Money moral dilemma

NeilCr

Not through MSE HQ! - so you can get more context if needed

And more for the discussion...

A good friend of mine has asked me to lend him £750. It's to tide him through a difficult period - moving house - and, while, he is not great with money, I know he will pay it back.

I can afford it although it will mean digging into some investments but I have a general dislike for getting involved in financial transactions with friends. I sold my flat to my best mate and that wasn't the best experience. Fortunately (and because we are so close) the friendship survived

I think I know how I am going to handle this but what would you do?

74jax

You say, so I'm going off what you say, he will pay you back. You say you have the money.
So do you want to lend him the money or not?

If it was me, I wouldn't. I wouldn't touch investments for the benefit of someone else, if I wouldn't have touched them for the benefit of me...... But that's me.

I think you need to say if you want to, then we can maybe help with practicalities, or if you don't and we can help with what to say to him.

JReacher1

(1) You can afford it.
(2) This is a good friend going through a difficult period who needs the money.
(3) you are very confident they will pay it back.

I don’t see why you wouldn’t give lend them the money. It’s what I think a good friend should do.

Slinky

If you resign yourself to not getting it back, and you can live with that, and with your friendship not being affected by it go ahead. Trouble is, your relationship will probably be affected whether you do, or whether you don't.

comeandgo

He is your friend, he is in need, you have what he needs. I would be lending him the money. My brother who is a much nicer person than me would gift him the money.

*max*

I'm of the opinion that I would never lend what I cannot afford to never get back. I know that I would not be prepared to drag a friend through court to get the money back, so I would only lend small amounts that I would not miss too much. If they pay it back, I'll see it as a bonus really, but I would not lose any sleep over it if they don't (I would still be annoyed, mind you!).

If you are having to dig into investments for that amount, can you really afford to never get it back? That's what you should ask yourself I think.

Abbafan1972

By what you say, it sounds like you are confident he will pay it back.

But you obviously have doubts about it, otherwise you wouldn't be asking here.

Personally, I wouldn't. But I don't trust anyone enough not to take me for a ride.

boliston

I would never dream of asking for the money back - if i could afford to lend him the money i would gift it as that would avoid any awkwardness, but i would NEVER get involved with lending money that i needed back

Barny1979

Is there any agreement proposed in writing, interest paid on the amount, as I presume there will be penalties on withdrawing from your investments.

NeilCr

JReacher1 wrote: »

(1) You can afford it.
(2) This is a good friend going through a difficult period who needs the money.
(3) you are very confident they will pay it back.

I don’t see why you wouldn’t give lend them the money. It’s what I think a good friend should do.

74jax wrote: »

You say, so I'm going off what you say, he will pay you back. You say you have the money.
So do you want to lend him the money or not?

If it was me, I wouldn't. I wouldn't touch investments for the benefit of someone else, if I wouldn't have touched them for the benefit of me...... But that's me.

I think you need to say if you want to, then we can maybe help with practicalities, or if you don't and we can help with what to say to him.

The practicalities of getting the money out could be a problem time wise. That's something I have to chat with my IFA about. I am fine about what I say to him one way or the other

I guess it's the underlying issue of getting involved with a friend, financially, which is the problem


And, yes, I totally get the not touching the investments even for me point.

NeilCr

Barny1979 wrote: »

Is there any agreement proposed in writing, interest paid on the amount, as I presume there will be penalties on withdrawing from your investments.

I, really, wouldn't get into a written agreement (whether or not that is sensible!) Sure there could be a financial loss, interest wise, but that's not something that would concern me