Is my mom charging too much?

gettingtheresometime

Well one way of looking at things that if you were a student in a brick university, more than likely the only accommodation a student could realistically afford is in shared accommodation.


So you looking at a one bedroom accommodation is perhaps unrealistic.


So you may have 3 options:


1) suck up the situation with your mum until you can afford a place of your own.


2) rent a room in an existing house-share


3) rent accommodation that has more than one room and (with the landlord's agreement) set up your own house-share

Mica98

Tbf if I did move into a house share, it might help with my social skills and independence, I might look into it again

Mica98

The Dyson isn't something I wanted to buy as it is £400 but my mom can sometimes guilt trip me with the "look at everything I've done for you" which is true but it isn't something I could really afford but ofc the guilt trip worked and now I'm struggling. Also, my bus pass is very expensive unless I can get the student discount added back on.

As for when I move out, I don't think my mom will be stuck as she will most likely move in with her partner (who not to mention has a very high salary)

I feel like I'm not allowed to say no to my boss, my mom also gets mad at me for not taking any extra hours because "we need the money" which leaves me with less time to focus on my studies.

This is difficult

Loanranger

Mica, I have two OU degrees both studied for while working full time. The OU is designed for people who work full time and study part time. You need to increase your hours of work or get another part time job or just get a full time job so that you can pay your way in the world.

Your bills of 200 pounds a month sound excessive to me but that is your business, what is not right is that you do not pay your way with your mother while prioritising your own bills.

Mica98

My plan is to transfer to a brick uni next year. When I get my student loan, I aim to save most of it as I will be attending the uni in my city, meaning I'll not need student accommodation. Also, thanks for the useful suggestions

Mica98

I'm doing two modules (full time study) so that I can get into a brick university by next year. It also doesn't help that I work evenings so I can't attend any tutorials.

gettingtheresometime

Mica98 wrote: »

My plan is to transfer to a brick uni next year. When I get my student loan, I aim to save most of it as I will be attending the uni in my city, meaning I'll not need student accommodation. Also, thanks for the useful suggestions

But where will you live?


Where ever you live will have costs, whether you pay rent to a landlord or board to your mum.


Have you thought about looking for alternative p/t work that means you work in the days and so can study/attend tutorials in the evenings

Mojisola

Mica98 wrote: »

Hi, so I am currently working part time and studying with the OU. I earn £700 a month and my mom takes £250 in board (reduced from £350), on top of that I have over £200 of my own bills to pay. I'm a bit annoyed as she has started asking me to pay bills out of my own money, is that not what board is for? I'd like to add that as I'm studying with the OU, I'm not entitled to a Student loan, so I don't have any extra money.

Mica98 wrote: »

I've tried to talk but it always ends up being an argument so I feel stuck tbh

Would your Mum sit down with you and fill in a spreadsheet of all the bills - you could use the idea of seeing if you can get better deals for the utilities and insurance?

Try to approach it rationally and objectively rather than resisting paying more - when you see the full extent of the bills, you'll be able to see if you're paying your fair share.

Mica98

Yes I understand that but my point is *at the moment* I'm not earning much, but when I'm in a better financial situation, it will be less of a burden & I'm currently looking for a new job (my boss also keeps threatening to sack me for petty reasons, I'm not even insured to work there)

dreaming

Okay Mica98. Reading your further posts (and between the lines a bit) I am guessing you are quite young and possibly a bit isolated, so I think there is more at play here than just finances. It seems you feel the burden of pleasing everyone (your mum, your boss) but you really do have to learn to stand up for yourself. I know from experience that it is difficult to break some deep-rooted family dynamics but it can be done. Some doctors' surgeries have counselling help available, or there are things on-line that can help. The main thing to take on board is that you are not responsible for other people's reactions. If your mum gets upset with you for not taking on more work then let her be upset. Similarly with your boss - although of course you run the risk of losing the job I guess. The longer you give in to other people's demands the longer the situation will continue. You don't have to be nasty about it. If your mum starts shouting about working more just keep calm and say "Sorry mum. I need to study right now" and go to your room. If she follows you just keep repeating the same thing.

It makes me wonder if you would be better off in a house share with people you are not emotionally attached to - although that is a whole different scenario where you still have to learn coping strategies. Best of luck.