Money moral dilemma

mademoiselle_2

Well I think you are nuts to even consider throwing £750 at this 'friend'.

What kind of friend taps another friend, for money? No friend I would want! I think you have conceded that - despite your statement that he will pay you back - the money is never going to be returned. That adds lying to the list of non-friendly actions: he doesn't want to borrow off you, he wants you to give him £750.

Don't think that you are being a kind, caring, good friend, by going along with the 'can I borrow ' euphemism. You are enabling a user.

Someone has already very clearly pointed out that this will end in tears. Your so-called 'friend' has entitlement issues, and will feel aggrieved about, in principle, 'owing' you. Or worse: he will ask for more, once he sees how easy it is to part you from cash with a sob story!

There is a blimmin' good reason why there is the old adage, "neither a borrower, nor a lender, be". Because it's true!

NeilCr

mademoiselle wrote: »

Well I think you are nuts to even consider throwing £750 at this 'friend'.

What kind of friend taps another friend, for money? No friend I would want! I think you have conceded that - despite your statement that he will pay you back - the money is never going to be returned. That adds lying to the list of non-friendly actions: he doesn't want to borrow off you, he wants you to give him £750.

Don't think that you are being a kind, caring, good friend, by going along with the 'can I borrow ' euphemism. You are enabling a user.

Someone has already very clearly pointed out that this will end in tears. Your so-called 'friend' has entitlement issues, and will feel aggrieved about, in principle, 'owing' you. Or worse: he will ask for more, once he sees how easy it is to part you from cash with a sob story!

There is a blimmin' good reason why there is the old adage, "neither a borrower, nor a lender, be". Because it's true!

Eh?

I haven't conceded at all that he won't pay it back. He will - and he's not lying about that.

Really - I am happy to accept the differing views in this thread. I don't necessarily agree with some of them but that's part of the cut and thrust of forum life. But there is, seriously, no need for such a character assassination of someone you don't know. FWIW he has been a close friend for over fifty years and has never once asked me for money before this week.

getmore4less

As this seems to be a temporary cash flow crisis during a house move to pay some moving costs.

Cant the removal firm invoice the conveyancer to be paid from the proceeds of the sale?

hb2

getmore4less wrote: »

As this seems to be a temporary cash flow crisis during a house move to pay some moving costs.

Cant the removal firm invoice the conveyancer to be paid from the proceeds of the sale?

That sounds like a great idea, if it is possible.

Mnd

We have done this a few times (to family not friends) Always got the money back apart from one occasion when BIL, couldn't pay his rent one month. We paid it, never expected repayment have never asked for it. We are comfortable financially, this was probably 10 years ago, he has never asked again and we were happy to help.

If he was in the situation again which forced him to ask again, we would do it again without hesitation

Scorpio33

In my opinion, if a friend wanted a loan, I would always assume the worse and assume they won't pay it back and accept that. Then if they do pay it back, that is a bonus. The reason being is that you never know what is round the corner, and even if you are sure they will pay it back, there is still a possibility they won't and if that happens, it would cause resentment if I expected the money back.

So I would call it a loan, but in my head assume its a gift as friendship is more important than money.

So in that case, I wouldn't "lend" it, unless I could afford to lose the money.

I would also question why the friend couldn't get the loan elsewhere as coming to me usually raises red flags that they most likely wouldn't be lent the money from the normal routes. That in itself raises affordability questions.

NeilCr

getmore4less wrote: »

As this seems to be a temporary cash flow crisis during a house move to pay some moving costs.

Cant the removal firm invoice the conveyancer to be paid from the proceeds of the sale?

Yes. That's about right

From what I know as he is downsizing he is getting a house clearance firm in to take care of stuff he no longer wants. It would appear that they want paying there and then - plus there are other costs. I don't think the removal firm will be an issue.

There is considerable equity in the house so, once the move is completed, he will have ample to repay me with (if necessary).

Barny1979

NeilCr wrote: »

Yes. That's about right

From what I know as he is downsizing he is getting a house clearance firm in to take care of stuff he no longer wants. It would appear that they want paying there and then - plus there are other costs. I don't think the removal firm will be an issue.

There is considerable equity in the house so, once the move is completed, he will have ample to repay me with (if necessary).

Should have sold his items rather than pay a company to take them away