Money Moral Dilemma: Best man seems to be overcharging for the stag do - should we pay up?

justcreatedthis

db2016 wrote: »

if it was someone i knew, i'd not question it unless i found it a lot / could help organise it for better prices etc.
anyone else i'd ask for break down. always best to with anything, so you know what the cost is made up of!

Most of the group know the best man, more than half; we're a smaller faction that doesn't at all. We have asked for a breakdown and it has even been provided to us (£150 accommodation/£25 activities/£25 food and drink). It's after looking into the accommodation more that we think something is not right.

suecoo1966 wrote: »

So if ten people are being overcharged by £40 the best man is making £400! 20 people and that's £800! we haven't all got money to give away and to some £40 is a fair bit of money. The costs should be transparent

Exactly! But can we keep insisting? We've already tried and we hit a brick wall.

sparkermarketing wrote: »

Say to the best man/group, that "the hotel looks a little expensive for me unfortunately, I have found X deal which I will be booking for myself" - or say that the accommodation isnt up to the standard that you want, so you will be booking your own.
I have been on stag doo's where both of these situations has occurred and nobody from the rest of the group has batted an eyelid.

Thanks - unfortunately this just isn't possible as the accommodation is in the middle of nowhere. It's actually an excellent albeit expensive choice, beautiful place to stay from what we can see. Point is that the price he is asking us seems to differ from the actual cost/what he might have been charged.

Pollycat wrote: »

His skirting round the questions being asked sounds suspicious.
In the circumstances, I wouldn't be happy to just hand over £200.
Do you know the groom well enough to bring it up with him?

This is exactly how we feel :mad:
I'd say we definitely know him well enough, but we originally opted against this. I like the way you've worded it though re underestimating some of the costs. Could be an idea if phrased like that.

Pollycat wrote: »

TBH, £25 for food and drink doesn't sound like a lot of money.

Do you think so? We wondered whether that, too, seemed a bit steep for dinner and drinks for one evening. Given the number of people, we're talking more than £300 for one night. Would be keen to see if others also think this is in fact reasonable - in which case overcharging for one thing and undercharging for another (and not overcharging for both!) might actually balance itself out.

Thanks again.

SallyB21

Absolutely. Simply ask what is included for the price and are you going to be asked for more e.g. to pay some or all of the groom's costs. Some people "thought everyone knew about ..." something when they write an email and don't realise this is not always the case.

It is also reasonable to want an idea of the budget in advance as it would be very embarrassing to find you have to pay far more than you expected , given you also have the cost of the wedding coming up.

SallyB21

£25 for a meal including drinks.My friend, this is an absolute bargain. You can't get a meal at Pizza Express for that price. You need to get out more...

gettingtheresometime

SallyB21 wrote: »

£25 for a meal including drinks.My friend, this is an absolute bargain. You can't get a meal at Pizza Express for that price. You need to get out more...

So you wouldn't think it odd that a £150 per night hotel is only charging £25 for food & drink?


I'd be tempted to say you'll book a room yourself and pay £50 for the activities (have you been told what they are?) and food & drink (I'd also find out more about what's going to be offered) separately.

happyinflorida

I'd definitely ask for full information and a break down on exactly what the £200 is for and what is covered and a full breakdown on all the actual costs showing how the figure of £200 has been reached

The only suggestion I can make as to why it appears to be a higher charge than it should be - is the person organising it giving a free place to the groom that everyone's paying for?

I know I've heard of that with some hen do's - personally I don't agree with it

onwards&upwards

It’s totally reasonable to say ‘what is the £25 for food actually buying so I know how much extra beer money to bring’ and ‘what are the activities for £25 so I can show my other mate/girlfriend/dad who is booking a do too and Has a similar budget’.

As for AirBnB, the prices go up and down a lot depending on demand. I’d want to be certain before casting a shadow over the whole thing for the groom with an accusation. Do the people who know the best man well strike you as decent blokes?

justcreatedthis

SallyB21 wrote: »

£25 for a meal including drinks.My friend, this is an absolute bargain. You can't get a meal at Pizza Express for that price. You need to get out more...

:rotfl::rotfl::T:rotfl: love it!

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

So you wouldn't think it odd that a £150 per night hotel is only charging £25 for food & drink?
I'd be tempted to say you'll book a room yourself and pay £50 for the activities (have you been told what they are?) and food & drink (I'd also find out more about what's going to be offered) separately.

Not MSE's fault this time, I should clarify further:

The accommodation isn't a hotel so I cannot just book a room for myself. The whole place has been reserved for us.
Again, £25 isn't for a meal in a hotel (which yes, seems extremely good value!): it's for ingredients we're buying to cook for ourselves. So, in excess of £300 for a home-cooked meal and drinks. Thanks _party_

Calpol4life

suecoo1966 wrote: »

So if ten people are being overcharged by £40 the best man is making £400! 20 people and that's £800! we haven't all got money to give away and to some £40 is a fair bit of money. The costs should be transparent

In my defence this was before the details came out and was only theoretical.

I guess it comes do to principles.... I have been on several dos where certain costs have been estimated, or, pooled....

For example - boat trip.... book the boat for 8 hours cost = £500.... that £500 needs to split between either 5,10 or 20 people depending on how many people say yes (pure example)

Therefore, in the past, any ‘left over’ was put in the drinks fund, or once paid for a whole meal....

And what I mean with principles is that in that situation, I’d declare the left over and distribute it for communal funds - and I’d like to think most people are the same?

Either way, clearly I’m in the minority..... sorry all you money savers :money:

eao

Just £200! There seems to be this idiotic acceptance that 'guests' should indulge in a spending spree whether or not they can afford it, and the 'guests' comply meekly, so why doesn't he make it £4-500 and make a decent profit.

The alternative; be sensible, wish them good luck and stay home.

justcreatedthis

eao wrote: »

The alternative; be sensible, wish them good luck and stay home.

onwards&upwards wrote: »

It’s totally reasonable to say ‘what is the £25 for food actually buying so I know how much extra beer money to bring’

Thanks guys, getting a real good debate going on here now. Guess this is exactly where we're at. Push him again, after he's already knocked us back, or just suck it up to avoid further awkwardness/stay home.

onwards&upwards wrote: »

As for AirBnB, the prices go up and down a lot depending on demand. I’d want to be certain before casting a shadow over the whole thing for the groom with an accusation. Do the people who know the best man well strike you as decent blokes?

Totally agree with you and we've done a lot of digging to get as similar a quote as possible: ours was about £500 less than what he's asking in terms of accommodation. And yes, the groom is our main/only concern really, otherwise we'd have called the best man out straight away.

The ones that we know that are going are all as decent as they come. Hence us giving him the benefit of the doubt this whole time. Some upfront clarity would have avoided all of this no doubt.

I am now wondering whether the £25 for food and drink is an underestimation which might compensate for the overnight cost, as some of you have said it's very reasonable. It is for a home-cooked meal though, not for a hotel or restaurant etc.