Is my mom charging too much?

dreaming

Mica98 wrote: »

As I said in my post, by then, I will have graduated and have a full time job. Since I only have time to work part time, it seems like too much money at the moment.

Mica98 wrote: »

I've been looking for one bedroom flats in my area but the only thing I can seem to find are house/flatshares as there are not many one bedroom properties

Mica98 wrote: »

I'm studying environmental science, I called the uni but they said the only funding I can get is funding to cover the cost of the modules which goes straight from SFE to the uni.

I studied for (and passed:) a degree with the OU whilst I was working full time and in my late 40s/early 50s. My youngest moved out in the middle of her nursing degree into a shared house and worked part-time to fund it. Regarding the funding - would that not free up some cash for you (i.e. you would not be paying the course fees)?

Obviously I don't know your full circumstances so to compare is not necessarily helpful. I just offer the above to show that there are ways round most difficulties.
You say you have tried to talk to your mum but it ends up in arguments. Have you tried writing her a letter? This can take some of the emotion out of it. Or is there another family member who could talk to her on your behalf? Just make sure you are not being too accusatory or demanding. If not, and you are adamant you can't move out, then I'm afraid you are going to just have put up with things. It may be hard at the moment but it won't last forever.

Mica98

We both do equal cooking, cleaning and washing the clothes (wash all of the clothes together rather than just my own to save money) I asked if she could just put a couple of bills in my name but she said she'd rather have the cash, I feel stuck

Mica98

I'm not sure what you mean in the first paragraph but the only funding I get (which goes straight to the uni, not to my bank) is to cover the cost of the modules. When people are at brick universities, they get their student loan which goes to their bank account, I'm not entitled to that unfortunately. We have a very small family so I have nobody to speak to her on my behalf, you're right, I'll have to try and manage it for now

bigisi

She's taking the pee out of you but unless you're willing to put your foot down or move out and go elsewhere it sounds like you'll have to put up with it.

Gavin83

What area of the country are you in?

So just to clarify, what is she actually asking you to contribute in total each month? Ignore your own bills, what are you actually paying to your mum?

Mica98

I'm paying £250 but she's looking to increase it back to £350, idk if there's anything I can do here

Mica98

I forgot to answer your first question, I live in the Black Country

Mica98

I'm looking for somewhere to live but I feel like because of where I live, there aren't many One bedroom properties

Malthusian

Mica98 wrote: »

I've been looking for one bedroom flats in my area but the only thing I can seem to find are house/flatshares as there are not many one bedroom properties

And? You're in a houseshare right now, so what's the problem?

If you can't talk to your mum about money then your relationship with your current housemate isn't great, so there is little reason to rule out a house/flatshare on the basis you might not like your new one.

I'm assuming you're not renting a separate one-bedroom flat from your mum, in which case you almost certainly have a fabulous deal unless it's a really really cheap area.

dreaming

The other side of this problem is to look at your mum's circumstances. Does she work/claim benefits etc? You did say that she was putting the extra into her savings as "she doesn't have any", and you class your own savings as part of your "bills". Maybe she is looking ahead to when you do move out and she is worried about how she will cope. I know it is difficult as you obviously care about her but you do need to have an honest discussion about things - even if it does end up in an argument. At the very least I would ask to see the bills. You could always try saying you don't have the means to top up the electric if you feel she is overusing it, or agree to buy your own food (and cook it).
You are also paying off the Dyson you bought for her. Whilst I always encourage people to have some savings if possible, maybe it would be better to pay off the Dyson with some savings and thus free up some everyday money (or start saving again) and make sure you don't take on a big purchase like this again.
I also saw that you say you feel your boss is taking advantage of you living next door. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and say no if he is asking you to work extra. Actually it sounds like a similar scenario to that with your mum. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself even if it does run the risk of upsetting others.
I hope you find a way to resolve this.