Son is using my Details to obtain Credit

bathgatebuyer

I sincerely hope your son is stewing with worry over what you're going to do next. As others have said, he's been so contemptuous towards you in doing this, I'm totally astonished that anyone would do this to their parent.

He's done the damage, so he has to start putting it right. The onus is on him now - maybe you should tell him to hand himself into the Police and start acting like the 24 yr adult he is. Harsh, but true. He caused these problems and either he can solve them or you can through the Police. It would be easier for him though if he went to them rather than you having to report it.

Dealmad

Sit down and have a serious talk with your son , find out why he did it and tell him what trouble he has got you in .....see what your son says?

I know he did wrong but to shop your own kid to the Police to me i find quite shocking ....yes he needs help but everyone deserves a second chance & i dont think sending your Son to Prison is the answer.

Yes he is wrong and totally out of order & even though i wouldnt ever think about doing this to anyone there must be a reason he felt the need to do it?

Would your Son ever forgive you for telling the Police on him or does this not matter as long as you are debt free?

Yes your Son needs your forgiveness and time is a great healer and its only upto you to know whats best , nobody can really give you advice on matters like this.

Dealmad

bude100 wrote: »

Hi All thanks for the help and support (appreciated) - my son moved out about 12 months ago to live with his partner and thay have recently had a little girl, so further complications (nothing is easy!!) - I talked to my son he said he was desperate, he had amassed aroud 5K debt on CCs in his own name (again the "victim" of CC companies giving CCs away willy nilly) so took out a CC in my name to TXF to a lower rate! I've opened a credit file alert account with equifax and taken out a CIFAS order which will stop him using my details in future. Still deciding whether to approach the police????

Your son admits he was desprate & you still want to think about going to the Police :eek:

Is he Sorry , is he going to Pay it back or even try? if yes then what more do you want?

Like i said before he did wrong but people make mistakes and he is family.

I was offered a credit card just for being a student , they don't care and they even put your limit up after a short period , I'm not giving him an excuse but trying to see both sides.

Yes he shouldn't of done it and seeked debt help or talked to his credit card company but he didn't , he made a stupid mistake and probably one he regrets deeply

Im close to my family and if i did something like this which i would never , my parents would be very angry but they would never think about taking me to the Police & we would try and sort the mess out together....yes if it was for my own good then maybe they would , but is it really for his own good , does he go round commiting crime?

Say he gets 5 years for fraud , are you happy with this , seeing as the affect of prison will effect him for life?

Thats if he can last 5 years

P.S Sorry for spelling mistakes , im tired

seven-day-weekend

If your son is sorry, has learned his lesson and is going to pay it back to you, and he has never done anything like this before, I would give him a second chance and sort it out together.

All these people saying they would put their children in prison I think are being totally unrealistic.

Of course, if he has not learned his lesson then that is a different matter. and you may have to 'shop' him.

One thing is clear though if he is that desperate that he was driven to do this then he needs a debt counsellor. Contact one of the free ones.

Hope it works out for you and your son.

In_Search_Of_Me

As always great to see lots of differing opinion on here! It would be interesting to know how your son feels about this just out of curiosity and what he is doing to pay the debt back...I know if I'd ever done something like that (not that I ever would I hasten to add) I'd have had to have fessed up plus would just feel SO, SO guilty...Does he understand for instance the ramifications for you in this? NO only with the dilemma of what to do but in terms of your credit score etc? It really is a tricky one this!

poppy10_2

Deffo report to the police right now - otherwise you will be liable and will have to pay back the £15,000 yourself, as you will be seen as having colluded with him.

davetrousers

Ouc, what has he spent the money on? Those new shoes, you would have 'paid' for new games console you've paid for that. Nights out with the lads, you've paid for him p1ssing up the wall. What else has he been spending it on powdering his nose perhaps?

The boy has done wrong, but does he care? How is he generally? Does he mope around saying that things aren't fair?

Difficult path ahead but if he doesn't learn now when will he?

Dumb_Blonde_3

Yes - what did he spend the money on? he says he was desperate - its a shame he couldn't share his desperation with anyone BEFORE going down this awful path. If he feels remorse as I'm sure he would then I would speak to him about repying the credit cards.

I personally would not be able to go to the police if it were my son - I think we decided to bring them into the world therefore we are responsible and should help them the best we can - the thing that would hurt me most is the fact that my son had not turned around and said to me 'mum I'm in financial trouble - any idea's how I can get around this?' - he must have known that sooner or later you would have found out and that this was his 'cry for help' - I'd be very wary of shopping him to the police - who knows his real state of mind - you don't want to lose your son over money - theres always an answer and somehow he/his girlfriend etc can pay it off over time.

Just my personal opinion.

consultant31

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

All these people saying they would put their children in prison I think are being totally unrealistic.

Of course, if he has not learned his lesson then that is a different matter. and you may have to 'shop' him.

If the Ops son had done this to someone else, using a fraudulently obtained credit card, and the OP found out, would he/she keep quiet or would she go to the police?

How will the OP know if her son has learned his lesson?

He will surely be grovelling right now apologising and promising faithfully, he won't do it again. But if he does get away with it, he could very easily do it again when he gets 'desperate' enough!

I was one of the ones who said, though I love my son very much, I would shop him and I would.

At 24 years of age, he knows exactly what he's done - it's not as though it could have been done on the spur of the moment, he must have planned it!

I feel dreadfully sorry for you OP, it's the worst 'stab in the back' possible grom someone you thought you could trust above all others.

Andy_Edinburgh

Are there any precedents to this event? Are there any other times he's done stupid, selfish, irresponsible things? If there have been, how did you respond? Were you firm but constructive, or did you basically say "There, there"?

This is an extremely serious matter and you must involve the police. I know a criminal conviction could seriously affect his future but he's a grown man and he's got to face up to the consequences of his actions. If you say "There, there" you're just enabling his bad behaviour. He's taking his own mother for a mug, and by irresponsibly "borrowing" money in this way he's making a mug of all the DFWs who DO face up to their debt responsibilities.

Trying to be constructive, I'd say give him two options:
1. You call the police NOW and wash your hands of him;
2. You sit down and work out with him a plan for him to repay the money, THEN you're going to call the police.

The latter at least shows the police and court a degree of awareness and maturity. Neither option is "soft" but the second one at least tries to right the wrong.