NIghtmare Neighbour

m0bov

benmeg wrote: »

The houses are in very tight order so there isnt much place to go - we could smoke outside our garage but for me that makes me anxious as we are then in her sight - so smoking in our porch means we're out the way

Think I'd be outside your garage, that's what most do, you don't want her controlling you.

KatieDee

ska_lover wrote: »

Some good points - and I agree, it shouldn't be on the OP (or any decent human) to have to move from a bad neighbour

Unfortunately, due to long-winded red-tape, in getting anything done....most often it is easier to just move - as you have to go through months and years of diarising every single thing, let it take over your headspace - and even then, an ASBO or similar may make no difference - this lady cannot get evicted. You know the anxiety (ongoing) that this can cause.

Sometimes it is better to cut your losses, even though, as you say it doesn't feel right, it is almost like victim-blaming.

There is something really ingrained in being 'wronged' in your own home. It feels there is no escape

It is a real crappy situation it really is

And furthermore, it is shocking how common this situation is (in my City at least) . I know three households in our immediate family have had serious neighbour issues - and even when someone gets assaulted, it seems the onus is on the victim to sort it out or move - ie put up or shut up...It is a properly !!!!! situation

Me and Hubby have often said, if we were to win huge on the lottery, we would seriously consider buying an Island, or one of those abandoned welsh mining villages and living with our family and friends - where everyone can leave safely and peacefully

You might say that I'm a dreamer - But I am not the only one..

I would agree with you! Perhaps we could go halves? :rotfl:

My reply was incredibly black and white and being realistic, I know there are many different factors involved in neighbour disputes. At the end of the day, even bad neighbours have to live somewhere. I just wish they could all be housed next to each other, allowing the more reasonable of us to live in peace. Maybe that would help them see how unacceptable their behaviour is!

[Deleted User]

Call 111 and report her behaviour to the police. Film it on your phone if you can. Do this every time, build up the evidence.

Often just having the police visit you for a quick chat afterwards is enough to scare these people into behaving.

ripplyuk

I would just leave. Honestly. I know it’s not the ‘correct procedure’ but I would break the lease and find somewhere else to live. Report her to the police, tell the landlord and try to video or record some of her behaviour if possible. The landlord may or may not bother suing you but I would use that as evidence of why you couldn’t stay (which may not work).

I know everyone will say this is bad advice but you have only just moved in and already it’s making you anxious. After 6 months or a year, it will destroy your mental health. She is well known to neighbours for her behaviour so is unlikely to change. It could even affect your job if she comes up with all sorts of allegations against you. I just don’t think it’s worth it.

bertiewhite

1. Engage with No's 3 & 4
2. Engage with your local PCSO
3. Keep a diary
4. Keep your behaviour squeeky clean, even smile and say hello to her
4. Take some comfort that it's not just you that she's got a problem with - she probably hates the entire world

barbiedoll

ripplyuk wrote: »

I would just leave. Honestly. I know it’s not the ‘correct procedure’ but I would break the lease and find somewhere else to live. Report her to the police, tell the landlord and try to video or record some of her behaviour if possible. The landlord may or may not bother suing you but I would use that as evidence of why you couldn’t stay (which may not work).

I know everyone will say this is bad advice but you have only just moved in and already it’s making you anxious. After 6 months or a year, it will destroy your mental health. She is well known to neighbours for her behaviour so is unlikely to change. It could even affect your job if she comes up with all sorts of allegations against you. I just don’t think it’s worth it.

Much as I hate myself for saying this, I do agree with ripplyuk. I’m a bit of a loudmouth and my husband isn’t the sort who puts up with any nonsense, so we would probably approach this in a different way. But my best friend had a neighbour from hell, and he left her broken after a 3 year campaign against her and her family.

Each of us deal with things in our own way. If you’re not the confrontational types, then either bide your time and see out your contract, or break it and face the financial consequences. You need to put your health first, and if that means leaving her for someone else to deal with, then so be it.

rococomaiden

Are any mental health services or charities in the area who would conduct a home visit for an assessment?
Since you aren't a relative I am not sure if it would be possible though.
I'd also avoid smoking near her windows, walk further down the street if needs be (or switch to vaping indoors).