Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

Flyboy152 wrote: »

A new teacher with different toileting rules perhaps.

exactly. and even the same teacher can change toileting rules, because what's appropriate in Reception (go when you need to!) does have to gradually change to "wait for the break" as children get older.

At 6 I'd expect to be moving away from going on demand, but not all bladders can cope with that.

Also he may have 'gone off' using the school toilets.

Flyboy152

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

exactly. and even the same teacher can change toileting rules, because what's appropriate in Reception (go when you need to!) does have to gradually change to "wait for the break" as children get older.

At 6 I'd expect to be moving away from going on demand, but not all bladders can cope with that.

Also he may have 'gone off' using the school toilets.

All of that is bringing back memories when Flyboy12 was in infant school. In reception, they had a toilet off the entrance of the classroom, so it was easy for them to go without spending much time out of the classroom, then, when he changed to his first junior school, they were over the other side of the school and it would take ten minutes to get back to (he was easily distracted). At his second junior school, the classrooms were self-contained blocks, with their own toilets, so it was easy for him to go when needed (without the ensuing disruption), but with the emphasis on waiting.

Even if this is not happening at school, it may still be having an effect at home. The probelm may not even be directly related to the toilet, it could be that he is having difficulty coping with all the changes he is experiencing and this is having an impact on his toileting "skills."

If it continues, talk to his teacher and explain to her the need for a more flexible approach to his toilet needs for the time being, until he gets used to all the changes that have happened since starting back at school.

Beetlemama

We're Asperges parenting too. We asked his ped about it and she said "Yep, probably, but he copes ok doesn't he?" We were never going to treat him as a disabled kid anyway so she's right, as long as we're all making it work we don't need a big old label saying "different". He's typically smart and oblivious to what other people care about at times, can talk to you about what he's interested in for hours, I swear I could die and he'd only notice when I stopped feeding him, he's just keep right on talking about Lego xbox or something, lol

I noticed when he was a baby that he wouldn't look at anyone and he didn't talk until he was 2, never babbled like they are suppose to, collected odd things and played with them in an odd way, he loved toy hoovers but he wouldn't hoover with them, he'd just stand them in a line and look at them.

He's almost 9 now, doing great at school, fine and happy. We barely ever say the A word in our house.

When it came to prickly labels and funny underwear, we just turned it inside out. no one cares if your pants or PJ's are on inside out, lol

Flyboy152

Beetlemama wrote: »

We're Asperges parenting too. We asked his ped about it and she said "Yep, probably, but he copes ok doesn't he?" We were never going to treat him as a disabled kid anyway so she's right, as long as we're all making it work we don't need a big old label saying "different". He's typically smart and oblivious to what other people care about at times, can talk to you about what he's interested in for hours, I swear I could die and he'd only notice when I stopped feeding him, he's just keep right on talking about Lego xbox or something, lol

I noticed when he was a baby that he wouldn't look at anyone and he didn't talk until he was 2, never babbled like they are suppose to, collected odd things and played with them in an odd way, he loved toy hoovers but he wouldn't hoover with them, he'd just stand them in a line and look at them.

He's almost 9 now, doing great at school, fine and happy. We barely ever say the A word in our house.

When it came to prickly labels and funny underwear, we just turned it inside out. no one cares if your pants or PJ's are on inside out, lol

Or you could have just cut the labels off.

Beetlemama

Flyboy152 wrote: »

Or you could have just cut the labels off.

it's the seams that give us problems in close fitting things, in t-shirts we cut them out - this was ok until he started nursery and then we found we had nothing to write his name on lol

blue_monkey_2

I'd put the toiletting down to a new teacher too, that the rules have not been outlines for him. Get her to speak to him, give him a social story, mine would just hang on until he peed himself too!!

Brenny

I haven't been on the forum for a long time but amazed to find how long this thread has become - I am the OP who started it about my grandaughter not wearing underwear. And she still doesn't. Life hasn't got any easier in lots of ways, but my daughter is finally getting some help from CAMHS (waiting for a referral to another person). And we are going down the home tutoring route now as schooling has become a bit of a nightmare (9 days out of last 23 in school, refusals for the rest). So, does anyone have any advice to give us as this is going to be a steep learning curve? :eek:

blue_monkey_2

Hi Brenny, I never read the OP as lots of others got merged.

Your DGD does the same as my DD, she will not wear anything that goes around her waist - or is has to be very, very loose. I don't know the answers I just through I would let you know you are not alone.

We manage to find there are certain styles of pants she will wear and others not, I have pent an abolute fortune on trying to find 'the right knickers' and she wears them until they literally fall apart. Try different styles is the thing I would advise. Trousers are a no-no here too, skirts with elastic waists are good (Monsoon do some nice ones, look on eBay). Ironically, when she wears a dress she has to have a tie round the waist and it has to be tied VERY tight.

Clothes shopping is a nightmare as far as she is concerned. Sorry, I do not have any advice about anything else, I just wanted to let you know about the clothes.

Brenny

Hi blue_monkey - no, we can't get a pair of pants anywhere near her now. Nor trousers. But she doesn't seem to have a worry about skirts around her waist (even quite tight ones). One of the main problems now is sanitary wear - she is having none of it which obviously causes quite a few problems and we haven't got anywhere near resolving it. (This is one of the reasons why her attendance at school is so poor, as well as the refusals.) It's great that you have found a style your DD wears. I suggest you buy a lot of them in!!

seven-day-weekend

Beetlemama wrote: »

We're Asperges parenting too. We asked his ped about it and she said "Yep, probably, but he copes ok doesn't he?" We were never going to treat him as a disabled kid anyway so she's right, as long as we're all making it work we don't need a big old label saying "different". He's typically smart and oblivious to what other people care about at times, can talk to you about what he's interested in for hours, I swear I could die and he'd only notice when I stopped feeding him, he's just keep right on talking about Lego xbox or something, lol

I noticed when he was a baby that he wouldn't look at anyone and he didn't talk until he was 2, never babbled like they are suppose to, collected odd things and played with them in an odd way, he loved toy hoovers but he wouldn't hoover with them, he'd just stand them in a line and look at them.

He's almost 9 now, doing great at school, fine and happy. We barely ever say the A word in our house.

When it came to prickly labels and funny underwear, we just turned it inside out. no one cares if your pants or PJ's are on inside out, lol

Sounds exctly like my son at that age! Actually he's still like it now at 31!