Fairness with Finances

FBaby

I disagree with the majority. It sounds like you trust your OH but maybe a bit too much. I do find it strange that she would control all the money, decides herself what is left for you to spend, and then transfers what she wants into savings accounts that is in her name only. Then she tells you off for replacing a computer after 7 years. All this rings alarm bells to me, and if it was my friend telling me this, and maybe had seen also some behaviours that I thought odd, I would be concerned with my friend.

Ultimately, there is no reason why the saving accounts are in her name only. Yes, you both need to go to the bank to open one together but why wasn't that done in the first place?

There is nothing wrong having separate accounts as there's nothing wrong sharing everything, but the way you describe it, it sounds like it's not a case of sharing but a case of your wife controlling it all.

Happier_Me

Your situation doesn't sound odd to me, it's very much like our set up. We both earn similar amounts, which goes into the one pot but I manage it all. He is not in the slightest bit interested and, if I'm honest, I think he is far too trusting. I could be living a double life on our 'savings', but fortunately for him, I haven't got the energy:D

To demonstrate how disinterested he is in our finances, I've just asked him which bank our current account is with and his answer was 'I haven't got a clue!'.

Our back up plan is a password protected spreadsheet which holds our account details. I make him access the spreadsheet occasionally just to be sure he hasn't forgotten the password, a bit like a financial version of a fire drill.

If you're happy with your arrangement then there is no problem, but I would be sure you show a bit of interest and have access to everything online.

hieveryone

Your setup sounds exactly like ours.

All salaries get paid into our joint account. I then divvy it up between savings, savings for our son, car savings, pay off credit cards, pay household stuff (bins, windows etc).

I then transfer out money to my husbands bank account and my bank account and that's our 'spends'. Neither of us ever question what the other has bought with our spends.

It works for us and my husband earns 5 times more than me.

FBaby

For those who have that same arrangement, do you have all savings accounts in your name only? Do you have a go at your partner if they spend their money on a computer that needs replacing (when there's clearly enough money going around if funds are redirected to savings every month)?

This to me is pure controlling behaviour, but then I guess it's only controlling when you're the one being controlled.

onwards&upwards

FBaby wrote: »

Ultimately, there is no reason why the saving accounts are in her name only. Yes, you both need to go to the bank to open one together but why wasn't that done in the first place?

That’s what I thought initially but other posters have pointed out that to get the best rates/deals on savings sometimes joint names isn’t possible. Such as ISAs.

I’m sure some could go in his name if he feels it’s important though.

Marvel1

I would not be entirely happy if the household money was put into a solo savings's account and not joint.

She could just walk out and have all the savings.

Tigsteroonie

I wanted Marley and me to have a joint savings account but found that we couldn't open one online with our current bank despite both of us having our individual current accounts with the same bank. We could open individual savings with no further ID but they couldn't link the two of us to open a joint account without further ID. Stupid system.

Gycraig

Samsonite1 wrote: »

You are all right in a way and thank you for the responses. I do get to see the finances on a regular basis, and if I asked for any I would get it with good reason. I guess there are not huge issues, but perhaps the illness aspect might make things trickier. Having said that, at least money is only transferred to savings manually, so by default all my earnings would carry on coming to the main account.

No trust issues as such. I guess my wife trusts me less, although I have no history of spending money wildly! I bought a new computer after having the same one for 7 years and I got a serious telling off!

This here is the problem. You earn more and graft yet get a telling off for spending a percentage of the savings which sound healthy. Does she explain her purchases to you ?