Inconsiderate neighbour - noise

Norman_Castle

coffeehound wrote: »

By noise that could easily have been solved by the OP buying ear plugs.

Very selfish solution offered by someone who wakes their neighbour through the night and complains when woken by them.

pickledonionspaceraider

I get your POV , OP, but you really do need to speak to her

At the moment, resentment is being built up because you have been behaving passive aggressive, slamming doors etc - you really do need to speak to her. It is the only way forwards here

You are keeping the anger and upset inside you, when you need to let her know!

I do sympathise, but if it is not enough to put in a formal complaint, literally NOTHING will change unless you speak to her

edgex

What is the property built from?
Is it a new or old purpose built, or a recent conversion, or an old conversion?

coffeehound

AliceBanned wrote: »

I agree. There are always plenty of trolls on here

Charming.

AliceBanned wrote: »

who think they know it all and like to say unpleasant things because exactly that, they think the OP is to blame because they have never been there and lived through it.

FTR I've had nightmare neighbours that you would not believe; only wish they could have been bonking or occasionally drinking late at night.

AliceBanned wrote: »

For what it's worth:

I use earplugs regularly but the noise is over and above this and besides, I'm not going to use them every night, that wouldn't be fair when the place is otherwise very peaceful and all other neighbours are reasonable

So you don't wear ear plugs, then.

AliceBanned wrote: »

I don't expect total silence as someone has suggested, I just don't like being woken up frequently in the middle of the night by people partying and not caring about having basic standards of behaviour
The lease does stipulate a lot of things that she is frequently breaching including no housework or loud music after 11pm and before 7am. I accept noise outside this within reason but really? 2am? 5.30am? It's hardly essential to do the hoovering.

I would bet this was done in retaliation at your rude, disrespectful and anti-social door-slamming or floor banging.

coffeehound

Norman_Castle wrote: »

Very selfish solution offered by someone who wakes their neighbour through the night and complains when woken by them.

Selfish? A completely commonsense solution that avoids unneccessary unpleasantness and conflict for noises that one reasonably expects from time to time.

Skiddaw1

Having been in a very similar situation more than once, I also think you should approach her, as politely as possible, apologise for thumping the floor/sticking notes through the door previously (however much it sticks in your throat) and see if you can befriend her and come to an amicable agreement about what is acceptable and what isn't. There may, of course, be things you are (quite unconsciously) doing that are driving her mad too. It's an unfortunate occupational hazard of flat/terraced house life.


I've taken that approach twice and whilst once it didn't ultimately work (things improved for a time and then worsened so we moved on) the second time we ended up being reasonably good friends/proper neighbours, so there may be light at the end of the tunnel if you're prepared to lay it on with a trowel. Nothing to lose by giving it a go anyway... good luck...

AliceBanned

Norman_Castle wrote: »

The op isn't asking for that. The only person on here that has heard the noise is the op. Why presume she is incapable of judging what’s reasonable?

Exactly. Thanks Norman Castle you've hit the nail on the head.


Some on here are exaggerating as though I would be distressed over something more minor than it is. Believe me when it happens, it is extreme and I have tried to tolerate for years because I have tried to assess and accept 'normal' amounts of noise and was trying to give her a bit of leeway as obviously living in a block (built in 2003 incidentally so not great sound insulation) there will be neighbour noise. Living in a block is also the reason all neighbours should act more considerately and have awareness. Why should THEY behave as they are in a detached house?


How come I didn't hear the previous neighbours for 4 years before her in the same flat, if I'm the one with the issue?! There are incidentally the usual day to day noises from all sides but I accept these and don't mind them. This issue is far worse.


Also on the moral issue of how I ' should' behave, how can someone judge how much stress over a prolonged period affects someone? The stress is my excuse, I'm hardly going to be able to stay calm 100% of the time when I'm upset and vulnerable. I'm only being honest anyway. Obviously I know there are better ways to deal with the situation but I don't know many people who do so in reality when woken in the middle of the night. Maybe the note will have worked anyway.

AliceBanned

onwards&upwards wrote: »

So just to be clear, the noise nuisance is her having her sex life and coming home late occasionally?

As a result of this you’ve got into tit for that where you deliberately bang on the floor so she then deliberately makes noise to annoy you?

Either relax a bit or move i’d say.

To be clear, that isn't what I described, no.

AliceBanned

Davesnave wrote: »

But bad neighbours goes way beyond night time/early morning noises.


Many people live in places where noise is normal, even at night, but with no personal blame attached. When issues become personal, sensitisation occurs.

There is personal blame attached because it was previously very peaceful here and her noise has been extreme and in the early hours disturbing my sleep frequently, therefore hardly endearing me to her. I never heard noise from the flat below before she was there. She is inconsiderate.

Norman_Castle

coffeehound wrote: »

Selfish? A completely commonsense solution that avoids unneccessary unpleasantness and conflict for noises that one reasonably expects from time to time.

No bias there. A "completely common sense solution" that suits you because you don't have to do anything.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6035286