with you missing your cats, I would be bereft without mine.

Mutton_Geoff

HomelessH wrote: »

We asked for more time from the landlord but he did not want to extend, because his daughter who is pregnant, was moving in.

GM will be along in a moment to explain why you don't have to take notice of that as a tenant on an AST.

Splatfoot

I thought Hazyjo's post was actually really kind?! To the point but not in anyway nasty. Hope you manage to sort it all out OP. It is stressful but you need to put it in perspective. I do feel for you with the cats but you will get them back eventually.

trex227

Some sellers are just nutters. When I worked at a solicitors a buyer approached us and wanted to complete in 28 days as the seller only accepted their offer on this basis. They were cash buyers and prepared to waive searches if they couldn’t get done in time so I said shouldn’t be a problem assuming the sellers solicitors gets the contract pack to us in good time.

Despite repeated chasing the seller did not instruct their solicitors until day 21, we received the contracts on day 27. The seller was apparently mad as a hatter on day 28 we weren’t completing that day! We had been instructed and ready and waiting since day 2.

Decepcionada19

I'm so sorry to read about your current situation, Homeless H, and I sincerely wish you a speedy resolution. As someone mentioned, do check out the thread about 'lengthy exchanges' for mutual support and to share with others who are going through their own difficulties....

Lokolo_2

HomelessH, I can definitely sympathise with what you are going through, it is a lengthy and complicated process, not made easier at all by vendors, buyers, estate agents, solicitors behaviours!

I had similar experience trying to buy a house from a couple that I did not find out until progress slowed, had broken up, which was the initial reason for sale, but they decided 3 months into the process to get back together again and thus pulled from the sale, it is irritating all the time wasted, money spent that you cannot get back. However not much you can do so not worth dwelling on it, chalk it up to experience and move on, you will get a home eventually!

I too think that Hazyjo did not mean to offend you, she is an established member on here and has a lot of wise tips from experience, definitely worthwhile taking onboard for future property transactions so that they won't affect you as much as they did up to now!

I too wish you better luck in the process and please do come and let us know how you got on!

babyblade41

Hate to reiterate the above, but if you hadn't vacated your rental then a lot of your stress would not be happening.

Why on earth did you leave?

LL can't just tell you , a court is the only place that can evict like this

warby68

OP, I know you don't want to hear it but your reaction and feelings are on the extreme side as you've described them here.

House buying IS stressful, one of the most stressful things and when its your first time, you can be shocked by how messy, slow and unreliable people and the process are.

You have the utmost sympathy but that doesn't mean that your situation isn't normal/typical/to be expected and also that you have inadvertently incorporated some of the extra stressy factors. I'm sure HazyJo hoped that by understanding how typical a position you're in and what some of these factors are, it would help you be a little more resigned rather than inflame you.

If you really do feel as hopeless as you sound, I'd seek some help with that and even look again at your temporary living arrangements for something more suitable even if it comes at a price.

Yes, its a nightmare but, unfortunately, a perfectly normal nightmare and you do need a certain amount of resiliance.

If this falls through, is it worth you taking another rental now you know you don't have to be forced out so quickly and hang on to this one ( and your cats) until the purchase is complete?

Meantime, you're still well within normal timescales - nothing odd about 4-6 months and you haven't been told the deal is 'off' so it could be worth sitting tight a bit longer. You can up the ante by giving a deadline eventually but you have to be prepared to follow through and back out of this purchase. I know you love this property but given your current state, a back to the drawing board approach with secure accommodation once more might actually be better for you.

Inspirational stories - these probably won't convince you but the joy of completing on your first owned home is magical once it happens. We're 6 or 7 house moves in and still enjoyed a huge feeling of satisfaction once the last purchase was sorted.

kates08

To be honest, it doesn't sound like the worst of transactions so far, our most stressful one took 8 months with the chain collapsing twice. House buying is stressful, and as a ftb this is probably the simplest transaction you'll have.

There are many reasons why the husband might be delaying, you say he isn't interested in hundreds of thousands of pounds but they might have very little equity, meaning they have very little or nothing left after selling. He might have wanted to buy her out but couldn't raise the funds. He might just want to annoy her as much as possible. I would always be wary of buying from a divorcing couple.

I can understand being separated from pets is hard, but you just need to try and calm down a bit if you're getting this stressed, October to end of January is not an overly long time for a property process so if you do pull out the next one could be a lot more complicated.

Davesnave

babyblade41 wrote: »

Why on earth did you leave?

Like many others, they came here to vent. They didn't come here for advice or have the resources to investigate the situation properly themselves at the time when it mattered.

A hard pill for the OP to swallow in their depressed state, but true. Sometimes, when people write 'poor me' posts, it might help them to feel less picked-on to see there were flaws in their own behaviour, not just others'.

That was certainly true in our last house sale/purchase marathon, which lasted 22 months. (Don't worry, no details here!) There were many things we could have done better and a number of lessons learned that have helped us since.

It won't be 22 months next time!