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Aspergers/ASD support thread

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  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,718 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Yep that is what I was told regarding Aspergers but they also said it for my younger son who is complex autistic with very complex needs.

    That said, they did try to help by getting placements with child carers (for me to fund out of the DLA) but had no luck due to middle son's (aspergers) history of violence and aggression.
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    SingleSue wrote: »
    One thing I will never ever do again, is ask social services for help as they decided there was some fault and only after several (very annoyed) letters from specialists involved with my boys, did they back down and say I was doing a good job.
    I think this is one of the hardest thing about being an aspergers mum - you always feel like your parenting skills are under scrutiny, because obviously if your child has behavioural issues, there could be a huge number of reasons why, including abuse, so they have to check it isn't that. But some of them are very heavy handed, and make you feel like you are being interrogated.
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Fairly trivial question.....how do you pronounce Aspergers?

    With a hard g, as in goose? Or a soft g as in general?

    We say it with a hard g, because I think the guy who discovered it was Austrian, so I thought that was the most likely pronunciation. And one of the people from camhs says it that way too, but the other person from camhs pronounces it with a soft g, as do a lot of other people.

    Does anyone know for sure?
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,337 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Personally I go for an in between sort of g ...
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Snaggles
    Snaggles Posts: 19,503 Forumite
    Savvy_Sue wrote: »
    Personally I go for an in between sort of g ...
    I like it! :rotfl:
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Sue-UU
    Sue-UU Posts: 9,669 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    A lovely young lass who was confiding in me about her Aspergers when we were at College for IT courses prounounced it with the 'g'eneral sound.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 001 My Totals = 08 = £163.95 09 = £315.78 10 = £518.80 11 = £481.87 12 = £694.53 13 = £1200.20! 14 = £881 15 = £839.21 16 = £870.48 17 = £871.52 18 = £800.00 19 = £851.022021=£820.26[/SizeGrand Totals of all members (2008 uncounted) 2009 = £32.154.32! 2010 = £37.581.47! 2011 = £42.474.34! 2012 = £49.759.46! 2013 = £50.642.78! 2014 = £61.367.88!! 2015 = £52.852.06! 2016 = £52, 002.40!! 2017 = £50,456.23!! 2018 = £47, 815.88! 2019 = £38.538.37!!!! :j
  • mandy.h_2
    mandy.h_2 Posts: 90 Forumite
    not sure if ds would go to respite but it would be nice to be offered, i just completely ignore comments about my parenting skills or ask people if they can do better take ds for a day they soon shut up. I notice its not just professionals who have opinions on how to deal with situation but certain members of our family. i have grown a very thick skina and learnt quickly how to be blunt in my replies.
    proud mum of son with aspergers
  • verysillyguy06
    verysillyguy06 Posts: 37,692 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    mandy.h wrote: »
    not sure if ds would go to respite but it would be nice to be offered, i just completely ignore comments about my parenting skills or ask people if they can do better take ds for a day they soon shut up. I notice its not just professionals who have opinions on how to deal with situation but certain members of our family. i have grown a very thick skina and learnt quickly how to be blunt in my replies.
    I struggle with that...when i do an assessment...unless i push the 'bad' or stress in parenting...the system does not allow much help !!!!!! so...i apologise to th cases i have to assess but explain this....the system is not great for your barely coping parents who do not loose their temper...however, i have been able to go for 'crisis' in near future expression and secured services for my family...another problem now is that many serviecs that offer respite...i,e. barnados, are not set up for your difficult child...their caeres are often used to the 'easy' child but the 'easy' child will now not get any services anymore and so barnardos are trying to change...we as social care have very few own resources.....:o
    You have the right to remain silent.Anything you do say will be misquoted and then used against you ;)

    Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.

    Bruce Lee
  • Taffoire
    Taffoire Posts: 291 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Photogenic
    Ok here goes,

    I'm a noob to posting on this thread but have been lurking for a little while (ok, a long while :o ), but now feel I have to jump in because I'm struggling :(

    About me: I'm a married 28 year old mum of 3 boys - 6, 4, 2. Eldest is extrovert Aspie. I'm a volunteer support mentor for sure start, a debt and benefit advisor working for communities first and professional facepainter.

    We seem to "manage" the AS quite well, I now recognise some of the triggers and sometimes am able to stave off a meltdown by distraction or social stories.

    The thing that's prompted me to come here this morning is right now, DS1 is upstairs building lego as he's just come through a bad meltdown where he self harmed and attacked me.

    I'm sat here crying as I'm just feeling so totally lost right now. It's one hour post meltdown and apart from the marks on his face and arms where he hurt himself he's totally oblivious to what happened.

    Coincidentally we're seeing the paed consultant this morning at 1130 (just a routine appt).

    DS1 was in no fit state to go to school this morning, I had to get my father to come and sit with him (my father has undiagnosed "social difficulties") while I tooke DS2 to school and begged the teachers to take him in 15 minutes early so I could get back to DS1.

    Being utterly honest here, the guilt I'm feeling for my other sons is what's hurting me the most. How can I keep putting my 4 and 2 year old boys through this. I feel like I abandoned him this morning :cry:

    It's not that I'm disregarding DS1's feelings but I spend to most time with him and doing for him I feel like I'm pushing the other 2 aside.

    Upstairs at home, we've had to board up the bedroom windows because DS1 throws himself at the glass :(

    sorry for the moan :o I'm just feeling a bit alone right now. Not many people see this side of me, I'm always the strong one

    Lou xxx
    ___________________________________________
    *leans against wall*
    *sips a capri sun*
    ..hey
    ______________________________
  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,718 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    mandy.h wrote: »
    not sure if ds would go to respite but it would be nice to be offered, i just completely ignore comments about my parenting skills or ask people if they can do better take ds for a day they soon shut up. I notice its not just professionals who have opinions on how to deal with situation but certain members of our family. i have grown a very thick skina and learnt quickly how to be blunt in my replies.

    Lmao snap!
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
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