A Year in the Life of...

beanielou

girlatplay wrote: »

Mine stem from childhood too. My best friend at primary school was ridiculously thin. I was normal. I thought I was huge compared to her. I got called a name one day by her brother and I laughed it off. I've been in denial for years but, since today is my "confess all on MSE" day, I can now say that it has affected my life ever since. I think that some of my health issues have come from not looking after myself, which stemmed from that one comment which was meant as a joke.

The PMR isn't there anymore, it's a posh housing estate now!

I am so sad to read this:(

astrocytic_kitten

I agree with Glenda, you’re doing a great job dealing with a difficult set of circumstances. It’s interesting how many of the things we find difficult, though on the surface what to do seems obvious, hark back to childhood issues.

FYI, I have 20 cookbooks and am notorious amongst my friends for hating cooking and being terrible at it (I’m fairly vocal about my disasters). I’m gradually learning to make some of the meals I’d always buy as posh ready meals....but using the internet for the recipes.

savingholmes

I was stick thin as a child - but also blame problems in my childhood for over-eating now.

I think the good thing about diaries - and reading others where they are actually honest and don't whitewash like brag book - are that you have A-ha moments either reading your own writing or other people's. We are all in the same boat. Our individual issues may change but we all have them. I have a problem with food, over-eating, over-spending etc etc etc However when I set my mind to it - I also have the power to put great focus behind any desire to change and see it come to pass.

How could you change your more negative statements about yourself to something more positive? I think you are doing great living on a much more restricted budget than mine. You seem very disciplined now - even if you like the rest of us are seeking to rectify mistakes of the past. Ditch shame and blame it doesn't help - flip it and ask instead how you could improve something from here on in. A book I like is called - flip it by M. H. it says - why assigns blame - while how - is a question that can help you move forward.

You're doing great GAP

girlatplay

Thank you all for your kind words. I didn't expect that. I have to reply in two messages as it won't accept all the quotes in one.

GlendaSugarbean wrote: »

Oi, am de-lurking to say less of the 'becoming a better person' lark. You are great as you are, and what you are doing is figuring out how to make being you easier and less stressful. Including regular feeding and rest .

Thank you. I'm actually a much better person than I used to be. Let's say I need to keep improving as a person. I've managed to keep up the three meals a day resolution

beanielou wrote: »

[/B]

More's the pity. It was an amazing hospital & a centre of excellence.
When I was wee children came from all over the world & were sometimes there for months with no visitors.
I on the other hand had visitors every day each time I was there & still screamed the plave down when they went home:(

beanielou wrote: »

I am so sad to read this:(

It's tough being a child in hospital. I, luckily, don't have first hand experience of this, my health conditions came in adulthood. I did have to spend the night in RHSC with LMG once. Awful night for many reasons.

girlatplay

astrocytic_kitten wrote: »

I agree with Glenda, you’re doing a great job dealing with a difficult set of circumstances. It’s interesting how many of the things we find difficult, though on the surface what to do seems obvious, hark back to childhood issues.

FYI, I have 20 cookbooks and am notorious amongst my friends for hating cooking and being terrible at it (I’m fairly vocal about my disasters). I’m gradually learning to make some of the meals I’d always buy as posh ready meals....but using the internet for the recipes.

Thank you. Yes, I know exactly what I'm supposed to do (which would not cure but would ease) however; lazy. I didn't used to be able to cook, my Mum was a SAHM and did everything for us, but I taught myself through trial and error and now I love it. Laughably, I have 39 cookbooks and various recipes both printed and as photos on my phone but when I'm looking for something specific, unless I know where it is, I Google it! *shakes head in despair at self*

savingholmes wrote: »

I was stick thin as a child - but also blame problems in my childhood for over-eating now.

I think the good thing about diaries - and reading others where they are actually honest and don't whitewash like brag book - are that you have A-ha moments either reading your own writing or other people's. We are all in the same boat. Our individual issues may change but we all have them. I have a problem with food, over-eating, over-spending etc etc etc However when I set my mind to it - I also have the power to put great focus behind any desire to change and see it come to pass.

How could you change your more negative statements about yourself to something more positive? I think you are doing great living on a much more restricted budget than mine. You seem very disciplined now - even if you like the rest of us are seeking to rectify mistakes of the past. Ditch shame and blame it doesn't help - flip it and ask instead how you could improve something from here on in. A book I like is called - flip it by M. H. it says - why assigns blame - while how - is a question that can help you move forward.

You're doing great GAP

Thank you. It was your earlier comment that really made me open my eyes to myself.
To be honest, my grocery budget is £200 per month for myself and part time LMG so actually, it's big compared to some people. We had some tough times when LMG was little so this is luxury really. When I meal plan it really stretches.
I didn't realise my statements about myself were negative. I am lazy in the house, there's no whitewashing that haha (but I'm working on it as of yesterday).

One of my big problems is the mental health side of things. I'm feeling brighter now that I'm over the most recent batch of ill health so I need to keep this mindset as long as possible.

beanielou

I think mental health can be a problem for those of us with physical problems.
It is well documeted sadly.

girlatplay

beanielou wrote: »

I think mental health can be a problem for those of us with physical problems.
It is well documeted sadly.

I believe you are right. It's hard trying to hold it together physically, that in itself takes a toll on the mental health.

girlatplay

Okay, back to a happy diary again.

I have really taken things on board since yesterday and I've done LOADS in the house. Confessing all about my laziness seems to have given me the boot up the backside that I needed. Helps that I'm in an ok place in my head and body right now.

I've kept up with 3 meals a day and drinking plenty of water. I've just about kept up with clearing/getting rid of one thing from the flat each day, missed a couple of days but not giving up yet.

Cash grocery budget is gone. There is £21 left on the Asda card. I think I can stretch the food to the weekend and then I'll get next week's shop at Asda.

Picked up a stew pack for £1.50, broth mix for 70p and had some stock cubes in the house so I've made a big pot of soup which looks like at least 5 portions. I might be able to squeeze 6 out of it. That gives me lunch for the rest of the week plus a couple of portions for LMG if she wants them.

I made scones based on recipes from Veganish but with a sweet twist. LMG requested them and Lazy Me had laughed and said I am rubbish at baking (always have been) but New Me had had a bash at giant cheese and marmite scone and did ok so decided to surprise LMG. They are cooling as we speak and could be awful but at least I'm trying now. I have even done all of the dishes!!

We're having shop bought pizza for tea tonight (LMG is doing a special topping for us, she makes it like the pizzas we love from Pizza Express - I just have to get a great pizza dough recipe which I can manage and then we won't have to buy pizzas anymore). Tomorrow night is going to be a roast chicken dinner and I'm really looking forward to it. New Me might even give home made Yorkshire puddings a bash! Lazy Me has always said no when LMG has requested them, even though I really wanted them myself too.

Financially:
- the only change in the bank account is the transfer for the groceries
- nothing happening on the survey front today

I'm definitely feeling a bit more positive today

girlatplay

savingholmes wrote: »

...
A book I like is called - flip it by M. H. it says - why assigns blame - while how - is a question that can help you move forward.
...

I automatically went to Amazon to see how much this is but then New Me butted in with a brainwave (thank you beanielou) and I have now reserved both versions (there are two and I couldn't help myself) from my local library! Thank you savingholmes for the recommendation.

Also - jwil, I have frozen the red wine in a plastic cup. It is just under 100mls. It has frozen fine and I'll report again when I've used it (which might not be for a while). Thank you.

savingholmes

Glad you are feeling more positive. Let us know what you think of the book. Another good one (with cartoons!!!) is Sumo by Paul McGee. Enjoy