Daily Chat Thread Sunday 25th November

tigtag02

keren29 wrote: »

I'm having a big guilt trip today and I'm not sure what I've done this morning is right or wrong.

I got a text just before 7 this morning. I was half awake and OH was already up so it wasn't as if we were woken. The text was from my ex. We split over 4 years ago but are now 'friends' and have shared responsibility for our lovely dog. Anyway (just wanted to explain the situation), he sent a text saying he needed help and might have to go to Accident and Emergency.

I told OH and he said - 'he isn't your responsibility, text him back.' I said that I realised that but what if it was something really bad. He shrugged and said 'well, I guess..........text him back and ask him what is wrong'. I must have looked a bit lost, (I wasn't sure what to do) so he said 'Well, I suppose you can't leave him there' and so I said I would go and see what the problem was. My ex lives less than half a mile away and the hospital is less than a mile from there.

I went and he had tripped as he got up and was in horrendous pain. Managed to get him in the car and off to A+E. He's broken his foot and knackered all the ligaments in his ankle. He's now back home with tablets. He was very apologetic and said he really appreciated what I'd done.

Anyway, I feel really guilty about what I've done. I didn't say anything like 'I have to go' or anything like that - but it was the same 'feeling' as if a friend had sent me the text - more concern really - he must have felt desparate to take the decision to text me at that time of the morning.

Was I wrong to do what I did? should I have just sent him a text saying I couldn't help? I know it might seem weird that I would want to help someone I split with all that time ago but we are friends now. My OH has never come out of a relationship like that and ended up friends with any of his ex's and he didn't seem best pleased. I sent him a text when I got back, but no reply.

Keren ~ do I hav permission to slap you about the head with a wet trout? In fact, sod the permission, I'm doing it!!!

You are a kind and caring person, you would have done this for ANYONE that needing your help, who cares that he once had the status as your OH. I would be more worried if you had said *fend for yourself, its nothing to do with me*.

Take that guilt and chuck it out the window doll, coz you did everything right.

Sermon over
tigtag
xxx

tigtag02

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

No I think you did the right thing ..............

Yesterday I did something similar - well not to do with an ex but it really annoyed my sister ........

I spoke to my sister and she said she had seen an ambulance drive accross the green towards my friends house (her partner works Saturdays) and she has 2 children - one aged 2 who my son plays with a lot and an 10 week old baby - my sister said 'did she live in the third house along' and I said no the second house - she then said but she has long blonde hair though I said yes - she said it was definately her as she was running towards the ambulance - I was like oh my god - my sister then said 'your not going to call her are you - it will make me look nosy' - so I said 'no it won't - I'm her friend' anyway my sister forbid me to call her - but I wouldn't do that anyway as she was probably at the hospital so I sent her a text around 5pm yesterday afternoon asking if everything was ok - if she needs me to do anything etc to let her know and I sent the family my love ............. I then drove past around 7pm - no cars or lights on and then about 8.30 I called my sister and said - did she see who was taken in the ambulance etc etc etc and my sister said I don't understand the reason for your call - I've told you all I know and that an ambulance went to the house and your friend ran to meet it and she then said you haven't called her have you I said no - I texted and with that she hung up .............. I still haven't heard from my friend and am extremely worried - I can deal with my sisters wrath but am worried about what may have happened and all I can do is pray for her 2 children - I was awake from about 2am - 5am thinking about it.

So Keren29 in answer to your question - you sometimes just do what you think is right at the time - you helped out a friend in need and I well ignored my sister to send a text of concern

Oh My Gosh DB ~ I am with you in praying that everything is ok. FWIW I would totally have ignored my sister too

Have you tried to call your friend today?

Dumb_Blonde_3

Hi guys - my friend just called it was her little baby - I spoke to her on Friday and she said her little girl had a really bad cold (the 2 year old) and she was hoping her son - the 10 week old baby wouldn't get it - well it seems that yesterday he started really screaming and crying (not like him) and then he sort of struggled for breath and his eyes rolled and he went limb - they dialled 999 and the ambulance arrived - she said it seemed to take ages and thank god oh thank god her partner was home that day as its his birthday today so he took the weekend off work - anyway the baby had a load of mucas in his throat that he couldn't clear as he was sooo young and at that age they don't know how to - the 999 guys managed to help him and they were at the hospital for a while and as they were about to be discharged he did the gasping for breath/limp thing again ............ my friend who in her life has been through a lot said she has never felt as sick about anything in her life - anyway he's home now and me and my friend are going to do a first aid course - I did one about a year ago but its one of those things that I think everyone needs to know basic CPR - my friend said she didn't know this or her partner and I said its different for babies as you cover both their mouth and nose and us 2 fingers and she said she didn't know this - so I said lets both do a course together - so tomorrow thats what I am going to research - its been a pretty frightening time - I burst into tears about 4 times on the phone to her - the thing is the baby is not really out of the woods yet as he still has a cold but the hospital said he could pick up more while in there ..... I am going to town in a little while and get her a Sudafed plug in.

Mupeteer

I really hope he's going to be ok. Let us know how he's doing.

Burlesque_Babe

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

so I said lets both do a course together - so tomorrow thats what I am going to research - its been a pretty frightening time - I burst into tears about 4 times on the phone to her - the thing is the baby is not really out of the woods yet as he still has a cold but the hospital said he could pick up more while in there ..... I am going to town in a little while and get her a Sudafed plug in.

Very scary situation. You are a good friend to support her on the course and also to get one of the plug ins.

I think your call would have been very much appreciated.

Mupeteer

Well here goes - off to deal with my sister-in-sin. Wish me luck.

Apologies in advance as I'm likely to come back ranting about her later on.

Slayerx

Mupeteer wrote: »

Well here goes - off to deal with my sister-in-sin. Wish me luck.

Apologies in advance as I'm likely to come back ranting about her later on.

Best of luck with that and feel free to drop me a pm with a rant if you want

Mupeteer

I survived! :j

She wasn't too bad today but I'm afraid I stayed as long as I had to then made my lame excuses and ran.:D Oh well.

CRANKY40

Mupeteer wrote: »

I survived! :j

She wasn't too bad today but I'm afraid I stayed as long as I had to then made my lame excuses and ran.:D Oh well.

You did well to go at all. Well done!

ZTD

keren29 wrote: »

I'm having a big guilt trip today and I'm not sure what I've done this morning is right or wrong.

I got a text just before 7 this morning. I was half awake and OH was already up so it wasn't as if we were woken. The text was from my ex. We split over 4 years ago but are now 'friends' and have shared responsibility for our lovely dog. Anyway (just wanted to explain the situation), he sent a text saying he needed help and might have to go to Accident and Emergency.

I told OH and he said - 'he isn't your responsibility, text him back.' I said that I realised that but what if it was something really bad. He shrugged and said 'well, I guess..........text him back and ask him what is wrong'. I must have looked a bit lost, (I wasn't sure what to do) so he said 'Well, I suppose you can't leave him there' and so I said I would go and see what the problem was. My ex lives less than half a mile away and the hospital is less than a mile from there.

I went and he had tripped as he got up and was in horrendous pain. Managed to get him in the car and off to A+E. He's broken his foot and knackered all the ligaments in his ankle. He's now back home with tablets. He was very apologetic and said he really appreciated what I'd done.

Anyway, I feel really guilty about what I've done. I didn't say anything like 'I have to go' or anything like that - but it was the same 'feeling' as if a friend had sent me the text - more concern really - he must have felt desparate to take the decision to text me at that time of the morning.

Was I wrong to do what I did? should I have just sent him a text saying I couldn't help? I know it might seem weird that I would want to help someone I split with all that time ago but we are friends now. My OH has never come out of a relationship like that and ended up friends with any of his ex's and he didn't seem best pleased. I sent him a text when I got back, but no reply.

If he'd been some stranger lying in the street, would you have given him the finger and told him "You're not my problem!" ? No - I don't think so. Of course you did the right thing, you know you did, everyone else knows you did, and even your OH knows you did.

I'm sure even Toto would have done something similar if it had been one of her ex's. Though does tying him to the back of the car by his ankle and driving off, still count as "driving him to casualty"? :think:

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

its been a pretty frightening time - I burst into tears about 4 times on the phone to her - the thing is the baby is not really out of the woods yet as he still has a cold but the hospital said he could pick up more while in there ..... I am going to town in a little while and get her a Sudafed plug in.

:grouphug:

Looks a crap time for a few people.