Whats fair?/ splitting finances

Primrose

A very sensible decision. Your current assets have been hard come by and its a foolish person who doesn't learn from earlier misfortunes or mistakes. your girlfriend really had everything to gain while your own children would have been the losers.

Everything comes at a price and i think your girlfriend really wanted to have her cake and eat it, keeping the same lifestyle without any extra financial contribution. If your relationship doesn't survive long term as a result of your decision you will know that perhaps she did value you more for what you could could provide financially rather than for who you are. That won,t necessarily boost your morale but will hopefully ensure your financial situation remains intact.

Markneath

justme111 wrote: »

What does your gf mean by 50/50? you both putting your income into the pot and taking 50% out of it for your expenses which are not shared? Or what?
I believe people have to be ready to be worse off for the sake of relationship but it should be either equal or proportional, ie not her in the same position and you worse off. So in itself not wanting your children to go without treats is not a good reason to forgo moving together. How much worse off would she be if she moved together with you due to benefits cut? Besides your child support may be recalculated as a result of you living with other children. It is complicated with benefits and children and child support I am afraid. Can you go through numbers in detail with your gf.

What I pay my ex isn't a cms figure its a figure we agreed between ourselves, she cuts me some slack because I often have the kids extra.
There wouldn’t be no reduction in what I pay my ex if I moved in with my girlfriend basically and I wouldn’t reduce it anyway.

My gripe was generally that I earn more than my girlfriend so was prepared to pay extra towards the house bills but I also work a lot more hours so had no intention of splitting our spare money 50/50 as well, if she wants more money she can go out and earn it.

AngelOfTheNorthWest

That sounds like a good decision OP. I think the fact that you disagree is more significant than which one of you is objectively more correct, if that makes sense. In her shoes I wouldn't move in with you and in your shoes I wouldn't move in with her.

sevenhills

Markneath wrote: »

My gripe was generally that I earn more than my girlfriend so was prepared to pay extra towards the house bills but I also work a lot more hours so had no intention of splitting our spare money 50/50 as well, if she wants more money she can go out and earn it.

I work double what my GF works and own my own house, compared to my GF who rents from the council.
If we did ever join to live in one house, she would make a large gain financially. There would be lots to agree on, she could then buy her council house with a large discount. The 'spare' money would be a minor issue.
I could just keep more income and pay for holidays, shows, meals ect. I guess only you would know if that was going to be amicable.