Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Sun_Addict

That’s awful about the garden, do you think they were looking for food or even worse the rabbits? We used to have a lot of foxes come into our garden but not seen any since we got the dog. Obviously they’re not put off by your dogs.

Buffythedebtslayer

I think my dogs are scared of the foxes. Plus our garden is very overgrown on one side and neither are good at exploring such places. 
I thought I was feeling better. It could all be hormonal and not some existential crisis as I am due on in week.  I am having an issue with so many things being unfinished. The fish tank needs the filter put on. The pond really needs the filter put on. The other fish tank needs to go on a stand. The stand needs building, the back door needs fixing. One of the internal doors fell off its hinges and now we only have one lockable back door. I can hear mum fighting with the ironing board no one uses and yet we keep. I just went through the shoes by the door and threw two pairs away. Mum has 3 pairs of slippers. I put the rest of my summer shoes in a bag. I can't leave them upstairs as the rabbits will eat them. The aviary doesn't fit together proper as the slabs I have laid are not even. Although I may well just unscrew and re screw them wonky. No chance of me doing the roof, which will also be out I have terrible back ache and earache. been asleep for most of the day. Due to the meds he is on rabbit one has poo issues and that is all over the place. It is disgusting and constant and not improving as the vet thought it would. He will go to the vets tomorrow - it is not an emergency, he is still eating and grooming himself. Rabbit 2 is eating the wallpaper at an alarming rate. I am hungry. But I am always hungry on Sundays. 

Sun_Addict

Could you make a list of what needs doing then chip away at it bit by bit? Might not seem so daunting then. 

Take care and have a good week xx

Buffythedebtslayer

I think I will make a list. I need some control in my life. I wrote a post that was essentially self pitying. I feel better for having written it but it didn't need to stay. 
I need to sort lunch stuff, I may or may not have bought a new flask and lunch bag (I am going to have very limited access to kettles and fridges) and they need sorting. I hoovered and put away washing. All poo has been cleared up for now. Thank God it was only in their area. 
I think I have figured out a way to do the roof. I have seen other people do it this way. It is another 76 pounds. I shall leave ordering it for a few days and do some measuring. 
XXX 

Buffythedebtslayer

So tired. 
But am ok. Work is taking over and it is lovely cos I don't have to think about anything for a bit. 

Buffythedebtslayer

I am exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally done. Work was so busy. It is good to be back but I feel so rough. so utterly done. 
The roofing arrived for the rabbit housing, so I shall get on that this weekend. I have had ..........words with mum. I feel like a whinning child as so often happens when I argue with her. We haven't done it for ages.  I am so tired of it. So tired. I am lonely and exhausted and just want some happiness. I am sick to death of qualifying everything I say with I know it isn't as bad X or Y or I choose this. I know. I don't need reminding. and I don't just mean because of the virus. In real life I try so hard to stay positive and grateful and keep going and honestly I do understand my sister is having the most terrible time and my friends- everyone is suffering but somehow I don't. I am fine. I don't have to have a partner or any fun and I am just supposed to run around and do everything that needs to be done. The negativity I have to deal with is overwhelming and wearing. I missed out on so much and am beyond even being miserable and angry about it now. am simply tired and wondering what the point of it all it. 

Although I had built the emergency fund up to 3100 I have decided to move 2000 to the account I sort of forget about. I paid for the vets with PPI money. I must redouble my efforts to save enough money to buy my own place. I have replaced the pond filter, got everything I need I finish the garden and my bedroom. I have almost a 1000 saved from Christmas and intend not to spend it all. I should be able to put more away in the savings account. Much more. I can and will do this. 

XX
 

beanielou

Buffy. 

Sorry you are finding things tough. 

Can I make a wee suggestion & feel free to ignore me. Could you go for a wee while without having to buy things for the fish pond or the rabbit? Sorry I don’t understand why you have to keep doing things as cats are different. 

I hope you can enjoy your weekend 😊. Xx

ceremony

Sorry you're having a tough time. I know how it feels to have an overwhelming list of stuff to tackle.  Anything you get done is a step forward though. You're getting there!

It's OK to set boundaries with family. I think people get so lost in their own struggles they lean on other people without thinking about it. It's understandable to want to help but it's also understandable to feel burnt out sometimes. You can't look after anyone if you've got nothing left to give.

Jellytotts

I'm with Beanie, the amount of money spent on your pets is huge.  I appreciate pets are a lovely thing to have but not at the cost of your dream to live alone.  They are a huge drain on your time and money and I'm not sure the benefits outweigh the hassle you constantly seem to have.  Might be time to stop rescuing any more and start simplifying your set ups ready to move.

What will happen with your Mum when you do move on? Is she able to keep the dogs and walk them with her health issues?  Will she look at moving too?  

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

Buffy. 

Sorry you are finding things tough. 

Can I make a wee suggestion & feel free to ignore me. Could you go for a wee while without having to buy things for the fish pond or the rabbit? Sorry I don’t understand why you have to keep doing things as cats are different. 

I hope you can enjoy your weekend 😊. Xx

Yeah unfortunately rabbits are hugely expensive (unless you just stick them in a hutch.) the main problem has been the roof (and the initial poor shed build) being blown away three times so each time it needs replacing. I do think the pets are a drain on the finances for sure. And I don't think I will "rescue" any more - I don't technically rescue them as they are just unwanted pets via the free ads. People who run rabbit rescues near me won't adopt out if you have a dog, job or won't let them home visit - too much hassle frankly.  My feeling/hope at the moment is won't need to pay out any more for a while. But I think my boy rabbit won't last too much longer and my girl rabbit would then be alone so I have that  situation, in that she cannot live alone. It is really !!!!!! to be honest as the rabbits are a hassle, I will say I have been so unlucky with them. I wouldn't recommend them as a pet unless you hare fully prepared in terms of housing, and have access to a very good vet. Also, having them live inside is just frankly disgusting in my experience. I liked it when my other pair were outside, tho the shed in the dead of winter was hard work! The fish pond was me yet again doing a half arsed job of setting the filter up and it being cooked by the sun for two years. 
The dogs don't need walking much - we have a big garden and one is highly nervous of being outside due to next door's dog and life in general.  I would come round a lot I would imagine. I love my guinea pigs. Never mention them do I ? Probably cursed myself now. 
In a fit of doing what she wants Mum booked the door man (we need a new back door I am not paying for this) for Sunday at ten. Thanks. Had one of the most stressful weeks of my life at work and we already had the electrician round this morning and the horror of the house is immense. And I still have to get up and round around like a blue arsed fly. 
And mum definitely would not move. I think as mean as this sounds she is at best stubborn and either doesn't or can't think of consequences of anything she does. I don't just mean the door thing! I mean bigger stuff. It is partly her age obviously, she forgets so much these days and I do get frustrated and have no one to talk to. But in a very frank conversation with my sister a few weeks ago we shared that she is also completely convinced and always has been that she is right and anyone who deviates from her view is wrong which is quite a black and white way to live and really limiting in terms of new ideas, new people, new ways to live.  She just doesn't want to do anything and that is fine for her but the house is starting to fall apart.  I honestly don't think I ever realised how many times I stayed at work or went to see friends and stayed over just because I needed a break. Before B in L got sick it wasn't so bad as although they weren't hugely helpful with practical stuff they did spend time with her (and don't get all naff and soppy and say that was more important, I remember only too well the trouble I had with things breaking etc and having to wait till she was in the US to get them fixed cos she and they wouldn't have people in the house - I mean this whole door bloke and leccy is real progress here!)and I did go away more and see friends more. I think now tho they all have (more) kids and they do family stuff and it is a bit weird when your single barren mate turns up to that.  
I am making plans to see friends on Thursday - socially distanced  in front gardens as a weekly thing - different friends ( I do have enough!!). Thursday have been chosen so I can focus on the house (garden, my room) on the weekends.  MUST get myself out of the funk I am in. 
thank you for your kind replies guys.  I nearly didn't post last night as I was so upset and feeling quite vulnerable. I really appreciate the support and ideas XX
XXX