Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stay with my friend for free (and risk intruding)?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My friend, who lives abroad, has invited me to stay with her while I'm on holiday. While it would save me a lot of money on my holiday, she doesn't live alone - in fact, she lives with her parents and I'm worried I'll intrude. Should I accept her offer, or find somewhere else to stay?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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bradders1983

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Voyager2002

Assuming this is serious...

Look at places to stay that are near to where you want to be. That way, if you visit and then feel out of place, you can move on after a couple of days to your own space.

Pollycat

Does she have her parents' approval to invite you?

Don't worry - I know this is a MMD and no answers will be forthcoming. :cool:

Just curious why MSE decide to chop these things down to the bare bones instead of simply posting the whole question.

Middlestitch

She invited you. Why make such a big deal of simply accepting an invitation?

richardw

You never make holiday decisions with a chance of worry, that’s not what holidays are about. So don’t accept, just stay somewhere with no worries and have a worry free holiday.

REJP

Presumably she has had the decency, courtesy and common sense to ask her parents if you can visit?

I am one of the people who wonders if these dilemmas are real, by the way. You decide if this is real or not........

tboo

If you rock up and her parents have no idea about it then yes it is intruding


Hopefully she has informed them about the invitation

sazaccount

Really MSE? Why is this a dilemma if your friend has offered, they won't think your intruding, organise some activities together, take your friend and family out for dinner to say thank you and bring a small gift from your home country eg shortbread biscuits in a tin.

However as i type this I'm having the feeling this has been asked a while ago.

Edit: I've stayed with many friends around the world and found if they have older parents spending some time to chat/communicate goes a really long way showing photos of home your family siblings etc. I have a Japanese friend who I stayed with in April with her parents and even though her mum spoke very little english and me no Japanese she was very happy to see photos of my family, home and on my travels before arriving at their home.

gordon74

If you're a bloke forget it.... if you're a woman forget it.... find your own spot and meet up with her... if she's that insecure she needs friends from home when on holiday she shouldn't have left home...!!!!!! she's with her parents.. what sort of independent apron string cutting exercise is that lol

Pollycat

gordon74 wrote: »

If you're a bloke forget it.... if you're a woman forget it.... find your own spot and meet up with her... if she's that insecure she needs friends from home when on holiday she shouldn't have left home...!!!!!! she's with her parents.. what sort of independent apron string cutting exercise is that lol

Maybe she didn't leave home.
Maybe she's always lived in the same place, so home isn't where you have assumed it is i.e. the same place the originator of this MMD lives.
That would explain why the friend lives with her parents.
So maybe not so 'apron string cutting exercise' you think...