Frugal, thrifty, make do, mend! Let this debt come to an end!

WinterWarrior

You have been busy! I find a bit of washing up liquid on a wet cloth rubbed in to cat sick works well. I just rub over it again with a wet cloth corner with no washing up liquid and then with a dry corner (all the same cloth). I use eco washing up liquid since I found out the normal stuff is lethal to fish, but I make all my other cleaning products from the Nancy birtwistle book.
It’s a shame the wedding will be so expensive for you.

Elisheba

Highlanddream said:

I was just looking back at the beginning of this thread, the increase in the cost of living so so noticeable. I didn't realise I was at the beginning and thought ..."how on earth are people getting this & that so cheaply, I must be missing something"

I just took a look when I saw your comment @Highlanddream -£40 a month for food! If I properly reined it in I could maybe manage on £70 now, but £40! As you say, it's only when you look at figures like that you realise how much things have gone up.

Although I'm not debt free, I'm so very glad I don't have all that crazy debt and I'm not paying all that interest anymore. What a mess I'd gotten myself into! These days I've got the very tail end of all that debt on one interest free credit card, the house moving costs I had to borrow on another interest free credit card, and my car loan. It all feels much more manageable and like I'm in control now.

Elisheba

WinterWarrior said:

You have been busy! I find a bit of washing up liquid on a wet cloth rubbed in to cat sick works well. I just rub over it again with a wet cloth corner with no washing up liquid and then with a dry corner (all the same cloth). I use eco washing up liquid since I found out the normal stuff is lethal to fish, but I make all my other cleaning products from the Nancy birtwistle book.
It’s a shame the wedding will be so expensive for you.

I love Nancy Birtwhistle! I'm a total convert to her eco recipes 😁

Elisheba

Evening, all,

I'm going to be very much a Monday moaner today. It's just been one of those days.

I added my friend's wedding and hen do to my s/s and was thoroughly depressed at the results. So I decided to swallow my pride and ask another friend who loaned me money for the house move if I could pay him back in installments as originally agreed, and then I could use the lump sum I've got sitting there to pay the credit card instead. That way I wouldn't end up paying any interest when the interest free period runs out, or balance transfer charges.

Only I put the message on the group chat to him and my friend who is getting married, not just on a message to him 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳. I was absolutely mortified - first that the wedding friend might worry or stress about the fact I was finding it expensive, and second that she had seen private financial stuff. She was very kind and said not to worry, and it wouldn't be that expensive and offered to loan me money 😳😳😳😳😳😳. I tried to explain that I could afford it and was happy to spend money on such a lovely event, and had just been trying to be financially responsible, but honest to goodness, I'm just so embarrassed. What a mistake to make. All to save a balance transfer free on £800, which would only be about £40 maximum. I would so much rather have spent the money and kept my pride 😭😭😭😭. 

Anyway, she's a very close friend and I had already mentioned to her I'd borrowed some money from the other friend for the house move so I suppose it's not the end of the world, but it feels humiliating. Then on top of that, to make all the ends meet I've had to cancel another hen do I'm supposed to be going to (for a less close friend) so I can at least afford to go to her the wedding. I just couldn't justify the cost of going to her hen and wedding. Just an all round depressing blooming day really. 

So, the budget now adds up again without any massive cuts to my standard of living. I was able to update pet food costs and energy costs with data from this month, which saved a little bit as well. I'm absolutely sick of the sight of the blooming s/s though.

I know I'm in a hugely privileged position where I can live comfortably on one salary, with all my bills and needs met and still have some money to spend on nice things, and I'm only cutting back on expensive extras, but it's not much fun and I could do without the public aspect of it 😒. It's one thing to talk about finances on here where I'm anonymous and amongst like-minded people, it's quite another to have them public, or having to cancel things I have already committed to and explain I can't afford them. I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses, or portray an expensive lifestyle I can't afford, but I don't like looking like a charity case either. Pride is a funny thing.

So that's my moaning done for the day. These things happen and I just need to get over it. Washing got done today on a 20 degree eco wash, and I've put some bras to soak in green bleach and washing soda, and will put them on a delicates wash tomorrow. Upstairs got hoovered as well, so I'm pretty much on top of things house wise. It's really mild today so I haven't needed the heating on at all, so that saves a little bit of oil. Had a very damp and blustery walk at lunchtime, but silly dog had a great time which is the main thing. It's lovely to see that the Snowdrops have started to come out everywhere ☺️.

I don't need to go into the office this Friday due to the train strikes so that's good, and £45 off February's travel budget. I had a bit left over from my January food and pet pots, so that's gone towards the bulk purchases I stockpiled in early January, and I think that's what most of the travel saving from this Friday will go towards as well. My budget is pretty spot on for costs now, so there won't be many other savings to be made.

I'm off to make some dinner - bolognaise that was in the freezer with some pasta. I finished another book this morning before work, so might start another one tonight, or might watch some You Tube videos. Something comforting anyway, after a rubbish day.

I hope all of your days were better than mine, and that you are snug and cosy tonight 😁.

MeandO

I know I'm in a hugely privileged position where I can live comfortably on one salary, with all my bills and needs met and still have some money to spend on nice things, and I'm only cutting back on expensive extras, but it's not much fun and I could do without the public aspect of it 😒. It's one thing to talk about finances on here where I'm anonymous and amongst like-minded people, it's quite another to have them public, or having to cancel things I have already committed to and explain I can't afford them. I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses, or portray an expensive lifestyle I can't afford, but I don't like looking like a charity case either. Pride is a funny thing.

I totally get this Elisheba, I feel the same a lot of the time. Whilst it’s lovely to be financially self sufficient, it’s also exhausting at times. Your friends sound lovely though and I’m sure they’re all understanding. I hope tomorrow’s a better day, I too will be glad to see the back of today, it wasn’t the greatest. Xx

SuzeQStan

Hey lovely xx chin up one day you will have a giggle about this I promise you. Ok it
might be a day in the not so near future but it will happen 😉🥰

I reckon everyone has had something happen like this - and I’ve come to learn there are way worse things in this life than a bit of dented pride. 

You know what else? I reckon there is a very good chance you won’t be the only wedding participant who is getting a bit creative with the budget so they can take part.  You have almost surely helped someone else more than you may ever know - just by letting them know they aren’t alone.  

Most folk have to stick to budgets and all the rest are just in denial!  Be proud of yourself - I know that I am - you aren’t going to crucify yourself in debt to honour your friend at their wedding.  

And by your example you are helping so many on here too.

Biggest of big hugs to you xxxx

Cheery_Daff

Big hugs lass (((()))))) It might not feel like it right now, but i reckon it's good the bride knows that this isn't just a simple thing for people. Hopefully this means she'll be mindful of not making decisions that increase costs any further. It might have even prompted her to check if anyone else can afford it too. 

It'll feel easier with time, I promise xxx

Elisheba

Thanks @MeandO, @SuzeQStan and @Cheery_Daff for your kindness. I'm feeling much better about the whole thing after a good night's sleep. Sometimes you just need a bit of distance and a fresh head to put things into perspective. I've been sitting in bed reading the paper and doing the crossword for the last hour, which has been a lovely and relaxing start to the morning, but it's time to get up now.

Aims today are to wash the bras that are soaking, and try the soaking method on some other grey and stained items, give the bathroom a clean, change the cat litter, walk silly dog, organise work day, read some of my book, eat 3 meals, message a few friends to see how they are doing and finish the crossword. If I'm feeling like it I might try out my new knitting tin to see if it works with silly dog, or start a jigsaw.

Moorviews

I’m glad you are feeling better about things this morning. It’s good for brides to realise that they aren’t the only people budgeting for a wedding. You do amazingly well being self sufficient and it isn’t anything to be ashamed of when things are tight. When I was very young, and before credit cards were easily available, it wasn’t unusual for people to say that they couldn’t afford to do or have something. It is as if being able to borrow has put more pressure on us to keep up with others. Your friends clearly value who you are above anything else. Have a lovely day today 😊

Makingabobor2

I can see how you must have felt, but it seems your friend understands and it will soon be something you will forget about. I once sent a message about my sister...saying something rather nasty....actually to her by mistake, instead of to my daughter....oops!  Managed to talk my way out of it, and I think its all forgotten now after several years. 
Brides to need to understand though, how expensive weddings can be for guests. We went to my nephew's wedding 10 years ago, and it was over 100miles away and in a very posh hotel. Had no choice really but to stay the night, which also meant having to buy dinner the night before the wedding as hotel was only on a B&B basis and in the middle of countryside, so not even any local chippy we could go to. Then as it was so posh I needed a new dress as I live and die in jeans & leggings and didn't even own a dress....lol.