Keeping Going For My Furbabies

[Deleted User]

Oh gosh just caught up, that must have all been unbelievably stressful! Glad you're home now with the cats xxx

astrocytic_kitten

Thinking of you @StartingAgainAt29, hope things are going as ok as they can be right now x

StartingAgainAt29

Hi @astrocytic_kitten thanks for checking in on me!

I'm doing ok, tbh I've spent the past week mostly sleeping - I can't believe how many hours a day I've slept and then managed to nap, AND sleep again the next night! I've just felt exhausted, like it's all caught up with me. I finished the steroids on Friday, they didn't make me hungry actually they did the opposite. I just now feel like my system is getting back to normal, today I've actually felt hungry again and able to eat 3 meals. I went for a walk yesterday with my mum and went for another today, just 20 minutes but it gets me moving a bit more. Any task I've done I've felt exhausted after so I need to build up my fitness again.

Money-wise I was miffed to realise I didn't come home with my earphones from hospital, either lost or stolen not sure. They were £24.99 to replace, annoying but I'm not going to sweat it. I spent £40 in Aldi today, did a HUGE shop with treats etc to try and curb the tempation to order in. I haven't done so since I came back from hospital but it's so easy to think "Oh I don't have anything I really fancy let me order something". If I want someone on Saturday I'll let myself. I got another Simply Cook box so I made one of the meals tonight, and will have the second portion tomorrow. Today I am just starting to feel a bit more normal, I washed my hair, put on some makeup, got dressed for the shop etc. I felt very overwhelmed in the shop though with my mask on, with kids running everywhere and screaming. Had to take deep breaths so I didn't run out of there! I think my black spot plus the mask just made me feel claustraphobic.

I got sent another bunch of flowers, this time from my uni friends which is lovely. Shame my flat is so hot though as it's cooking them! I have good news re: my eye, while it is nowhere near back to normal the black part of my vision is improving day by day, it's just in the middle now, I have my top periphery back it gives me hope that it will go back to normal even if it takes a few months. I have my lumbar puncture on Friday, not sure if I'll get results that day or not but I'm not looking forward to it as I know they're uncomfortable, and I really don't want to be back in the hospital but needs must. Although it's not confirmed I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I have MS, all the signs point that way, if it is then I'm lucky I've got a diagnosis so quickly as there is a lot they can do nowadays and not having the diagnosis part to worry about means I can get help quicker if necessary.

Oh yeah, ex was a bit pushy and wanted an EA round last weekend, I had to put my foot down and tell him it's dangerous as my immune system was compromised from the steroids. I already felt like I was getting ill so didn't need the risk of a stranger in here. Plus he told me he'd been into London etc so even he hasn't been careful. He's done the whole "I know you've got a lot on but I need to think about my part of this", I get it, but I have to be selfish right now. He's abroad right now I think for work, he said he wanted an EA round when he gets back so I'll go along with that.

I think that's it for now, I'm not sure if I'll be on before my lumbar puncture, so I hope you all have a good week and I'll update you soon

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the update, been thinking of you here too! You sound really positive, and good news about your vision too. Less said about the ex the better, but hope the boys are keeping you in good company and enjoying the extra naps 😀 Good luck for Friday, lots of deep breaths and you’ll get through it. Maybe line up something nice to reward yourself with on Friday night too. Take care! 

Tahlullah.H

Hi SAA29, just caught up with your diary. So sorry to hear about the poor health and really hoping it isn't MS although I love your resolve and acceptance if it is.

Keep looking after yourself and ignore the ex.  Right now, he really isn't worth expending your energy on.

Thanks for taking the time to keep us updated.  Positive thoughts to you.

Tx

Chrystal

Hope everything is OK?  Sending (((hugs))) X

StartingAgainAt29

Hi everyone, jumping on on my phone so will be quick.
The lumbar puncture on Friday went as well as could be expected, the doctor was obviously very competent and although it was uncomfortable there was minimal pain. The results for MS take a few weeks so I should be seeing the consultant in a months' time.

I've since been suffering with a low pressure headache, which is to be expected except I don't think they are meant to be as severe as mine are. That plus I have a pressure behind my left eye (my bad eye) which means I'm pretty concerned. I phoned the consultant earlier today but did not hear back which is frustrating. I'm feeling like this is yet another thing that's preventing me from carrying on with my life. I'm hoping that if I lie flat long enough the headaches will ease but lying flat isn't always convenient! 
Hopefully I will feel well enough to do a full update soon. 

Chrystal

Get some rest honey and take care of yourself.  (((hugs))) X

astrocytic_kitten

Take care xx

StartingAgainAt29

Hi everyone, I didn't mean to leave it this long before a proper update. I only just started to feel more normal by Thursday, I've done yoga a couple of times, I even did my Saturday zoom yoga yesterday and boy did she work us hard! Feels great being active again.

Money-wise I got back paid on Friday. While tidying up I found a £25 giftcard from work from last year, forgot all about it. I gave it to my mum and she gave me the money, so I did a little Korean skincare haul, I topped it up with my own money. I love skincare and it feels like a real treat. I saw my dad today for the first time since lockdown, and he gave me some birthday money. I turn 30 tomorrow! I hope my 30's are better than my 20's!

So Friday my mum and I spent the morning cleaning the flat as I had an estate agent come round yesterday. It's interesting as the flat below us, with the exact same layout etc, has come back on the market. The EA said people would prefer to buy our flat as it's at the top of the building. The price he thinks he can get would be good as it would cover the sale costs and we could potentially walk away with a couple of grand each. Time will tell, I'll call the guy tomorrow to get the process started. My mum has a builder coming in October to do the conversion for me to move back, so whatever happens with the sale I have to be able to stay here until that's done.

So for my bday I'm going with my mum and brothers to a restaurant not far from us, I used to go there with ex but it's a lovely restaurant and the menu covers all of us which is difficult (my mum can't digest veggies but she doesn't eat meat!) It will be the first time since lockdown that I'll be able to get dolled up and out on the town, I'm really looking forward to it. We'll be having drinks at mine after. So that means I need to go to Aldi tomorrow to pick up my weekly shop and some booze. I drove today for the first time since I lost my vision, I couldn't believe that legally I was able to drive when my eye was bad, I didn't as I couldn't face having an accident and possibly hurting someone.

I need to start thinking about how I'll survive once my payments run out (last one in September and that will be a partial payment). So I'll be ok to cover most of October's payments (topping up with my savings, I have around £1k atm in various pots), but after that I won't be able to. I've decided if push comes to shove I'll go back into retail for a while, maybe a supermarket or something. I'm hesitant to jump straight into working this month because I don't want to get stressed and tip myself over the edge again. I will feel more comfortable once I have seen the consultant with the results of my lumbar puncture.

I feel really drowsy tonight so I'm going to get an early night. I hope you have all been well, thank you so much for your support