Aspergers/ASD support thread

Snaggles

We didn't realise Ryan was different until he went to nursery really, although looking back, the signs were there, we just missed them (the lack of eye contact, the lining up of toys, being funny about food). It wasn't until he started talking in sentences that we realised he somehow sounded different to his classmates. And the behavioural problems have just gradually increased as time has gone on.

I'm not sure what I think about the connection between complicated births and autism. Sometimes I think there MUST be a connection, but sometimes I think there must be some other explanation. Maybe we will never know, although I do hope someone finds some answers one day.

You had a nice short labour! I had one of those with Natasha.....great aren't they!

smeef

It's definitely an interesting idea that birth trauma may be linked to autistic spectrum disorders. It's probably as likely that the difficult birth is caused by whatever causes autism/Asperger's, as it is that difficult births somehow contribute to the development of ASD.

I work in child psychology and always ask about the birth, but that is more to do with the impact a difficult birth can have on the mother as much as the child.

Snaggles

Oh yes, that's an interesting point too. I hadn't thought of it like that. Do you work with many children on the autism spectrum in your job? I imagine it must be very rewarding when you deal with families who are struggling to cope, and you manage to give them the support they need to make a real improvement to their child's life.

sassi

Snaggles wrote: »

Hello!

Not sure if this is the right place for this really, but here goes....

I have a 7 year old son who has suspected Aspergers Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder. We are in the process of having the assessments/observations at the moment, and one question that keeps cropping up is 'did you have a normal delivery?'.

Well, it seemed fairly normal - I don't remember much about it at all, but I think he was (possibly too much information, sorry...) stuck in the birth canal for an awfully long time, and I nearly had to have a forceps delivery. And I also remember hearing words like tachicardic (sp?), bradicardic (definitely sp!), and the first Apgar score was a bit low for some reason but then the second was okay....but again I can't remember why.

I know I should have asked at the time, but to be honest, they never said any more about it, and I was just so glad I'd survived it all and was holding my little baby so I never thought about it again until now.

Anyway, rambling .......my question is - can I see his birth notes after all this time? And if so, who do I ask? His GP, the health visitor, the midwife, the hospital, the PCT?

I'm not trying to find out if they did anything wrong by the way, or thinking about suing them - just want to find out if there was anything unusual about his birth so I can answer the questions I'm being asked.

If anyone can point me in the right direction, I would be ever so grateful.

Love Snaggles xxx

hi
my daughter is autistic, and is 7 years old. my labour was 24 and half hours and i almost had a c section, as they said she wasn't getting enough oxygen, they prepped the theatre, but i pushed like mad and got her out.
i have no idea if this is why she is autistic though, and even looking at birth notes i doubt would tell me much.
She is great and as you can see from my sig i wouldn't take away her autism even if i could, shes the best.

good luck with the processes you are currently going through, i hope you and your son and family have lots of smiles in the future

Snaggles

Gosh, you sig is very like mine!! (Well, apart from all the wins! Well done! :T)

The overwhelming feeling I have got from this thread is that although life can be harder for/with an autistic child, we have so much love for them and wouldn't change them. I think it's a very very positive message that we are giving our children.

sassi

Snaggles wrote: »

Gosh, you sig is very like mine!! (Well, apart from all the wins! Well done! :T)

The overwhelming feeling I have got from this thread is that although life can be harder for/with an autistic child, we have so much love for them and wouldn't change them. I think it's a very very positive message that we are giving our children.

Wow, they are very similar aren't they

and the children in question are both 7 too.

As i said before, good luck, let us all know how you are getting on

quietheart

My little boy has been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome today - don't know what to think or where to start. didn't realise quite how much he was struggling at school. he's confused. so are we.....
How long ago did you all get the diagnosis? Did you tell people straight away? I immediately thought i don't want my MIL to know as she is the anti MMR brigade and will blame me for damaging her grandson.
Sorry to sound in such a muddle!

Savvy_Sue

rovers wrote: »

My little boy has been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome today - don't know what to think or where to start. didn't realise quite how much he was struggling at school. he's confused. so are we.....
How long ago did you all get the diagnosis? Did you tell people straight away? I immediately thought i don't want my MIL to know as she is the anti MMR brigade and will blame me for damaging her grandson.
Sorry to sound in such a muddle!

Have a hug Rovers! At least now you KNOW, and can get the help you and he need, and remember this, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! In fact, there's no FAULT about it: there's nothing WRONG with your son, he's just not like everyone else - and wouldn't life be boring if he was!

Well, DS1 was informally diagnosed by the school doctor, aged 12, and I immediately told some people, including one adult friend who said "What's that then?" and when I described it said "Oh, I'm one of those, always wondered what I was", and I thought "Yes, you are!"

I didn't tell DS1 the day I'd talked to the doctor, however, but waited until a letter came. I'd told the doctor we were moving shortly, so there was no time to go for 'formal' diagnosis before that, and she said she would write so that we could get things moving once we'd settled in. Her letter was brilliant!

I've sort of vaguely mentioned it to his grandparents, uncles and aunts. I'm not sure they believe there's much different about him (or at least, nothing that couldn't be sorted out if I'd brought him up differently / better!) What I find difficult is that it's blindingly obvious to me that DH's father is an Aspie! Once you know what his internal rules are, life's very easy as long as you stick to them. I suppose that having lived with HIM for so long, DS1 does look quite 'normal'! I'd say DH was also Aspie as a teenager, not that I knew what it was then, but he did pick up 'normal' social behaviour at Uni without which I would sooner have entered a convent than married him! :rotfl:

FWIW, I'm sure they suspected something was different about Alan from his days at nursery, but NO-ONE had ever made that explicit, just odd comments and sometimes noticing that he didn't really 'do' friends. But he was perfectly happy, and although I felt he was a little 'odd' at times and not at all like my best friend's boy, that was fine because DH and I aren't at all like her and her DH! :rotfl: And his oddities were never bad enough to have me sat in the GP surgery refusing to leave until they told me what was wrong!

With your MIL, it might be worth NOT using the label, but just talking about your strategies for your DS, how he finds some things difficult or confusing, and needs some extra help. Obviously you need her son on board for this one!

If you do get pushed into a corner, and get the "I told you you shouldn't let him have MMR" there's always the response of "So you'd rather I'd left him at risk of dying from measles, would you?" That's if you can't manage the polite smile and "Yes, Mother Dear, I know how you feel about MMR but we shall have to agree to differ on that."

seven-day-weekend

An interesting post as ever Savvy Sue.

As you know my son has AS. And I've begun to realise that he is just like me! My husband has begun to pick up on the things I get obsessive about. I think since we realised what afflicted Ben we've been more sensitive to it. He'll listen for a whie and then he'll say 'can we not talk any more about pensions/taxes/benefits/minutely detailed house selling strategies until tomorrow please? ' And I've realised that where Ben can bore for England about Warhammer/computer games/ stupid (imo) Japanese cartoons I can do just the same about these issues.

I was called 'precocious' by the Doctor when I was a little girl of around three and he wanted to listen to my chest with his 'magic listening machine' and I told him it was his stethoscope. I never as a child understood lies or cattiness and even now am not very good at making excuses (I get my husband to do it - left to myself I would just tell the truth even if it was necessary to be a little circumspect). I tell everyone our financial business and have had to learn to keep my mouth shut!

So, just as my niece only realised she was dyslexic when her son was diagniosed, because of Ben's condition I think I too might have AS.

Oh well, ....makes life interesting!

quietheart

Thanks SavvySue for such an kind and thoughtful post. I really appreciate it. I've tried the measles line on MIL (we're the only one who has MMRed her grandchildren.....)she'll just see this as evidence. luckily dad is on board. i don't know how to explain this to my son who as the assessment team said "tries soo hard to be normal". will sleep on it and hope it's clearer in themorning. thanks again.