Huge family financial mess

Pollycat

And what about your sister's misuse of POA powers in relation to the £15k from your Father's savings?

paddy's_mum

WigglyWoo2 wrote: »

I may have to involve solicitors

May? MAY?! :eek: It seems to me that you are being too laid back by half!

I suspect that if you don't act decisively and very soon, you run the risk of yourself being assumed to be in cahoots with these abuses.

Your mother drip feeding information to you doesn't help your understanding either and so that needs a serious conversation. Would your brother come over for a fact finding mission...?

Good luck.

Pollycat

paddy's_mum wrote: »

May? MAY?! :eek: It seems to me that you are being too laid back by half!

I suspect that if you don't act decisively and very soon, you run the risk of yourself being assumed to be in cahoots with these abuses.

Your mother drip feeding information to you doesn't help your understanding either and so that needs a serious conversation. Would your brother come over for a fact finding mission...?

Good luck.

I agree with the bit in bold.

Given what the OP said in his first post, I'd be putting myself way out of reach of any comeback on this misue of funds.

WigglyWoo2 wrote: »

A few weeks before my dad died, while she, my mum and me had joint POA for him (he had dementia) my sister 'borrowed' £15k from my Dad and transferred it from his online bank account. He would have agreed at that moment to a loan but she has not paid it back. It wasn't discussed with me and she was reluctant that I knew as it wasn't in my Dad's best interests.

Even if it meant 'blowing apart the family for good'.

I'd question if the OP's Mum is being totally truthful with him.
It appears the sister owed Mum £12k (£27k in total to OP's Mum & Dad less the £15k taken before the Dad died) at the time of the first post.
And suddenly - the sister has paid some money back!

Hectors_House

DCFC79 wrote: »

Your sister could help by selling the properties she has bought, clear the debt wkth the freeholder, repay the money back to your mum and get herself sorted.

It sounds like she’s one of these numpties who followed financial advise and leveraged the properties against each other.

Not a lot of wiggle room if she’s eaten away at any equity that way.

Plus, it sounds like she’s got herself into such a mess she is no longer thinking straight (thinking £15k from Dad will help when it’s comparative to using a sticking plaster to fix a leak in a dam). And she will keep throwing little bits of money she can con her mother out of to keep limping along if not stopped.

An awful situation and I hope the OP puts a stop to it soon.

As others have mentioned, this is clearly elder abuse and if it were me I’d be getting legal advise pronto so when this all blows open (as it must) I don’t find myself being investigated along with the thieving sister.

maman

Martin did a radio feature (BBC 5 Live) yesterday on coercive control including financial abuse. Elder Abuse was specifically mentioned in this context. So it's not just the financial rules that your sister's broken regarding POA etc. it's the abuse in general which is illegal in terms of domestic violence. Please follow it up.:)

chesky

You beat me to it Maman, I heard the same programme and immediately thought of this post.

TBagpuss

OP, your mum wonb't become liable simply because your sister is living with her and using her address.

She would only be liable for any debt where she had signed the contract or where any debt was in joint nbames.

She would be liable if she greed to act as a gaurator for any borrowing your sister took out, for instnace.

She might, if your sister's debts get out of hand, find she had bailiffs showing up at the door.

Bailiffs are a bit like vampires, they can't come in unless you let them in,m but once they have ben in once they can come in on subsequent vists. So if they show up, alwasys got outside, shut the door behind you and talk on the proch, and don't belive them if they ask to come in to use the bathroom!

they can also only take things beloging to the person who owes the debt, but they can rewquire proof, so if you mum buys a new TV or anything, make sure that she keep the receipt.

Simialrly, her credit should not be affected unless she has anyyhting in jont names with your sister.

diggingdude

I would be worried that mother ends up having a financial association where she have a guarantees or signs for money for this company