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  • ryanm8655
    ryanm8655 Posts: 1,152 Forumite
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    edited 23 June 2020 at 9:42AM
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    Thanks for the replies both.

    It does feel good, the last time the debt was at this level was way back in 2015, so naturally my mind has wondered back to those days. I remember telling my gf at the time and she was so angry that she didn’t speak to me for two weeks :lol: We didn’t live together and I entered the relationship with the debt mostly as a legacy of a past relationship but she wasn’t really the supportive type. When we were later talking about living together it was her reaction to that that actually made me think the relationship wasn’t right (among other things). I was very unhappy back then looking back and even though I broke up with her it did then lead to my debts spiralling. I had started to make a bit of a dent in them plus got a substantial payrise, which opened up the floodgates in terms of 0% offers. A good friend was also going through a break up and we ended up flatsharing and having an amazing but expensive couple of years that left us both in huge debt. Had we both not had big debt already the lifestyle would’ve been affordable but still wouldn’t have had any savings...

    Interesting to take a walk down memory lane. Remember thinking this level of debt was an insurmountable task and burying my head in the sand. “I’ll deal with it when I get a payrise” was always in the back of my mind but they’d come and my spending would increase further.

    Interestingly the debt hanging over me has been a big issue in relationships. I was fearful of getting to that point of the relationship where you have to tell them so would often break it off before then, picking faults that probably weren’t even there (though there was an element of enjoying the independence a single life brings). Will be so good to be able to date without that guilt!

    It’s also strange looking back. At 17 I had my own place (rented) and a nice car with zero debt. Had the same at uni. Only got into debt when I got my first grad job as they offered a 0% loan they took from you salary. Then I was in a relationship, had a nice rented flat and new car and a small ish interest free debt, though I saw it as free money, just like my student loan...so the mentality issues were there. Left that job and moved to London. We had a nice bungalow in Clapham with a garden and I had a nice car. About £8k of debt owed to my previous employer plus the debts I’d accrued for the deposit and fees etc. Then from there it went down hill :lol: Now I’m living in the playroom at my aunties house, have a 15 year old car and still have masses of debt. Objectively it sounds depressing, somehow I’ve regressed since my early 20s. But I’ve grown massively in terms of my mentality, in particular towards money. The past is in the past. In economics it’s a sunk cost. 

    I also think about why I was so bad with money. Growing up we didn’t have much. My mum was terrible with money and for much of her life didn’t even work and was neglectful in other ways too. I was the first in my family to go to uni and I’d always been somewhat driven by wanting a better life and making sure my kids weren’t embarrassed by the car I was picking them up from football in or embarassed having people over at the house as it was a wreck. At a young age I’d met that goal and had far more than I’d had growing up. I then felt a bit lost and sought happiness in material things and experiences. All the while getting further from my original goal...

    A bit of an intense and reflective post for a Tuesday :lol:

    It’s amazing how this journey has changed my mindset though.

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320

    <br>

  • IrishSean
    IrishSean Posts: 397 Forumite
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    So many of us in the same boat; 
    A) i said i'd pay my debts off when I got a big win. I did, paid debts but didn't close off cards when still gambling so debt rose again &
    B  ) most of spending was emotional spending; i'm with you, now my LBM has led to a mindset shift my likelihood of ramping up debt again is slim to none. 

    Emotional spending is so common it seems to outstrip those in debt due to situational crisis by a big margin; still you're prob like me and happier on this side of the fence (on pay down) than the other side (debt rising & feeling lousy about it) 
    Admin for Tilly Tidy to £1825 DFW challenge: 2021
    Rolling Total for 2021: £970
  • Naomim
    Naomim Posts: 3,117 Forumite
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    Sometimes I think it does us good to reflect on how far we've come. I don't mean how much debt we've paid but what brought us to the debt and that we are now in a position to recognise it and deal with it.   Most of mine came from keeping up with the Joneses.  We have a two kids and an affordable mortgage but when the kids came I wanted to only work part time, I wanted us to go abroad every year for a two week holiday.  My husband got made redundant, had a great redundancy package and thought he'd walk into another job but he didn't for another 9 months. So I stuck my head in the sand and ignored building debt.   

    I agree with IrishSean, now you're in a much better place and can recognise your triggers.
    Credit Cards NOV 2019 £33,220.42 Sept 2023 £19,951.00 Tilly Tidy 20223/COLOR] Sept £43.71 Here's my diary: A Ditherer's Diary Again
  • ryanm8655
    ryanm8655 Posts: 1,152 Forumite
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    edited 23 June 2020 at 9:36PM
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    Thanks for the replies.

    Agreed! Definitely good to reflect.

    Slightly worried about the implications of the pubs opening :lol:

    More grocery shopping today, £23 spent on a few bits. 

    Got a busy few days ahead with work (tough to focus with the weather as it is though) and then visiting my uncle this weekend for a birthday celebration. After that I’ve got some time when I can list a few bits for sale. Thinking I’ll either clear it straight off of debt or put it into my LISA. With lockdown easing I’m wondering whether to just focus on clearing the debt and forget the LISA plans. Feel slightly uneasy about progress slowing once life eventually gets back to normal.

    A good motivator to keep things tight though...

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320


  • Sarahwithlove
    Sarahwithlove Posts: 2,158 Forumite
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    I would be tempted to just focus on the debt in all honesty especially when a LiSA has such high penalties if you ever needed to withdraw it in an emergency. Once the CC are paid off maybe get a basic emergency fund I.e if something went wrong with the car and then focus on your LISA. I believe with LiSA it's a yearly allowance so doesn't matter if you put it into the account in March next year as long as before April 
    *Dad loan - £5300 - £1700
    *Virgin Credit Card - £3552.50 - £0
    *Barclaycard - £0

    *Total debt - £1700*

    *Sinking Fund - £2000/£3000*
    *Emergency Fund -£50/£2000

    *Debt Repayments Pot - £0/0*

    New diary- https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6474943/the-three-cs-coffee-clothes-credit-cards/
  • ryanm8655
    ryanm8655 Posts: 1,152 Forumite
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    edited 25 June 2020 at 12:15AM
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    I would be tempted to just focus on the debt in all honesty especially when a LiSA has such high penalties if you ever needed to withdraw it in an emergency. Once the CC are paid off maybe get a basic emergency fund I.e if something went wrong with the car and then focus on your LISA. I believe with LiSA it's a yearly allowance so doesn't matter if you put it into the account in March next year as long as before April 
    Thanks for the reply - it's something I am contemplating. Financially it makes sense to save in the LISA as all of the debt is on 0% and I'm well ahead of the offers but at the same time psychologically it'd be nice to be free of debt. I'm reluctant to move back to London until it has gone as it'll be more like a fresh start then, will take it a month at a time.

    That's right re: LISA, you can pay the whole £4k in one month if you want to. So the target is to have £4k in there by end of March, one way or another. I currently pay in a token £5 a week.

    Usually I'd agree re: emergency fund but my disposable income is more than the value of my car at the moment. As soon as I move out of home I'll be setting up an emergency fund for sure. At the moment though, I can just clear less debt in a month where I need to make an emergency repair to the car. It does need some non-urgent suspension work but it should still pass the MOT when due. I'll budget for those repairs (and more) just in case. I got the cambelt and waterpump done when I bought it, which is the biggest worry and it had a full service a couple of months ago. In all likelihood I'll get rid of the car once I am back in London, so will look to avoid anything that isn't essential maintenance in the meantime. Inadvertently I have an emergency fund of about £400, without making a conscious effort to build one. I'll need to save a months rent and deposit when I do eventually move but I'll plan for that once I know what's happening with work. It's likely going to be 6 months before I am back in the office again.

    Today was a non-spend day and I also got some free mini cheddars when giving blood, so that's a win :lol:

    Not yet heard back re: job interview but did hear through the grapevine that I have passed but there still could be candidates that scored more highly than me. At the least though, I should be on a reserve list in case any others come up. It's also a bit of a confidence boost in terms of knowing I am good enough for the promotion.

    Thanks,
    Ryan

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320


  • ryanm8655
    ryanm8655 Posts: 1,152 Forumite
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    Another £30 DD out today and another £100 tomorrow on MBNA.

    It’s pay day tomorrow and the first time my pay hasn’t been messed up since I got a slight payrise in April. New take home is £2991.48, just over £60 more a month. Not much but every little helps...

    Fingers crossed for some job news today or tomorrow. The extra £6/700 a month (after tax etc.) would be amazing.

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320


  • Sarahwithlove
    Sarahwithlove Posts: 2,158 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
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    ryanm8655 said:
    I would be tempted to just focus on the debt in all honesty especially when a LiSA has such high penalties if you ever needed to withdraw it in an emergency. Once the CC are paid off maybe get a basic emergency fund I.e if something went wrong with the car and then focus on your LISA. I believe with LiSA it's a yearly allowance so doesn't matter if you put it into the account in March next year as long as before April 
    Thanks for the reply - it's something I am contemplating. Financially it makes sense to save in the LISA as all of the debt is on 0% and I'm well ahead of the offers but at the same time psychologically it'd be nice to be free of debt. I'm reluctant to move back to London until it has gone as it'll be more like a fresh start then, will take it a month at a time.

    That's right re: LISA, you can pay the whole £4k in one month if you want to. So the target is to have £4k in there by end of March, one way or another. I currently pay in a token £5 a week.

    Usually I'd agree re: emergency fund but my disposable income is more than the value of my car at the moment. As soon as I move out of home I'll be setting up an emergency fund for sure. At the moment though, I can just clear less debt in a month where I need to make an emergency repair to the car. It does need some non-urgent suspension work but it should still pass the MOT when due. I'll budget for those repairs (and more) just in case. I got the cambelt and waterpump done when I bought it, which is the biggest worry and it had a full service a couple of months ago. In all likelihood I'll get rid of the car once I am back in London, so will look to avoid anything that isn't essential maintenance in the meantime. Inadvertently I have an emergency fund of about £400, without making a conscious effort to build one. I'll need to save a months rent and deposit when I do eventually move but I'll plan for that once I know what's happening with work. It's likely going to be 6 months before I am back in the office again.

    Today was a non-spend day and I also got some free mini cheddars when giving blood, so that's a win :lol:

    Not yet heard back re: job interview but did hear through the grapevine that I have passed but there still could be candidates that scored more highly than me. At the least though, I should be on a reserve list in case any others come up. It's also a bit of a confidence boost in terms of knowing I am good enough for the promotion.

    Thanks,
    Ryan
    For me I have found the psychology of focusing on my CC and seeing the debt going down and being able to clear a debt has been great.

    Sounds like you have a plan 
    *Dad loan - £5300 - £1700
    *Virgin Credit Card - £3552.50 - £0
    *Barclaycard - £0

    *Total debt - £1700*

    *Sinking Fund - £2000/£3000*
    *Emergency Fund -£50/£2000

    *Debt Repayments Pot - £0/0*

    New diary- https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6474943/the-three-cs-coffee-clothes-credit-cards/
  • ryanm8655
    ryanm8655 Posts: 1,152 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 25 June 2020 at 9:26AM
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    ryanm8655 said:
    I would be tempted to just focus on the debt in all honesty especially when a LiSA has such high penalties if you ever needed to withdraw it in an emergency. Once the CC are paid off maybe get a basic emergency fund I.e if something went wrong with the car and then focus on your LISA. I believe with LiSA it's a yearly allowance so doesn't matter if you put it into the account in March next year as long as before April 
    Thanks for the reply - it's something I am contemplating. Financially it makes sense to save in the LISA as all of the debt is on 0% and I'm well ahead of the offers but at the same time psychologically it'd be nice to be free of debt. I'm reluctant to move back to London until it has gone as it'll be more like a fresh start then, will take it a month at a time.

    That's right re: LISA, you can pay the whole £4k in one month if you want to. So the target is to have £4k in there by end of March, one way or another. I currently pay in a token £5 a week.

    Usually I'd agree re: emergency fund but my disposable income is more than the value of my car at the moment. As soon as I move out of home I'll be setting up an emergency fund for sure. At the moment though, I can just clear less debt in a month where I need to make an emergency repair to the car. It does need some non-urgent suspension work but it should still pass the MOT when due. I'll budget for those repairs (and more) just in case. I got the cambelt and waterpump done when I bought it, which is the biggest worry and it had a full service a couple of months ago. In all likelihood I'll get rid of the car once I am back in London, so will look to avoid anything that isn't essential maintenance in the meantime. Inadvertently I have an emergency fund of about £400, without making a conscious effort to build one. I'll need to save a months rent and deposit when I do eventually move but I'll plan for that once I know what's happening with work. It's likely going to be 6 months before I am back in the office again.

    Today was a non-spend day and I also got some free mini cheddars when giving blood, so that's a win :lol:

    Not yet heard back re: job interview but did hear through the grapevine that I have passed but there still could be candidates that scored more highly than me. At the least though, I should be on a reserve list in case any others come up. It's also a bit of a confidence boost in terms of knowing I am good enough for the promotion.

    Thanks,
    Ryan
    For me I have found the psychology of focusing on my CC and seeing the debt going down and being able to clear a debt has been great.

    Sounds like you have a plan 

    Yeah, I’m finding the same. I sort of think aloud in here and plan ahead to keep me focussed but think I’ll likely just focus on the debt. About £8k is on 0% until September/November next year, so when that is all that is left I think it will make more sense to stick money in the LISA to hit the £4K.

    I think I will start putting away £100/month into my nationwide again, on reflection. Start building a move to London/emergency fund. It’s a healthier and more sensible approach as I can see myself getting down if one month the Debt figure doesn’t fall substantially because I’ve had to fork out £2k to move. The debt figure has become a bit of an obsession and it’d be good to get into some good habits for debt free me, you’re right.

    I am planning to clear the M&S and MBNA in full tomorrow. Is there any merit in keeping them open? I don’t need the credit but keeping them open would bring my credit utilisation down. Also thinking about reducing my overdraft down to £500. It’s currently £2250 but I don’t need it.

    Thanks!

    August 2019: £28.8k

    November 2020: £0 (0% interest)

    My debt free diary: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77330320#Comment_77330320


  • Sarahwithlove
    Sarahwithlove Posts: 2,158 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
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    ryanm8655 said:
    ryanm8655 said:
    I would be tempted to just focus on the debt in all honesty especially when a LiSA has such high penalties if you ever needed to withdraw it in an emergency. Once the CC are paid off maybe get a basic emergency fund I.e if something went wrong with the car and then focus on your LISA. I believe with LiSA it's a yearly allowance so doesn't matter if you put it into the account in March next year as long as before April 
    Thanks for the reply - it's something I am contemplating. Financially it makes sense to save in the LISA as all of the debt is on 0% and I'm well ahead of the offers but at the same time psychologically it'd be nice to be free of debt. I'm reluctant to move back to London until it has gone as it'll be more like a fresh start then, will take it a month at a time.

    That's right re: LISA, you can pay the whole £4k in one month if you want to. So the target is to have £4k in there by end of March, one way or another. I currently pay in a token £5 a week.

    Usually I'd agree re: emergency fund but my disposable income is more than the value of my car at the moment. As soon as I move out of home I'll be setting up an emergency fund for sure. At the moment though, I can just clear less debt in a month where I need to make an emergency repair to the car. It does need some non-urgent suspension work but it should still pass the MOT when due. I'll budget for those repairs (and more) just in case. I got the cambelt and waterpump done when I bought it, which is the biggest worry and it had a full service a couple of months ago. In all likelihood I'll get rid of the car once I am back in London, so will look to avoid anything that isn't essential maintenance in the meantime. Inadvertently I have an emergency fund of about £400, without making a conscious effort to build one. I'll need to save a months rent and deposit when I do eventually move but I'll plan for that once I know what's happening with work. It's likely going to be 6 months before I am back in the office again.

    Today was a non-spend day and I also got some free mini cheddars when giving blood, so that's a win :lol:

    Not yet heard back re: job interview but did hear through the grapevine that I have passed but there still could be candidates that scored more highly than me. At the least though, I should be on a reserve list in case any others come up. It's also a bit of a confidence boost in terms of knowing I am good enough for the promotion.

    Thanks,
    Ryan
    For me I have found the psychology of focusing on my CC and seeing the debt going down and being able to clear a debt has been great.

    Sounds like you have a plan 

    Yeah, I’m finding the same. I sort of think aloud in here and plan ahead to keep me focussed but think I’ll likely just focus on the debt. About £8k is on 0% until September/November next year, so when that is all that is left I think it will make more sense to stick money in the LISA.
    I think if you have job security in this current climate then it's worth doing it that way. Or splitting it 50-50 is an option. Maybe work out how much you need to put in the Lisa each month to get your full allowance before April and pay that each month and then the rest go on CC that way you get the best of both worlds 
    *Dad loan - £5300 - £1700
    *Virgin Credit Card - £3552.50 - £0
    *Barclaycard - £0

    *Total debt - £1700*

    *Sinking Fund - £2000/£3000*
    *Emergency Fund -£50/£2000

    *Debt Repayments Pot - £0/0*

    New diary- https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6474943/the-three-cs-coffee-clothes-credit-cards/
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