Aspergers/ASD support thread

Madmel

meritaten wrote: »

I am not too sure about his being Aspbergers hun. he sounds very much like a friends younger brother - who turned out to have a genius IQ and kids his own age bored him! he also didnt see the point of play! Ask for his IQ to be tested (you can also find the tests online btw and I would bet my last pound he would love to try them)!
Then, please dont let the school dumb him down! even if he is Aspergers he has a right to be taught at a level he is comfortable with - and if that means he overtakes other kids - TOUGH!!! how on earth do schools expect children to achieve their full potential if THAT school insist they learn along with slower children? bizarre!

I'm 100% with you on this one - DD1 was very similar. I'm a music teacher, so from a very early age, she was around musicians and asked to play the cello when she was 3. At 4 she started and so by the time she started school, had already been learning it and could also read, write and do sums. She liked some play but loved her learning so much more! We were incredibly lucky in having a wonderful EYFS teacher who encouraged her to read as much as she liked, who helped her to develop a lasting friendship and who was not afraid to give her different work which stretched and challenged her.

Fast forward 7 years and we have a confident, although slightly reserved young lady who is rather a competent cellist and who is loving life in a grammar school. She has a good sense of humour, loves reading, but just didn't do things the same way as her peers when she was young.

It sounds to me like the OP's son's teacher is a bit afraid of children who are different, which seems rather sad to me. I love the challenge of the unusual. Has the OP thought of going down the music route? 4 is quite young & physically small to start many instruments, but string instruments come in a range of sizes and once started you open up a whole different social scene of groups. Otherwise, singing is free and a new report has proven its worth amongst primary pupils (sorry, it's late & I can't remember the name of the author )

coolcait

Cripes! If that's all it takes to have a child diagnosed as havng Aspergers, it's a good thing I grew up at a time when those learning abilities were diagnosed as 'precocious' (or 'annoying'! :rotfl:).

I'm glad I grew up in a time, and a family, where I was able to stay at home until I went to big school, but had plenty of cousins to play with. When I wanted to, and they wanted to. Without the expectation that we would all join in pretend play just because our adults wanted us to play that particular way at that particular time.

I'm not a great fan of putting labels on children. However, if you have the opportunity to have Charlie assessed, it will give you the opportunity to find out whether he does need extra support, or if he is just a bright little boy who is already bright enough to have identified his own strengths and his own interests. (oops, that was suspiciously like a label, I know ;)).

Yes, there seem to be some discipline/learning issues - he can't go around pushing people out of his way; he has to do as he's told in places like the swimming pool - not least because it's dangerous.

But, whatever the outcome of any assessment, I agree with the view that the school should be trying to nurture his gifts and talents - not trying to cage and label him.

meritaten

I dont get the sense the OP is pushing for a diagnosis of Aspergers. Rather that she is aware of these symptoms and feel it MIGHT be Aspergers.
Very gifted children often present with anti social behaviour in school if the school try to make them conform - especially by this insistance on learning through play! It bored my friends brother so much he would cause mayhem! luckily HIS school and parents recognised that while other kids were playing with blocks or sand or water - he would rather be studying space and whether space travel was attainable! this was back in the early sixties! so he was allowed to stay in at breaktime and books (from the adult section of local libraries were brought in for him) and then he was found a place on a gifted childrens program and never looked back!

pigpen

I can see why you may have alarm bells ringing for aspergers.. the poor social skill side.. maybe these babyish 4 year olds simply annoy him so he just wants them to go away.

Does he have the language to tell you what it is he does like? Maybe you could look at some ideas for activities and see what he thinks he might like to try? If he is anything like my OH or at least half of my children (several are on GnT and 2 are on SEN too for other reasons.. DD3 for example excels at drama and dance but has poor literacy) the best place in the word is either cuddled up with a laptop at a strategy game that tests your brain and makes you think OR wormed away in a book Or completely geeked out on maths... I'm happy enough with a trashy novel and my knitting lol.

Could he have a stategy for dealing with other children and crowded places.. maybe he says 'I'm not comfortable/happy/feeling safe here could we please leave?' and you go immediately?? What aspects of learning has he not covered? languages (mine loved Muzzy)? history? Geography?

Everyone has a different way of learning but showing the children are learning through play is one of the things teachers have to look for and work towards with little ones and they are very uncomfortable with children who learn differently. my 6 y/o is yet to go out to play willingly. she hates the playground and 'weather' she spends outside play times sitting inside with paper and pencils.

Noone will make him someone he isn't.. work on his strengths and add new challenges to keep him interested in learning.. if they learn about birds for example at school go more in depth, nest building, migration, habitats etc.

You are very blessed to have a young man with such ability.. even if it makes the teachers life difficult.. they didn't push my oldest very able son and he became a nightmare in class because he was bored!

mel12

He comes home from school and would happily spend 3 hours writing and drawing and at the moment his favorite is nursery rhymes. He loves the computer too and I'm trying to find websites that are aimed at older children, but the graphics would suit a child of four. He isn't keen on toys at all at Christmas was totally unimportant to him. How do I make his life more varied? We tried swimming lessons but he wouldn't listen and nearly made it to the deep pool. Then Trampolining, just not bothered the same with football. Maybe music? I'm finding daily outings to the park in all weather enough now.

Does it need to be more varied or would it be better to accept him as he is?

I have aspergers myself and find routines and strong interests very calming and a source of joy. Its a different thinking style most non-aspies don't seem to get, but its not wrong. Its very stressful / painful when people try to make me change harmless things to fit their artificial norms!

meritaten

within the 'normal' world - would YOU like to be forced to do things you dont want to do? if you prefer to cuddle up with a good book and a box of chocs - would you really want to do a cross country run in the rain?
thats what its like in school - you want to learn from the books and the teacher thinks you should be in yard throwing bean bags around! stupid or what!

rozmister

JC9297 wrote: »

G & T is not a SEN. All schools should differentiate according to ability but they do not have to give extra support to children classed as G & T.

Where I live G & T children receive extra support at primary level through the SEN department. If it's not treated as an SEN it's still taught by them. They have a wider borough scheme that runs through the year but it is primarily dealt with in school by the SEN team.

tiggy_114

I am a special needs TA in an autism unit and my son is aspie. i think the reason the teacher was concerned is that for a child to have Autism spectrum disorder, they have to fit the triad of imparements. These are: Social skills problems, language and communication issues ( like not getting sarcasm, speaking old for their age, literal speaking, bad eye contact etc...), and flexability of thought issues ( things like not coping with changes too well, prefering factual books to fictional, prefers factual or predictable and controllable games instead of imagination type play) My son also is a high level reader but he doesn't understand always what he's reading, it doesn't go in. You ask him to read and he reads, but you didn't ask him to take it in so he just reads it like a robot. I'm no expert but in boys especially, Aspergers is not uncommon. I think it's 1 in 60 boys roughly. And it's not the end of the world. My son is like an ordinary boy, just a bit quirky. There is a ton of info on the net and many books which can help you understand it. And if they do diagnose him, it's the best thing i think because as my son got older he kept asking me what was wrong with him. Now i have an answer for him. Plus, school are brilliant with him now. they make alot of exceptions for him. Also, ask if they do ginger bear group at your school. It's a KS1 program to develop social skills in kids. It's really good and great fun for them as well

cobbingstones

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I shall read with interest later.

DKLS

Get him started on computer programming, aspies make fantastic coders, a friend of mine is an aspie and a coder, she earnt 600k last year!!!! not bad for a geek.