Aspergers/ASD support thread

robpw2

karmacookie wrote: »

Hi Strapped

Last year there was a teacher at DS school who just did not 'get' his ASD therefore his ASD behaviours were always worse in her class and he got into no end of trouble. He would be so upset that when he got home from schoool he would take it all out at home.

I wrote to the head explaining exactly why from an ASD point his behaviour had occurred and stated that in my opinion the school was in conflict with the DDA act.

Appology from the head and from then on the school bent over backwards to accomodate him!

thats good to hear
its suprising how many people seem to think that asd is used as an excuse for covering up for bad behaviour

blue_monkey_2

It's funny you should say that Rob, I've come to let everyone know how it went with that that healthcare worker that comes to my house.

This week she arrived again but the doctor had sent a letter that stated he had x, y, z and had noted on another letter to a paediatrician in this area (we are in the same HS area but border - by 300 mtrs - another big town and they are 'pushing' us over to the bigger town!!) and on this letter it stated he needed assessment for his ASD. Suddenly everything changed. Out came the books on kids with Special Needs, gone was the mention of sticker charts for behaviour and suddenly she 'could see I was coping with things very well'. Well, how funny. Attitudes change because of one little statement in a letter!!

She tried to make an appointment to see me in in Jan but I have to take Ryan to S&L and so I said I'd see her there. I've also found a little group for mums who's kids are ASD so I am off to that group in the New Year and I am making time for it as I think it will be helpful.

However, she did seem to think that by getting Ryan a clock (he has one) and showing him 6.00 (we have) that we can suddenly get him to 'lay in bed' until 6am...... my husband was here and we both tried to tell her that we had tried this already, many times, and that he already had a clock and in the end we said we would give it a try. Also, could we not let him come downstairs and play while we had a lay in..... OMG. As if!! In the last week he wanted candles lit - which he would go do himself if we was not there to supervise him! Let's not even mention him terrorising the animals and trashing the house, for the sake of a lie in. Besides, as soon as he wakes I am up anyway. I said he would go out, she said get a lock fitted, we showed her the lock and said he can open that by scaling door frames. Apparently we have to tell him not to...... as it is dangerous. My husband and I were giving sideways glances to each other, I was trying so hard not to laugh because she was not even listening to anything we had to say, everything she suggested we do we had already done but we now had to tell him it was dangerous not to do those things..... I really do think she has read a few books and she holds parenting classes but has not got any real idea of ASD. So we said yes to all the answers she needed yes to and will carry on as we were!

And I have to take him out of school for the afternoon to go and see the S&L therapist class she holds as I've still not had the S&L report 6 months after it was done.

krailton

Hi

I am lucky that the school my son goes to is a very small school, so although he does not have a leading part, he is part of the play as he sings with them, though very fidgety, but they do not exclude him..I think the smaller the school the more they tend to help..we have been very lucky so far, and do worry when he has to go to juniors, though that will still be a small school.
His teacher went on a one day course last week to learn all about aspergers and how to help children who have this...He is the only child they have and have had...
I am starting an early bird programe in march and wonder if anyone else has done this yet?
thanks

mandy.h_2

have read all posts and all i can say isits like reading my sons life history only except once he got to secondary school we did not have time to wait for diagnosis as he was nearly being expelled, so we paid to see a expert £400 but worth every penny.

We atten a youth group for kids with ASD and a parent support group all set up by parents all i can say is we laugh cry and laugh some more while our kids play and yes i mean play togethe. they have gonr from siting in all four corners to actually interacting, yes its took a long time but makes your heart swell when u see a child who would not speak joining in for first time

my ds is 14 now and no things arent perfect nut we are getting there

karmacookie

Hey blue monkey, your post brought back memories of DS when he was small!

I got locks fitted to the kitchen and living room doors and would sleep with the keys (front door one as well) beside my bed!

I would sneak into his room and put a snack there for morning, his morning always started at 5.00, and make sure there was nothing in the bathroom that he could injure himself on.

I had no choice but to do this after one morning, well middle of the night really, he got up and tried to bake a cake :rotfl:

somehow telling him that this behaviour was dangerous didn't work

Js_Other_Half

An option for outdoor locks, especially for children who would be at risk outside, is a fingerprint reading lock?

Something like this, but I'm sure there are other versions elsewhere which might be cheaper.
http://www.egoo.co.uk/catalog/adel-trinity-788-biometrics-digital-fingerprint-lock-p-735.html

Edited to say I've seen something similar much cheaper on ebay - just do a search for fingerprint locks.

Strapped

Just to say, the school that DS is at IS a very small, village primary school (less than 80 kids in the entire school) so yes I'd've thought that they would've been able to create a part for DS that he could manage, rather than saying "this is what we're doing, and if he doesn't fit then tough". Tricky though - we are making progress so I'm reluctant to rock the boat at the moment. (He's only been back at school full time hours this half of term). I can see it from their point of view too - they think that they are "not stressing" DS by not making him do something he doesn't want to - but actually, he loved last year's concert and if they had pitched it to him right, he would've taken part and enjoyed it I think

parisjordana

Can I tell you about my son when he started high school this teacher from day1 had it in for him and would glory in the moment at having me called in for my son doing something "others wouldnt do" .
He then went on to tell me that ASD or ADHD DOES NOT EXIST because of course he was a teacher and had the perfect children and was an expert hahaha....he then went on to tell me that he will win the battle with my son, he will win....well he tried to have him expelled and even once signed forms on my behalf fo him to see a councelor in school and I didnt know anything about this till my son came home from school and said "O by the way a lady took me out of class today" I was fuming he had no right to signature a letter that was meant for me.
He then went on to accuse my son of not giving in a pound for wear what you like day before the day had arrived and i said I wasnt giving it to him till the day as he would loose it or spend it or give it away, he then said your son will come to school in his uniform then....abruptly I said no he wont he will be the same as all the others and have a non uniform day,well it turned out you could bring the money in on the day so this teacher realy was trying hard to single my son out he even went on to read his name out in assembly for not paying which he did as i took it in on the day "Out of principle".
You ask did he win the battle after 5 years with my son Id say nope ok so my son only left with a few GCSEs but went on to do more at college.....hes proved to that old man (even though he was only early forties) that he was wrong and no-one wins a battle with an ADHD or ASD child you have to learn to accept and understand them and NOT fight them and then you will be rewarded with a different but special child.

seven-day-weekend

parisjordana, for the first four years of his secondary school, my son's form teacher did not like him AT ALL. He used to put on the reports that 'Ben doesn't bother to make any friends' and 'Ben needs to get his act together within his peer group'.

OK, so no-one knew then that he had Asperger's Syndrome but this teacher's attitude was not one of trying to help or understand Ben's 'peculiarities', it was of dislike.

I suppose Teachers are only human and will like some kids better than others (my husband is a retired teacher, and worked at the same school as Ben and this form teacher - he couldn't stand the form teacher!) - but even so, they should act in a professional manner and not let their dislike show.

When Ben went into year 11, this teacher, thankfully, left the school.

rebl43

Hi, was looking for a bit of advice- my son has just (yesterday) been diagnosed with Aspergers. What do I do now? It seems that I have been waiting for this for so long, but it has dawned on me that now he has the diagnosis, nothing has actually changed. He is 9 and the school is already dealing with his educational needs, so what difference does a diagnosis really make?