Fairness with Finances

pramsay13

We have a similar set up to yours although most of the savings accounts etc are in my name, purely because I visit this website and it is easier to apply for something in my own name than for me to organise to get my wife to do it

We have a shared spreadsheet with a note of the account details so if anything goes wrong she would be able to access it.

I have set up all the accounts on money dashboard and she can access that so if she wants a total on any account it's easy enough for her to check.

Pollycat

Samsonite1 wrote: »

You are all right in a way and thank you for the responses. I do get to see the finances on a regular basis, and if I asked for any I would get it with good reason. I guess there are not huge issues, but perhaps the illness aspect might make things trickier. Having said that, at least money is only transferred to savings manually, so by default all my earnings would carry on coming to the main account.

No trust issues as such. I guess my wife trusts me less, although I have no history of spending money wildly! I bought a new computer after having the same one for 7 years and I got a serious telling off!

Why does she trust you less than you trust her?
Especially if you don't have a habit of 'spending money wildly'.
I could understand it if you had a history of running up debts but that doesn't sound like the case.
Mistrust when there is no reason would be a worry for me.

warby68

You've been given some food for thought and reviewing after 20 years is not unreasonable.

Your wife has run the money with no problems for those 20 years - its most likely that it is the way it is as she has just used accounts she had and the trust is implicit and it works. The inference she might be trying to hide something is far less likely. Have you ever asked for access? I think a credit card with a high limit says she trusts you, disagreeing with one large purchase is not a trust issue.

Contingency planning for illness or the future is a good way to open up the discussion with your wife. Mentioning what your friends have said is certainly not. You should probably have access to accounts for the 'what if' scenarios and individual savings accounts can be worthwhile now not all savings interest is taxable.

If your wife's responses worry you then that would be the time for concern. If she is very prudent and feels like she has carried this burden for 20 years she might be a little sensitive at being suddenly questioned but you should be able to get past that.

Sea_Shell

We organise our finances in much the same way. Neither of us have "own spends" accounts. I manage everything, but provide spreadsheets and updates monthly.

We do have multiple accounts in each others named though (ISAs, TSB and Reg Savers) to maximise interest, so in the event of incapacity, hubby does have access to "his" money.

Anything we want gets bought!

If you're both on the same page and it's working for you, ignore what others might do.

[Deleted User]

Why are you discussing the family finances with your friends in such detail? Is it because you're not happy with the status quo? How have you ended up in the situation where your wife is in control of the finances, has she always wanted to control the purse strings or have you never shown any interest in dealing with mortgages and bill payments?

Is there a sound financial reason for savings accounts being solely in your wife's name such as paying less tax on the interest although with the recent tax changes that may be less of an issue now.

I would think a large purchase such as a new computer would maybe warrant a discussion ahead of the purchase when finances are joint which is perhaps why your wife would have been annoyed. It could have thrown the budget out.

kate.80

I can see this from the other side as I’m the wife in this situation. Both wages go into a joint account, we each get an allowance transferred into a personal account, money for bills stays in the joint account and the excess gets funnelled into various savings accounts. The savings accounts are all in my name purely because I’m the one that set them up however in my head this is ‘our’ money.

I guess the only difference is that you have a credit card rather than a bank account for your own personal use. I real terms, what’s the difference though? You can spend money when you want on whatever you want within reason. Any big purchases in our family also warrant a bit of prior discussion & agreement.

I keep track of the finances with a spreadsheet which hubby can see any time he wants (he never does). He’s happy with our standard of living, happy with the amount of savings we have & the ability to buy nice things & take holidays because we have savings. It’s also one less thing for him to have to deal with.

If your friends comments have raised real concerns for you then speak to your wife, even if it’s just around how to access the accounts in the event of illness or death. If you’re happy with the way the finances are handled, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it’.

trailingspouse

Open a savings account in your own name.



Her reaction to you doing that will tell you all you need to know about whether your current set up is a problem or not.


And I do seriously think you need to 'lean in' and start being involved in the family finances, if only so that you know what's what if you ever find yourself on your own. This article - https://sixtyandme.com/are-you-financially-savvy-here-are-11-tips-every-older-woman-can-use/ was aimed at older women, but much of it would apply to anyone who doesn't look after the finances in a relationship - particularly the bit about financial abuse at the end.

onwards&upwards

I hate to be morbid, but one benefit of having savings accounts in joint names is that, should one of the account holders die, the money just becomes solely the property of the surviving account holder, not part of the deceased’s person’s estate. That can make things a hell of a lot simpler at a very stressful time.

Be careful how you phrase that to your wife though, and don’t get a huge life insurance policy on her with you as the recipient at the same time, or it could look a bit dodge!

zagfles

onwards&upwards wrote: »

I hate to be morbid, but one benefit of having savings accounts in joint names is that, should one of the account holders die, the money just becomes solely the property of the surviving account holder, not part of the deceased’s person’s estate. That can make things a hell of a lot simpler at a very stressful time.

Be careful how you phrase that to your wife though, and don’t get a huge life insurance policy on her with you as the recipient at the same time, or it could look a bit dodge!

Yes joint accounts should be the default, but accounts like ISAs and pensions can't be joint, and sometimes it's best to have 2 single accounts eg regular savers, which always have low limits, as you can then put twice as much in.

Also might be tax reasons to have accounts in the lower earner's name, don't make the mistake of assuming the savings allowance will always protect you, for instance if your income is close to £50k any interest (other than ISAs) that pushes you over could lose the tranferrable marriage allowance, be subject to the high income child benefit charge etc, even if you only earn a few £ interest.

rach_k

As others have said, if you're happy and it's working, I'd see no need to change things much. You might like to add your name to savings accounts to make admin easier as you get older, or perhaps open a savings account of your own just so you have something to fall back on, but I wouldn't say it was something you need to do.

Is there a tax benefit to the savings being in your wife's name? I don't pay tax on any interest earned so it would make sense for my family's savings to be in my accounts. That said, I think half of 'my' savings accounts are actually joint; the husband just doesn't bother looking at them as they're for small things like kids' shoes!