Aspergers/ASD support thread

verysillyguy06

Hi...i am a social worker...2 points: really it depends on the version of events because 'strangeling' is at least a small risk in any book...however, we would undertake an assessment looking at the whole...its highly unlikely we would become heavyhanded but i cant stick my neck out for obvious reasons...otherwise i do agree with the above...talke to a child psycholigist...but a social worker could refere her to one after an initail assessment...dont do nothing...hope that helps...:o

ifits

Have sent you PM

franr43

I think its positive he was able to identify that he was jeolous - this is a normal response, all sibs have murderous feelings towards younger siblings at times, most however don't act on them because they can bear in mind why they shouldn't. Your nephews disability means he isn't able to hold in mind conflcting thoughts and feelings.

These feelings are likely to be partcularly acute with the additional stress he's under coping with the stress of separation from his mum, in the,for him, stressful and difficult environment of school

He sounds as though there are signifiant unmet needs. He should have a statement of special educational needs via the school which would fund an LSA to act as a 'social interpreter/ mediator for him.

Speech theraists, psychologists and OT's can all usefully help a child with asbergers learn stategies to cope with social stress, stop and think before acting, make sense of complex situations,seek help appropriately when emotionally overwhelmed. Medication can sometimes be of help particularly in kids with ADHD, to help with impulsive behaviour, and in Asbegers to reduce stress levels, altho he's a bit young, ususally it is looked at after 7years of age.

He is probably entitled to DLA.

He is likely to need more one to one time with mum, more adherence to his routines. Is he getting enough sleep.?

I'd suggest the GP requests an urgent referral to the Consultant Community Paediatriian to look at a coordinated multidisciplinary response to this little boys needs.

Your SIL needs to combine empathising with him with being clear with him that what he did wasn't OK, must not happen again. Clearly she shouldn't leave them alone together again, and needs to find practical solutions to meeting both boys needs, including bringing in hands on help so that she has one-to-one time with each of them

Help your SIL to not feel guilty, to not assume the very worse for now and the future, most important of all to carry on loving this little boy, to persist in geeting the help he needs and is entitled to from the statutary agencies.

Hope this is of help.

thinkginge

thanks guys for all your words of wisdom

franr43, thank you for your guide to support available, he does sleep very well and as a part time working mum my sister in law does have lots of one to one time with him, he also goes to stuctured clubs, swimming football etc, as he responds well to one to one instruction from adults

im definitely going to tell her to tell the gp to refer her immediately.

shes having immense trouble getting DLA as the hospital is dilly dallying with a definitive diagnosis. i know that in some cases children are wrongly labeled, but in this case his consultants have all agreed its aspergers, but they need to wait until hes older? is this the norm?

very sillyguy06- thanks for the advice i think we were all just panicing abit initially over what happened, and upon speaking to family we realise that although sibling jealousy is the norm. due to aspergers, his emotions seem to take extreme forms, ie he can hug you for an hour, then not speak to you for a week. but you are right you cant just sit and do nothing and ignore the ramifications of the seriousness of the situation.

my nephew doesn't have a social worker, but i think my sil is scared on her son being judged, i know social work help families also, but i think its a preconcepted idea that they can also do alot of harm, but i will definitely suggest she speaks to the doctor about getting this side of it involved.

she does go to the autism network meetings monthly and meets other mums, but the problem with austism spectrum disorders, is each case is different and one child may be more severly affected than the others.

my sil is an extremely upbeat person and never moans about her situation, thats why i got so upset for her as i dont want her to flounder with no help from the system. she has a very supportive family and i know we will all be doing alot more from now on to lessen any burdens she may have.

i also have a very ill child, and know that although they have bad days, they will always have a good one soon and i thank you all for your kind words

you have all cheered me before going to bed, feeling that all isn't lost

thanks again

Savvy_Sue

DLA doesn't need a definitive diagnosis: it's enough to describe why the child needs more help / support than an 'average' child of the same age. That, at least is my understanding. It can be tricky when they're still quite young, because even a 'normal' 5 yo might not be 'safe' in the same room as a baby at all time. You might want to look at the top of the benefits board for more advice on that: getting a Welfare Rights person to help with the DLA forms might be very worthwhile as they know what needs to be said and how it needs to be presented.

Next suggestion is IPSEA to get him the support he needs in school.

And then see the HV to ask what extra support might be available. For example, if there is a college teaching childcare, they sometimes want family placements, and I know where I used to live they would favour families with additional challenges, eg children very close in ages, special needs, mum unwell etc. And there's Homestart and SureStart - Homestart provide volunteers to support families, and what SureStart does varies from area to area.

Swan_2

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

DLA doesn't need a definitive diagnosis: it's enough to describe why the child needs more help / support than an 'average' child of the same age. That, at least is my understanding. It can be tricky when they're still quite young, because even a 'normal' 5 yo might not be 'safe' in the same room as a baby at all time. You might want to look at the top of the benefits board for more advice on that: getting a Welfare Rights person to help with the DLA forms might be very worthwhile as they know what needs to be said and how it needs to be presented

very good advice there

at the time we applied for DLA for my youngest, we had no diagnosis
we now know he has moderate gross motor Dyspraxia, severe verbal Dypraxia, developmental delay, socialising problems & some mild Aspergers type behaviour
he was assessed by a doctor sent by the DLA people who told me that in his opinion he was 'just a mummy's boy' :mad:
absolute nonsense, we appealed, were awarded DLA & he's still rightly receiving it aged 20

getting a professional to help you with the forms is essential, I sweated blood writing screeds to fill them in because his problems were so 'vague'
when he was 16 a social worker appointed by his school did them for us & she zipped through them in no time because she 'knew the ropes'

also, keep copies of the forms you submit so you can check back & see what was said last time
if you forget to do this, you can ask for copies of your last submission to be sent to you

I wish you well

quietheart

Just wanted to thank Snaggles for starting this thread and everyone who has contributed. I phoned PALS and they couldn't have been nicer, they will call me next week with an appt to go through my notes with the head of delivery suite. I'm not looking to blame, just to understand.
My son is about to be diagnosed with dyspraxia and probably mild ASD, in the book "How to understand and support children with dyspraxia" when asked 'What Causes Dyspraxia' the first bullet point is 'lack of oxygen around the time of birth (Lee and French 1994)' so there is evidence of a link.
Thanks everyone.

Snaggles

Rovers, I'm really pleased if this thread has helped you, it's certainly helped me! :T

I wish you all the best with your son, and I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

D&DD

Phew just catching up with your thread Snaggles..
My boys entrance to the world was rather fast and troublefree.. 2 hour labour and home within 6 !!
With him, although I believe he was born with Autism rather than 'damaged' by anything we suffered a marked regression at around the 18 months mark.This was when I first started to really realise something was different...

haylibo

There is a brilliant list for parents of children with disbailites who decide to home-educate. Everyone on there seems to know the ropes about obtaining diagnosis, getting DLA and as much support as possible. I'm sure they would help as they're such a lovely bunch (including myself ). The addie is http://www.he-special.org.uk/.
BW