Money Moral Dilemma: Best man seems to be overcharging for the stag do - should we pay up?

onwards&upwards

A home cooked meal for a stag do? Are you sure it’s not for a massive takeaway delivery?

justcreatedthis

onwards&upwards wrote: »

A home cooked meal for a stag do? Are you sure it’s not for a massive takeaway delivery?

Yeah. We will be in the middle of nowhere. The money is for a big food and drink shop for everyone. I would have thought £25 was more than enough.

flea72

£200 is too round a figure for accommodation, food and activities.

I dont know of any standard stag activities that cost £25 per person. Most are way above that. So asking for more details is perfectly ok

If you are buying the food and cooking yourself, then £25pp is reasonable. Thats at least a crate of beer each, steak, chips and a dessert. Although if someone is just rustling up a curry or spag bol, then its a a few £s overpriced

Airbnb have quite a few fees on top of the nightly price, such as cleaning and damage cover, that need paying upfront. Maybe theyve included these instead of being out of pocket themself?

[Deleted User]

What about other meals like breakfast and lunch or is dinner the only meal you're going to have on this stag do?

I suspect that as you're a stag party the Air BnB host is making you book out the entire place even if you don't need all the rooms. For example, if there are 10 rooms and you only 8 they're not going to be able to rent out the other 2 because no other guests are going to want to share with a bunch of staggers.

You've got 3 choices:

1) Be firm and insist on a detailed breakdown of costs
2) Suck it up
3) Don't go

Pollycat

flea72 wrote: »

Airbnb have quite a few fees on top of the nightly price, such as cleaning and damage cover, that need paying upfront. Maybe theyve included these instead of being out of pocket themself?

This is worth considering.
Are a group of stags going to leave the place in the condition expected?

TBH, I've never heard of a stag do that consisted of doing a home-cooked meal in a place in the middle of nowhere.

I'd be seriously considering having a very urgent appointment that weekend.

EricDeeson

Tell best man it's too costly so you're arranging your own accommodation. Others may follow you if they agree, so you'll have to do it!

Cheers - Eric

Pollycat

EricDeeson wrote: »

Tell best man it's too costly so you're arranging your own accommodation. Others may follow you if they agree, so you'll have to do it!

Cheers - Eric

This would normally be a good suggestion but the OP has already rejected that suggestion because:

justcreatedthis wrote: »

Thanks - unfortunately this just isn't possible as the accommodation is in the middle of nowhere. It's actually an excellent albeit expensive choice, beautiful place to stay from what we can see. Point is that the price he is asking us seems to differ from the actual cost/what he might have been charged.

I guess it's unlikely that there will be alternative accommodation anywhere near and it appears that the best man is organising a massive cook-up for all guests by using £25 per person to buy ingredients (and drink).

I can't help wondering if the groom is aware of the arrangements and if it's what he'd really want for his stag do..

Mojisola

justcreatedthis wrote: »

Guess this is exactly where we're at. Push him again, after he's already knocked us back, or just suck it up to avoid further awkwardness/stay home.

The ones that we know that are going are all as decent as they come. Hence us giving him the benefit of the doubt this whole time. Some upfront clarity would have avoided all of this no doubt.

If you do (resentfully) go along with the charge to keep the peace, will the peace survive once you're all stuck in the middle of nowhere with people you don't know very well and the drink is flowing freely?

As for the meal, just who is doing the cooking and clearing up - yet more scope for arguments.

I feel sorry for the groom-to-be.

flanker6

I'd ask. And, it's not just the amount, it's also the principle of the best man potentially taking advantage of mates!


I have a "friend" that organises group trips away and has the reputation of making sure that he gets a "freebie." No one asked him for a breakdown of costs and it gradually ate away at me over the years.


It came to a head one time when he was in charge of the "drinks kitty" and asked us for another contribution when I had calculated that there still should have been plenty in the kitty.


I regret that I let it get that far because I had nowhere to go other than call him a cheat. And he couldn't justify where all the money had been spent. It ruined the night.


So, please ask him before you allow it to fester like I did.

JayD

As so many of the above ...


"Why not ask for a bit more detail?

Say something like "Can you calrify what the £200 includes? i thought we were looking at x hotel whoch would be about £xx each - am I missing something?" "


Sad you needed to ask really.