Me Dad has gone and I have done what I think is all is needed ....

silvercar

It must be such a difficult time for you. If you need to talk, now or in the future, I can recomend:

Motor Neurone Disease Association
PO Box 246,
Northampton
NN1 2PR
Tel: 01604 250505
Fax: 01604 624726/638289
Email: [EMAIL="enquiries@mndassociation.org"]enquiries@mndassociation.org[/EMAIL]
Website: http://www.mndassociation.org

MND Connect

MND Connect offers advice, practical and emotional support and directing to other services and agencies. The service is for people living with MND, carers, family members, Health and Social Care Professionals and Association staff and volunteers who directly support people with MND.
It is open Monday to Friday 9.00am to 10.30pm.
Tel: 08457 626262
Email: [EMAIL="mndconnect@mndassociation.org"]mndconnect@mndassociation.org[/EMAIL]

There is very helpful and practical info on their website.

Savvy_Sue

I am sorry for your loss.

Have you skimmed the sticky on What to do when a partner/spouse dies? I am sure there will be practicalities there.

As for the Sympathy cards, many of us don't know what to say, so we choose a card as best we can. I would only send an overtly religious one if it seemed appropriate, ie if I was sure the deceased shared my faith. But the choice is not always easy or straightforward!

LuciferTDark

Dave I'm sorry to hear about your dad, it's a tough thing to go through, made even worse at this time of year with all the smiling faces about looking forward to having fun, but you've got loads of support here to keep you going.

Did anyone mention that Banks & Insurance companies always want a copy of the death certificate before they'll do anything with accounts & policies?

Have you been directed to this page? http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/dev_007984.xml.html

You may be able to get help towards paying for the funeral as they are very expensive, my Wife's Aunt passed away just over 2 yrs ago & there wasn't much change from £3000 for her simple funeral.

Anyway that's enough blathering from me, I'll be thinking of you & your family, take care & stay strong.

hilstep2000

Can't offer any advice, but sending you ((((((((HUGS)))))) and love. My Mum has just been diagnosed with MND, andit's horrible to see her going downhill so fast. It's a horrible disease, and one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

bedshaped

I can't offer any practical advice, just wanted to say sorry to hear of your sad loss.

consultant31

I'm sorry for your loss and now exactly how you're feeling. I'm an only 'child' and I lost my lovely Dad in June and some part of every day is a struggle.

The only useful thing I can think of that you've not mentioned doing, is to contact the council tax people. If your Mum is now living alone, she can get a reduction of 25%.

We found that it tooks weeks and weeks to get everything sorted - lots of payments made to him had to be returned because, even though they'd been informed, it seems the computers weren't and kept on spitting out his pension etc.

Just today Dad got a Christmas card from a company that I've rung twice before to inform them of his death - I'm afraid I lost my temper and gave them a rollocking and have also sent a letter telling them what we think!

It's a very hard time, I wish you well.

Gillianh2

))))))))))))))))))HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

You are coping tremendously well and I am glad that you are managing to keep some humour as this will help you and your Mum cope.

Thinking of you

dazed

Thank you all so much for your support and advice. It Means so much!

I will go through all the posts today and check things.

Dave

Quillion

Hello Dave

I am so sorry for your loss and my thought are with you and your lovely mum at this sad time.

I lost my dad in 2001 very different circumstances as he died suddenly.

I know things have to be organised but please please don't do what i did and spend so much time organnising with no time to grieve.

After my dad died i cried a little but then as mum fell to pieces i felt i had to be strong for her. I have a step brother and sister but he was my birth dad.

I didn't cry after the first time i was so busy organising and sorting everything out. I did not cry a his funeral and wentback to work and just got on with my life. I felt oddly detached though i did not know that then and only when my aunty died and we went to her funeral did the reality of losing my dad hit home. I felt like we had lost the missing link to our family and began to cry and didn't stop for about three months.

Please please promise me to remember you have lost him to and so what if eveything doesn't get done straight away it will get done eventually.

Take care and feel frr to PM me if you just want to chat. Feelings better out than in even to a perfect stranger

Love to you and Your Mum xxx

helloecho

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Love and strength to you, your Mum, and the rest your family.

Reading the above post from consultant31 you might want to go through your Mum's address book and make sure that all of their distant friends know of the situation... I can imagine it would be especially difficult to receive Christmas cards addressed to your Dad. Although you say earlier that you find it more upsetting when his name is missing, so I guess either way is going to be difficult.

I hope things get easier for you in the coming months, but in the meantime, don't forget to make time for yourself and remember it's ok greive xx