Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to give second-hand gifts?

VALM

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Wow, ok, sorry to say it but if she’s a bad gift giver then you are just as bad a gift receiver!

A third hand scarf you don’t like is not a very nice gift, why don’t you just give that to charity and give your sister something that’s actually chosen for her rather than something you just want to get rid of?

If your sister loved scarves and you’d seen a gorgeous vintage one in a second hand shop then THAT would be a great example of a good second hand gift.

Not really, as it’s not a main gift. It’s in excellent condition as it’s never been worn and she will wear it. If she wouldn’t wear it, I wouldn’t give it to her so don’t see your point.

onwards&upwards

VALM wrote: »

Not really, as it’s not a main gift. It’s in excellent condition as it’s never been worn and she will wear it. If she wouldn’t wear it, I wouldn’t give it to her so don’t see your point.

I’d have just given it to her rather than make it a Xmas gift. That said I don’t know your financial situation.

I was also referring to the very ungracious reaction to her present to you. What happened to just saying thank you! :rotfl:

VALM

onwards&upwards wrote: »

I’d have just given it to her rather than make it a Xmas gift. That said I don’t know your financial situation.

I was also referring to the very ungracious reaction to her present to you. What happened to just saying thank you! :rotfl:

I think it’s better to be honest with people and not have them waste their money on unwanted gifts. This is a MSE Forum after all! You’re right, you don’t know my financial position nor were you there when I had the conversation. It was not an act of ingratitude but honesty.

onwards&upwards

VALM wrote: »

It was not an act of ingratitude but honesty.

They aren’t mutually exclusive

Crater

There is a lot of fantastic second hand and vintage stuff out there. If I do buy it for a gift, though, I am not totally open about it and might say I got it in the market. (This is OK apparently.) Some people will bridle if they think something is second hand where they wouldn't if they didn't. I think that is strange, but there you are.



As long as it's not tat, obviously. I may not always be a great judge, as I am happy, for example, with second hand books (eg Amazon New and Used, which are largely second hand) but I notice there are people who feel uneasy buying them unless they are "rare books".


I think it's a good idea but not a no-brainer.

Mrs_Z

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Yeah I don’t get it, it’s a perfectly reasonable inexpensive gift. I can’t work out how it’s an insult, unless the poster thinks that only spending £3 is inherently insulting, which is not very MSE!

I didnt mind the lights per se as a gift idea. It was the way it came across - it seemed to me that the friend had felt obliged to buy something and then 'stretched' to £3. If you are to get a gift, then at least get a decent one, not some cheap plastic discount stuff from the local supermarket. If you can't bring yourself to buy a decent gift, then don't get one at all but don't try to pass a cheap one for a decent one. Quality not quantity.

Pollycat

Shamsan wrote: »

There is a lot of fantastic second hand and vintage stuff out there. If I do buy it for a gift, though, I am not totally open about it and might say I got it in the market. (This is OK apparently.) Some people will bridle if they think something is second hand where they wouldn't if they didn't. I think that is strange, but there you are.



As long as it's not tat, obviously. I may not always be a great judge, as I am happy, for example, with second hand books (eg Amazon New and Used, which are largely second hand) but I notice there are people who feel uneasy buying them unless they are "rare books".


I think it's a good idea but not a no-brainer.

I think it is a no-brainer if you know the recipient really well and know they would appreciate a thoughtful gift even if it is second-hand.

I'd never lie about a gift being second-hand.
To me that's being underhand.
It's not necessary.
Either be honest and say you've bought a second hand gift or if you're positive the recipient won't appreciate it, buy new.

Pollycat

Mrs_Z wrote: »

I didnt mind the lights per se as a gift idea. It was the way it came across - it seemed to me that the friend had felt obliged to buy something and then 'stretched' to £3. If you are to get a gift, then at least get a decent one, not some cheap plastic discount stuff from the local supermarket. If you can't bring yourself to buy a decent gift, then don't get one at all but don't try to pass a cheap one for a decent one. Quality not quantity.

What happened to 'it's the thought that counts'?

Or does it only count if a certain amount of money has been spent?

onwards&upwards

Mrs_Z wrote: »

I didnt mind the lights per se as a gift idea. It was the way it came across - it seemed to me that the friend had felt obliged to buy something and then 'stretched' to £3. If you are to get a gift, then at least get a decent one, not some cheap plastic discount stuff from the local supermarket. If you can't bring yourself to buy a decent gift, then don't get one at all but don't try to pass a cheap one for a decent one. Quality not quantity.

Just wow. :eek:

Mrs_Z

Pollycat wrote: »

What happened to 'it's the thought that counts'?

Well, in this case I really did think the person was being urm.. what's the word.. a cheapskate. Had it been a secret Santa with £5 limit, it'd been fine. Hey ho, maybe it's my turn to raise up to the challenge (how cheap you can make it) and see what I can source from the local supermarket for their Xmas gift :rotfl: