Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK to give second-hand gifts?

Mrs_Z

Like others have said, depends on the gift and recipient. I once received 3 (new) solar power garden lights as a welcome gift to our new home. I thought they were a bit unusual choice and later saw the very same ones at local super market for £1 each. At that point, I got the feeling that the person had bought them because they felt obliged to bring something and I felt insulted to be honest, card only would have been much better option.

onwards&upwards

Mrs_Z wrote: »

Like others have said, depends on the gift and recipient. I once received 3 (new) solar power garden lights as a welcome gift to our new home. I thought they were a bit unusual choice and later saw the very same ones at local super market for £1 each. At that point, I got the feeling that the person had bought them because they felt obliged to bring something and I felt insulted to be honest, card only would have been much better option.

Why insulted? A lot of people like those solar lights.

ShaunOfTheDead78

of course it's fine

better for the environment and the pocket!

a few years i bought my mother a massive cironation st tea-pot from a charity shop,which she loves and still uses.

for xmas i've bought the offspring a nintendo switch,boxed with games from ebay for much less than buying new. i couldnt afford it otherwise,it's immaculate, and the seller has money to buy her xmas gifts,winner all round i say

Pollycat

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Why insulted? A lot of people like those solar lights.

I don't think I'd feel insulted in that situation either.
I certainly don't think I'd prefer someone not to bring a (housewarming) gift rather than bring 3 solar lights.

onwards&upwards

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't think I'd feel insulted in that situation either.
I certainly don't think I'd prefer someone not to bring a (housewarming) gift rather than bring 3 solar lights.

Yeah I don’t get it, it’s a perfectly reasonable inexpensive gift. I can’t work out how it’s an insult, unless the poster thinks that only spending £3 is inherently insulting, which is not very MSE!

LouiseBusyBee

I often give vintage from eBay. Last year my MiL got a vintage elephant brooch, the year before that a 50s silk scarf from a vintage seller on Etsy. My husband one year on his birthday got a silver antique wine salver, also eBay. Those were all technically "second-hand". Hunt carefully and choose wisely.

fudgecat

Christmas
Reduce - we do an Elfster each year for the adults. You can wish for three things - set a monetary amount and then are paired up. Everyone gets something they want that is decent and no-one spends more than the agreed amount. Has worked brilliantly for the last three years. Kids are separate.
Reuse and Recycle
Grandaughter has received 2nd hand before and will this Christmas. That way I can get her something really good (Schleich stables and all accessories) which I could not afford otherwise. In addition to Elfster "secret santa" we also buy each other a jokey present (max value £2.00) that comes from a Charity shop. That has often been the best Christmas present!

gloriouslyhappy

Pollycat wrote: »

Indeed.
For my sister's significant birthday, I found a piece of silver jewellery that was hallmarked with the year she was born.
I knew she'd love it and also appreciate the thought and effort that went into the gift.

What a clever and thoughtful idea!

One of the best presents I ever received was an album made up of photos I'd sent over the years, with little captions reminding me of good times either on family occasions, my achievements or away travelling, put together by my sister and her children for my significent birthday. Fascinating to be reminded of all these occasions, only cost them the price of the album, but what a lot of time and love went into this gift which I cherish the most of all the gifts received that birthday.

VALM

Yes and I am this year. I always put a hamper of gifts together for my sister as well as the gift card we agreed we would buy each other some years ago. I do this because she is alone and it gives her something to open when she visits us on Christmas Day. I’m giving her, as part of her gift, a scarf that my daughter gave to me (but not as a gift). My daughter saw I was giving it to my sister and was put out that I would pass it on but my sister will wear it whereas my daughter and I did not.

We started the gift card giving because my sister is an awful gift buyer. She buys what she would like and not the recipient. It came to a head when she bought me a china mug and key ring from Harrods. She hinted beforehand that she had spent a considerable amount because it was from Harrods. I told her that the cost of it doesn’t matter if the gift is unwanted and because she collects key rings doesn’t mean I would appreciate it, that ultimately it had become a waste of her money.

onwards&upwards

VALM wrote: »

Yes and I am this year. I always put a hamper of gifts together for my sister as well as the gift card we agreed we would buy each other some years ago. I do this because she is alone and it gives her something to open when she visits us on Christmas Day. I’m giving her, as part of her gift, a scarf that my daughter gave to me (but not as a gift). My daughter saw I was giving it to my sister and was put out that I would pass it on but my sister will wear it whereas my daughter and I did not.

We started the gift card giving because my sister is an awful gift buyer. She buys what she would like and not the recipient. It came to a head when she bought me a china mug and key ring from Harrods. She hinted beforehand that she had spent a considerable amount because it was from Harrods. I told her that the cost of it doesn’t matter if the gift is unwanted and because she collects key rings doesn’t mean I would appreciate it, that ultimately it had become a waste of her money.

Wow, ok, sorry to say it but if she’s a bad gift giver then you are just as bad a gift receiver!

A third hand scarf you don’t like is not a very nice gift, why don’t you just give that to charity and give your sister something that’s actually chosen for her rather than something you just want to get rid of?

If your sister loved scarves and you’d seen a gorgeous vintage one in a second hand shop then THAT would be a great example of a good second hand gift.