Aspergers/ASD support thread

softwaremad

blue_monkey wrote: »

You are so right softwaremad. I've just had a lady from our local childrens centre who has visited and I had told her that I have, for now, decided not to give DS medication because I do not want it to change who he is and the things he is good at. He did his 14 week gym badge in 3 weeks and it would be a shame for him to lose that ability to make (my/our?) life easier. While life is very difficult at times I do think that both of my children have wonderful qualities too and right at this moment, I do not want to change that.

A cure? Sometimes it would be nice to have to put up with some of the things they do, to have more of a 'normal' life, but at what price?

tell me more about your children - what do they do ? that is annoying? fun for them etc? my dd has phased through a lot of stuff ! and a trouble shared is a trouble halved etc

Sami_Bee

Hello :wave: sorry to barge in just thought I'd let you know about "special needs north" its an educational fair at the GMEX in Manchester the website is a bit pooh as its aimed at teachers going for the conferences http://www.teachingexhibitions.co.uk/Exhibitions/NASEN_&_TES_Special_Needs_Exhibition/North/2009/
but I have been told it is open to the public on the Saturday, I'm going to get some left handed gadgets etc for my son, there is usually lots of general educational stuff for 'normal' kids too

lottylouj

rant alert!!
why can some people not understand how important the truth is:mad: my dd dads family wont tell me the truth about any learning problems in their side of the family, i know there is something cause her dad cant spell or read properly, but they wont admit to it. if dd means so much why not just say:mad: :rolleyes:
guess im feeling down, they only broke up from school today and already im pulling my hair out. at this rate these 2 weeks are going to seem like forever, i cant even take dd out much, she cant stand crowds of pepole.

ok rant over, think a hot bath and some chocolate is needed

blue_monkey_2

Because Lottylou they are in denial!! I am sure if I asked my husbands family the same they would tell me there is nothing. But, I know how my husband is - and was as a child - just like my son. :rolleyes:

lottylouj

blue_monkey wrote: »

Because Lottylou they are in denial!! I am sure if I asked my husbands family the same they would tell me there is nothing. But, I know how my husband is - and was as a child - just like my son. :rolleyes:

thankyou

it just aint fair, i want the best for dd.
there is a meeting next week and the professionals are going to decide whether dd is on the ASD spectrum, do i tell them that her dad has these problems or do i keep quiet cause as far as i know nothing was diagnosed and considering we aint together i could seem like spite on my side.

so much for trying to stay relaxed

blue_monkey_2

softwaremad wrote: »

tell me more about your children - what do they do ? that is annoying? fun for them etc? my dd has phased through a lot of stuff ! and a trouble shared is a trouble halved etc

Well, I guess it is odds and ends really. The constant digging and fighting, biting, hiting, headbutting etc... obessions (marble runs at the moment). DS jumps on you the whole time, you can be sitting eating and he'll be barging you, banging into you, trying to jump on you. I nodded off one day and he threw a book into my face, he has smashed my glasses (I've been hit in the face today). That horrible fake crying noise he does but with tears. Being told every day that you are hated (both of them do this). Never laying in bed and leaping over you til you get up even at 5am. The running off and not coming back. Not being able to do things spontaneously - it all needs planning for a few days before.

DD is meticulous about everything and if something goes wrong we have to ensure an hour long tantrum over it. Food not touching, clothes that are not the 'perfect' fit (HUGE tantrums if clothes are too big, small, baggy, long, short... you know what mean). Likewise if she is doing something and it goes 'wrong' that is another hour tantrum. DD has this thing os smearing things everywhere and all of her toys are covered in something or another. What is it with smearing? And mixing potions from things in the bathrooms.

But you just deal with things. I have to confess this list got longer as I was typing. Maybe more things than a realised. Ha ha!!

But on the good side: My son is a fantastic athlete and he is starting to read and write really well. He can be lovely and caring and while he does not have one special or good friend everyone at school loves him and we cannot walk through the playground without someone calling him, I'd like for him to have one special friend but maybe he does not need this. Everyone knows him as he is so in your face (good or bad thing? LOL)

DD is meticulous in everything she does, she writes story books with pictures and she spends hours doing crafts and so we have little things everywhere. She is top of the class in everything and makes me so proud. They both do in their own ways. But I would not want to change the good things, just the bad - but maybe meds will change the good too which would be a huge shame.

I got their glowing school reports today and they said how proud they were of everything they had acheived since they started their new school.

As I say, I'd like to remove the bad bits - the bad bits are more than the good bits unfortunately but I put them to bed knowing that tomorrow is another day and hoping they will wake up in a better mood. That being said I dread the school holidays because of the change in routine.

Hubby just remembered that he is on call over Easter so there will be no days out as I cannot manage them both on my own so that is a shame. Never mind though, hopefully the weather will be nice so they can be in the garden.

blue_monkey_2

lottylouj wrote: »

thankyou

it just aint fair, i want the best for dd.
there is a meeting next week and the professionals are going to decide whether dd is on the ASD spectrum, do i tell them that her dad has these problems or do i keep quiet cause as far as i know nothing was diagnosed and considering we aint together i could seem like spite on my side.

so much for trying to stay relaxed

IS DH with you? They might ask about family and I always say about my side but you should do what I do and say that you do not really speak in depth about these things with his family so you do not know. It is better to be honest.

I really do not think they will tie it to any sort of family problem to be honest with you but the history helps if you have it. I can tell you now my husband is ASD as is his Dad - but they would never admit this!! I think the difference is that 'back then' these things were never dealt with. You should however tell them about your husbands reading and writing problems as they are significant. My husband cannot read or write properly either. I have to confess that this does somewhat irriate me as it means all of the teaching reading and writing is down to me. But you just have to get on with it really.

My son was leaping around near FIL and he said to stop it, I said he did not really understand because of his ASD and his reply was 'he'll understand if I smack him'. I said 'you bloody will not'! Hubby just sat there while his dad said this. :mad:

lottylouj

me and dd dad split up when she was 7 mths old, we are just about on talking terms, but i dont have a lot of time for him, he aint the type of person to be able to have a full conversation with.
he asks how dd is doing and then all i get im ummms and arrrrs he has had 2 sons with someone else 1 of them has ceribal palsy (sp?).
he has always been and for want of a better word 'simple minded', im sorry i cant think properly right now, dd has just had a hissy fit.
im a single parent. i dont know a lot about that side of dd family, her dad and nan are very similar. dd dad i remember didnt go to school a lot, his mum didnt force him to, he has always got away with a lot:mad: .

Minniethemoocher

Site seems to be down at the moment.

lottylouj

thank you again, youve put logic into it for me. i felt totally done in earlier bacause of that side of dd family, i dont know why im surprised i had years of it, i guess cause its now so important, this is her future and how it is shaped for her.
im still trying to come to terms with it all, i knew and know she has a form of ASD but when someone who knows more about it that you its just knocked me side ways, im not being a paranoid mother its real.
any way im blubbing on now.
dont know what im going to do with this closed.