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Can sister in law attend will reading?

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
36 replies 5.4K views
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  • Out,_Vile_JellyOut,_Vile_Jelly Forumite
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    Unpleasant situation. If we're talking sentimental value rather than £20k sparklers I might be tempted to say that in the stress of the hospital, the rings got misplaced (I know of three instances where this has happened to friends/family). This will depend on whether you've truly written off the relationship with your brother and are sure your mum wouldn't want her grand-daughters to have them. It would be nice to offer the girls (who can't help their parents) a keepsake to remember their Nan.
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  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    It would be nice to offer the girls (who can't help their parents) a keepsake to remember their Nan.

    This^

    I shared Mum's jewellery out between all the female relatives.
  • GrumpelstiltskinGrumpelstiltskin Forumite
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    I was executor for my in laws.

    There were 5 daughters and a bag full of jewellery.

    How was I going to deal with that?

    I sorted the jewellery into 5 making sure each contained both gold and costume jewellery.

    I put each into a large brown envelope and they chose which envelope they wanted without knowing what they were receiving.

    At least I couldn't be accused of preferential treatment.
    If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.
  • Skiddaw1Skiddaw1 Forumite
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    Thing is, if there's a reasonable family dynamic, issues such as that can be resolved quite easily and amicably. If not (as in this case from the sound of it) everything is likely to become a source of argument and resentment however trivial. My grandmother and one of her sisters once fell out for years over a pig-shaped nail brush so believe me, it doesn't take much!



    OP, I think if you're going to get through this you're going to have to do your very best to count to ten frequently and make some concessions...
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    OP, you may not like your brother, and you may like his wife even less, and you may feel they never did anything for your mother, but please remember he is also grieving the loss of his mother.
    Still knitting!
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  • thorsoakthorsoak Forumite
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    So she got back from Australia in time for the funeral?
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    Sil was asking me where my mums rings are. I removed them in the hospital as mums fingers were swelling. Sil was insisting her daughter has them as a keepsake.

    I told her I am only daughter and I was only one who looked after mum and I am having them. Mum had previously said they were mine. But obviously hard to prove that.

    But also impossible for SIL to disprove. As they were given to you while your Mum was still alive, they won't be part of her estate.
  • MalthusianMalthusian Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    As they were given to you while your Mum was still alive, they won't be part of her estate.

    The OP removed them from her Mum's fingers in the hospital (which presumably means shortly before death) because they were uncomfortable. That to me suggests they were still Mum's. "Mum had previously said they were mine" could mean "after I'm gone" and if that isn't what the Will says, words are wind. This is by nature "he said, she said" but the facts presented suggest Mum owned the rings until her death. Helping to remove someone's clothing doesn't transfer ownership.

    The solicitor stands to make some easy money from this one by the sound of it (i.e. charging lots of money to relay bickering back and forth).

    The answer to the OP's original question is that if she doesn't want to see the SIL, she should not attend the meeting. There is no such thing as a Will reading, and we've not been told whether there is actually any real purpose to the meeting between the brother and the solicitor in the first place.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    Malthusian wrote: »
    The OP removed them from her Mum's fingers in the hospital (which presumably means shortly before death) because they were uncomfortable. That to me suggests they were still Mum's. "Mum had previously said they were mine" could mean "after I'm gone" and if that isn't what the Will says, words are wind. This is by nature "he said, she said" but the facts presented suggest Mum owned the rings until her death.

    That's your take on it.

    If DesperateScousewife says that her mother told her the rings were hers and that she gave them to her when they had to be removed in the hospital, who could prove otherwise?
  • mamanmaman Forumite
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    I am attending. To protect my interest and those of my child/grandchild mentioned in the Will.
    Sil was asking me where my mums rings are. I removed them in the hospital as mums fingers were swelling. Sil was insisting her daughter has them as a keepsake. I told her I am only daughter and I was only one who looked after mum and I am having them. Mum had previously said they were mine. But obviously hard to prove that. So sil in a threatening manner said they are part of mums estate. So it’s not going to go smoothly. :eek:

    There's obviously resentment in what you've posted. It's understandable but unless you want to fall out with your brother and line the solicitor's pockets then I really think you should try and compromise.

    I wear my grandmother's wedding ring. My father was an only child so it was passed to my mother and then to me (as the only girl). I wear it every day. My ring from DH and my mother's ring are in my jewellery box for high days and holidays.

    I'm telling you this because it's unlikely that your nieces would wear your mother's rings. Try to explain to your brother that you want to wear them not put them in drawer somewhere. Is there something else they could have as a keepsake? My brothers asked that my mum's bangles (12 thin, gold slave bangles) be shared between my 3 nieces. I did so to please them (their fathers). I've never seen the girls wear them and I know I'd have worn them every day but it was a compromise worth making. :)
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